Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I have nothing in life and have reached my breaking point

financial problems, money issue, wasting money

Assalamualaikum,

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Sorry to be posting this negative rant of mine. I am a Muslim and quite a strong believer. But my current situation has left me deeply deprived, lost, grieving, moaning, hurt, and lost beyond hope.

As I said, I am a strong, believing man. I do upkeep my Salah everyday trying my best to fulfill 5 times a day. I also sometimes pray Sunnah prayers (supplementary prayers) to better myself and keep longing to Allah for His Mercy, Forgiveness, and Rizq. I prayed Dhuha, Tahajud, Sunnatul Qabliyatn Subuh, read Al-Quran, sadaqah, and dhikr too and sometimes flipping through the Al-Quran translation for inspiration.

But sadly, nothing...nothing.

I lost my job over a year ago already; I have been down. I am in my 30s and I am not that choosy...I even worked at a shop but left/resigned due to being bullied. While in my 30s, I had no savings, very old (more than 19 years rundown) tiniest car in my home town, and that wasn't really pleasant and sometimes shameful and problematic.

I am not yet married as I am financially struggling. I have to admit I did sin in the past, but it was something that I couldn't really avoid due to my good personality and not rejecting it in order to not hurt any feelings. But yet, I prayed a lot for forgiveness (Taubah).

My question here is, do I really deserve nothing?

I prayed my whole life but most of the time, people who aren't really better than me are getting married, have comfortable cars (not luxurious but still), and overall had much better than me. Am I really an abandoned child? (I mean abandoned by Allah?) Do I deserve nothing? People around me who've been hurting me so much getting so so much better than me in life. Why?

I cried a lot everyday, sitting in the corner of my parents' house. I am in my 30s and not having a good experience at work as people are mostly just using me. Since 2 months ago, a hiring company could call me for interview for a basic salary. Really? I've been working for years while everyone around me getting grander and more comfortable while I got nothing?????????

Do I deserve nothing? What wrongs? What did I do wrong??? WHY AM I SUFFERING ALL THESE 30 YEARS?! I mean, I did have problem during my younger years and was only been able to tend to it at age of 25, but it too requires me to non-stop consume my medicine daily!

Please help me!

Abandoned Child


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4 Responses »

  1. Assalam alikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu,

    Brother actually you are a creatiion of Allah swt. Rizq is written for you. Keep on learning keep on going ahead. Being 30 and not having a lot of networth is quite normal. Do not get down due to media advertizement. You concentrate building youself financially and other wise. People used to get married at a younger age. Now even people in their 40's are single. Life is a test. You are on Quran and Sunnah do no give up. Yes be positive and start learning and start to earn mre. Do your best. It may be Allah swt given u less rizq for the time being. Do not compare youself with others. Keep up beat and keep doing good. Marriage is part of life and you will get there when the time comes.

    Which country are you in and what is your educational background so i can give u more specific advice.

    Thake care.

    Ma salam

  2. Brother actually you are a creatiion of Allah swt. Rizq is written for you. Keep on learning keep on going ahead. Being 30 and not having a lot of networth is quite normal. Do not get down due to media advertizement. You concentrate building youself financially and other wise. People used to get married at a younger age. Now even people in their 40's are single. Life is a test. You are on Quran and Sunnah do no give up. Yes be positive and start learning and start to earn mre. Do your best. It may be Allah swt given u less rizq for the time being. Do not compare youself with others. Keep up beat and keep doing good. Marriage is part of life and you will get there when the time comes.

    Which country are you in and what is your educational background so i can give u more specific advice.

    Thake care.

    Ma salam

  3. Asalamualaykum Brother in Islam,

    MashaAllah for keeping up with your obligatory and even optional Salah, and doing so many recommended acts of worship. Remember that Allah says that your every dua will be answered unless you say "I prayed and prayed and Allah didn't answer my dua." Allah answers your duas in His timing and by His infinite knowledge about what is best for you. Perhaps this is a test of patience for you. "Does a mumin think that he will be left to say "I believe" without being tested?"

    That said, you need not worry...Allah created you human and therefore somewhat impatient. There are a number of duas that specifically pertain to rizq (sustenance). When you recite these, you will no doubt see doors opening for you! Let me relate these to you:

    1. Allahumma inni as'aluka 'ilman naafi'an wa rizqan tayyiban, wa 'amalan mutaqabbalan

    O Allah! We ask You for knowledge that is of benefit, a good provision, and deeds that will be accepted

    2. Allahumma Innee As-aluka rizqan waasi-an T'Ayyiban min rizqika

    O Allah, I beseech you for sustenance - abundant, good, and lawful - from the sustenance You own

    3. Allahumma Tawalla Amree wa laa tawallah Amree Ghayraka

    O Allah, you alone administer my affairs. Do not let me depend on any other for the direction of my affairs.

    Lastly: "O Allah, my sustainer, give me abundant sustenance, make easy for me it's seeking, let its source be near me, and let me not in vain run after the sustenance You have not selected for me, because you do not want to punish me whereas I am always in need of your mercy. Give generously Your superabundant bounties to your servant, because verily You are the owner of limitless gifts."

    Inshallah these duas will give you peace of mind and contentment. What you already have will appear greater to you, and what you have not will be a source of anticipation for a more bountiful future.

