Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My son was stolen by my ex-wife

Smiling Muslim boy

Muslim boy.

Salam wa alakum,

I want to start by saying that i am not super strong Muslim but i believe in Allah and the last Prophet.

I can write a lot but im going to try to be short in my writing.

I have been happy married for many years, and of course we had our down and ups but it was good. She was a good wife i belive, but i was also a good husband. We both have done wrong to each other but we always was sorry in our heart i belive.

After many year i started to have some more trust in my ex wife and told her that i am ready for having a child, do you still want, she started to cry and couldn't belive what i just said but yes she really wanted after so many years of nagging. It has always been me who is working and taking care, food, clothes, resturang, traveling, supporting and so on. She never needed to think twice about money, she always had money on her hand or the bank card. I was never in for "why is it only me who has to work for money" I saw this as my duty for being her hustband. She had it all. I never regretet to have spend money with her and doing all the fun things.

I supported her all the 9 month with everything. She said to authorities, social worker, the court that have lookt into our situation that i havent care about her pregnancy, i didn't takre care of her, i controlled her all these years, that i hit her all these years, i would cut her head off, i would kill our son, i didn't take care of our son at all, she also said that she has never ever ever seen money. All these is not true.

But authorities and social worker are supporting her becouse she is a female and im a guy. They buy all her word with no evidence and my words was thrown to the wall, I also had alot of proof what her family said, and my ex wife said, they listened but never wrote it nowehere in the paper,

It started when we where visiting her Family in our home country, I saw many times when Her brother hit new wife, and i mean many times, but becouse of our culture no one should interfere in this. 1 time 2 time 4 time 7 time... In the end My ex splitted them and they started to yell alot and i took my son out of the house. When i heard it was calm in there, i said to my ex come take our child i will take diaper for him, she sat outside the house. I walked in and opened the door, her brother wanted to walk outside the window where my ex sat with out child and my ex sister hold his hand hard so he could not go anywhere, I was like "what is happening", then Another female is yelling my ex name saying Ruuuun he is going to kill you, and he pointed gun at me and said you and her get out and shaking with the gun verry much,
then i run after my ex wife i could not find her first, i went secund house, thirds house i found her laying fainted on the floor. I was screaming WHERE IS MY SON many time no one said nothing. then one came to me and gaved my son, i was checking if she fainted with our son, he was all fine, then i went and woke her upp, and the first things she said was "He want to kill me"

Later on I had to act all cool like this is normal and so on. When we came home it was different story, i told what happend in homecountry and in my homecountry you cant trust police, you give them some money, or ciggars or whatever, they be on your side. Her family know the police verry well so i can't go to them.

My ex lie what happend there, saying there was no gun, we only had fun there and starting to say that i lie and everything. It became loud, she hit my mom, my mom hit her, she was saying like "my dad is going to f*** you" and her parents thru the phone shouting other insults. It was chaos... In the end i drove her to her cousins here, i said i will be back later and as we agreed on, we going to the social authorities and talk this out and we going to divorce.

Few days later, they tell me to lie to social authorities, court and everything, i was lucky that i recorded this. i said no im going to tell the truth about everything. But she wanted to come back to me live with me and everything. I said no i don't want no more, we can have our son 1 week each to he grown up and we see later how it will be.

She then acted like she is scared of me, i will kill her and our son, and everything, She got protection from me a home, secret identity, everything is secret. If i wanted to do something i would have done long tim ago, They think i don't know where she is, but i know. but im not that kind of guy. And i will never put my son at risk so he can go to another family house. it could get worse. I know some family house are katastrofic and pedofile and so on. So i chose not to do anything to harm nobody. And i chose Everyday not to Kill anyone... she is saying that i would that but no, she is lying. if i kill something it would be spider nothing else..

I showed my evidence, the court know now she is lying, she telling different storys and everything, I showed evidence about her brother, he said " I was drunk" blablabla....

Im so afraid that no one will listen to me anyway and she will get away with this... there is no justice. I have not seen my son over 1 year, she holding him away from me for no reason, she will probebly brainwash him to later on in life that im a bad father, i want to kill and everything i wrote.... And he will then not even be interested about me his own father.