    As the above advisor mentioned, 30-years-old is still very young! There are many who don't get settled until their late 30s or 40s. The key is to not think about it, for it will give you undue stress. Take it one day a time and focus on the next day and what you have to get accomplished then. Also, contrarily, think of the Akhira and the Day of Judgement, which will be the great equalizer when no one's wealth in the dunya will help them unless they used it in Allah's way. So it's best not to compare what you have to what others have. That guy with the Mercedes may be using it to pick up prostitutes and thereby losing all blessings in it, While the person riding a bike or even walking to work may be giving to the homeless man at the side of the street on his way to work. You just don't know. So lets leave others' test of poverty or wealth their business, and between them and Allah yeah? Your time will come!

    Best,

    Nor
    IslamicAnswers

  4. I just made some edits to your message

    Assalamualaikum,
    Dear Brothers and Sisters,
    Sorry to be posting this negative rant of mine. I am a Muslim and quite a strong believer. But my current situation has left me deeply deprived, lost, grieving, moaning, hurt, and lost beyond hope.
    Your current situation is not your long-term situation. Unless time stops. Lost- Hold on to the rope of Allah swt Quran and Sunnah and worldly education and hard work. Leave everything else on Allah swt.

    As I said, I am a strong, believing man 100%. I do upkeep my Salah everyday trying my best to fulfill 5 times a day 100%. I also sometimes pray Sunnah prayers (supplementary prayers) to better myself and keep longing to Allah for His Mercy, Forgiveness, and Rizq. I prayed Dhuha100% , Tahajud 100%, Sunnatul Qabliyatn Subuh, read Al-Quran 100%, sadaqah, and dhikr too and sometimes flipping through the Al-Quran translation for inspiration.

    But sadly, nothing...nothing.
    Look at the stories of the prophets. You have a lot going for you. All the good qualities you listed above. 100%

    I lost my job over a year ago already; I have been down (Temporary set back, things will change over time, you are not only one in the world who lost a job). I am in my 30s and I am not that choosy...I even worked at a shop but left/resigned due to being bullied – Ok things were bad but you had a choice. There are many who are working for years where they are bullied. Thank Allah swt for it.
    . While in my 30s, I had no savings, very old (more than 19 years rundown) tiniest car in my hometown, and that wasn't really pleasant and sometimes shameful and problematic. Many 30-year olds have no savings. You have a car. That is something. At least you can drive a car. Thank Allah swt for what you have. There are millions who do not have anything. Like the mother who lost a son. Or a father who lost their whole family.
    I am not yet married as I am financially struggling. I have to admit I did sin in the past, but it was something that I couldn't really avoid due to my good personality and not rejecting it in order to not hurt any feelings. But yet, I prayed a lot for forgiveness (Taubah). There are millions who are suffering financially and are not married. So keep on going.
    My question here is, do I really deserve nothing? We humans deserve nothing everything is a blessing of Allah swt. It is part of our Aqeeda.
    I prayed my whole life but most of the time, people who aren't really better than me are getting married, have comfortable cars (not luxurious but still), and overall had much better than me. Other people are not tested what you are tested for so do not compare yourself with others. Nor they will get the reward you will get in Junnah for your test. So do not lessen your reward by going low on your patience. Allah swt gives you reward in Jannah for patience. For every ride you take in the car of your you can get a better car in Jannah inshaallah
    Am I really an abandoned child? (I mean abandoned by Allah?) Do I deserve nothing? People around me who've been hurting me so much getting so so much better than me in life. Why? Because Allah swt has a plan for you. Be content with the plan of Allah swt. It is the best plan. What Allah gave you believe you deserve less. And thank Allah swt from the bottom of your heart. But work hard as Allah swt can give you a lot more InshaAllah.
    I cried a lot everyday, sitting in the corner of my parents' house. I am in my 30s and not having a good experience at work as people are mostly just using me. This is how the world is. You will get better at dealing with people. Learn how to deal with people. You are emotionally weak so learn about emotions you will get million times better.

    Since 2 months ago, a hiring company could call me for interview for a basic salary. Really? I've been working for years while everyone around me getting grander and more comfortable while I got nothing????????? Keep on going you will learn and advance. There is no free lunch. Once you figure out how to advance you will go for it. But do not let it cause you suffering get up and get the job you are able to secure then climb up. At least you have a body that is working. There are many who are born with issues that can never work. Is this not a good reason to thank Allah. Is it not a reason to feel gratitude that you we not a 5 year old child with cancer and full of pain. Being poor is not a crime. Being ungrateful is an issue. So get up and keep up the good work.
    Do I deserve nothing? What wrongs? What did I do wrong??? WHY AM I SUFFERING ALL THESE 30 YEARS?! I mean, I did have problem during my younger years and was only been able to tend to it at age of 25, but it too requires me to non-stop consume my medicine daily!
    Spend next 30 years and learning about.
    1. Emotions
    2. Stay very strong no matter what. You deserve nothing. Everything you have is a blessing and mercy of Allah.
    3. Spend next 30 years learning on how to make money and balance it with the knowledge of the deen.
    4. Do Not Feel Bad. You are not poor because you have Allah and that is more then enough. Give your parents the best smile you have and keep smiling for the rest of your life.

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