I feel like im all failing all places... it been over a year and im all catastrofic...

however i think the court buy all my evidence and take her for a lier, but they will look in different way " what is the child best" Now that the child don't know his father and only mother, the best for him is where he feel comfortable and all these kind of sense.

Over the year i been thinking
Why Allah are you helping the opressor?
Why Allah have you given her a new home?
Why Allah have you let her take my son over a year?
Why Allah are you not punishing her and her family?
Why Allah are you not helping me?
Why Allah you say ask for me i will answer....
Why Allah you are letting her, her family and authorities hurt me?
Why Allah whyy?

Even when i feel that Allah has not help me. I Still belive but it make me feel astakfirallah things... Hope is lost, trust is lost, justice is lost. I really really don't see those atributes nowhere. For me the whole world can tell me other things. But what count is what is showing and happening. not " Later in life" or " next life" these are typical answer which has no weight for me today. Allah is suppose to help and to be good, but i don't "see his help".

I can imagine, "if i had my son, he would been in daycare" maybe he would get Corona today then my parents who are weak in health would get it thru him. I say same time Alhamdulillah, But sametime Allah can protect what so ever...

I know we have our own free will. But i don't agree with That Allah is not doing nothing. Okay she did what she want to... so Now i asked Allah to step in and do something no one can do.... this is my belife in Allah, Allah can do more then my imagination and if we were all together and have imagination he would me much more then what our brains can come to a point. I mean Allah is best in all ways and biggest in all ways and perfect in all ways. I know he is this! but i think why he is not helping. that is my problem not my faith but my trust has scattred and i have hard time to fix these things,.. i can't work, make my own food almost, clean and everything. And i am a good male cook, cleaner and everything, i didn't need a wife for this im all good by my self.

But Why Allah, are you letting me die like this? becouse i don't accept this decree no matter what everyone will write here, I just don't accept this.

If Allah love more then a mother. Then i expect more of Allah then what i am now. A love like this that i have not seen my son over 1 year and opressor wins over me here is not more love than a mother. this is so logic.

I know what everyone will say, im only talking about right now now later.

Please skip things like

“And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.” (AI-Baqarah, 2:216)

And other ayats becouse i know these and i have given so many more differents ayat to help other people. These don't say me much more...

Mayby someone will say im kafir, or worse, I belive in Allah and the last messenger. But my action are shaking...

Will Allah punish her?
Will i have to wait many years?
She deserve so much punishment! I have been good hustband!!
In the end she also stole 10000 Dollar when i left her... But i don't care... I only Care of my son she can do what ever she want with the money.. Allah will take care of that maybe in next life.... But when it is about my son.... I can't wait next life or years....

Im sorry if i made someone mad or angry, I don't mean to disrespect, im sorry for my english this is my best.
May Allah guide me and Everyone and forgive us for what ever we have wronged our self and give us Jannah Ameen.

I lost my Child by cort decicion... 
Now i wounder Where is Allahs mercy, blessings, love.. I really hope dad he would had help me. But he helps the opressors... I wanted to love Allah, but now bad things is growing against Allah ☹️

- Weak human

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1 Responses »

  1. Dear Brither I understand what you are going thru—my own brother fought through the social service and against the lies till he till he was handed over the custody of his children- you have to fight for your right atleast right to see him.

    As for your doubts in Allah’s Quader so I think you shall find answer in your own Essay e.g Read:“After many year i started to have some more trust in my ex wife and told her that i am ready for having a child, do you still want, she started to cry and couldn't belive what i just said but yes she really wanted after so many years of nagging. It has always been “does it sound like you were a bit arrogant there?Allah hate arrogance Iblis was arrogant and he was thrown out of the heaven ?Im not suggesting It’s Allah’s punishment for being arrogant and deciding when you & your wife should have a child, when you thought you” trust your wife”some thing to ponder over-Repent to Allah, when something bad be fall us it’s either our own action or it is a Test: in either case repent Repent Repent Repent: Allah love those who repent.
    it’s a test for you and your wife.—what you wife is doing is absolutely disgraseful May Allah give her Hidayat!

    Don’t give up on your son & continue making Doas don’t underestimate the power of DoAS. As InSan we are impatient

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