Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Feminism and the “Modern” Wife

Salam everyone,

I am a Muslim man who wants to get married soon. However, I see so many women these days are consumed by the "feminism" movement. We are Muslim, we don't follow other ideologies. The worst part is that the Muslim-feminist women are worse than non-Muslim feminist women, because a Muslim-feminist woman wants a traditional man, but she wants everything else to be "Equal",

For example, a Muslim-Feminist woman says: "I want a man who works all day then he must come home and he cooks and cleans 50/50 as well, and his money is the 'women's money' and her money is only her money."

A real feminist women will say, "No, everything is equal 50/50 from A-Z."

A Muslim-feminist will also look at the prophets wife, Khadeja (RA), and say look "she worked, she had businesses, etc" but do you forget that she hired people to work for her so that when she was married to the prophet, she looked after him and his family?

In Islam, women have rights that were not given to any women in history before. Islam makes it mandatory to SPEND on the women for all her needs. The man has control over the finances and he must provide for his wife and his family. Each gender has their own role. The prophet mentioned that a women must look after her husband and her family. So why are these men today asking their wives to work and spend 50/50, and women today are demanding to work and want to put their children in daycare so that someone else will raise their kids?

Someone please tell me, do women who want to actually start a family and are not consumed by this feminism movement still exist today? If so, how do I find women like this and what questions to ask when asking for someone's hand?


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11 Responses »

  1. You will not find all Muslim woman to be feminist. It’s very important to discuss these things before marriage about who will cook, clean, take out the garbage, watch the kids, etc. If you are looking for a wife that will stay home and take care of the kids, you will find such woman. There are woman who wants to do it, it’s in their nature to become a housewife.

  2. Alhamdulillah not all muslim women are like this. InshaAllah you will find the one that you are looking for, keep making dua and like one of the comments said, it's important to discuss gender roles with the person you are interested in.

    • Thank you,

      What are some of the questions you would ask to know the characteristic or thought process of the other person.

      • Asalamualaykum Brother,

        I think you just need to be very direct with whoever you are interested in. Tell them that you are looking for a more traditional woman who plays the traditional role of housewife. Ask her if she enjoys making her family her main focus...if she finds genuine pleasure in cooking, cleaning, laundry, helping children with schoolwork, basically keeping the home running smoothly and deriving happiness from that. If you meet a career woman and you like her, you could ask her if she still sees herself doing some house chores as well, or if that thought stresses her out. Read the girl's inflections and body should be easy to tell what she sees herself doing after marriage.



        • Thank you, very well said, will take your advice.

        • Asww,

          Nor gave a practical advice. indeed if you follow this, definitely you will find the girl you are looking for. I had the same thought before I got married not long ago. I was dreaming the one who was more into Deen and a traditional house wife. I had a well paid job so I didn't need any financial support from the life partner. Finally my family found the one, However the girl's family, they never let me speak to my current wife. I was being told that she is quite religious and hafiz e Quran. She was quite reserved after the wedding. always into her phone. Spoiled all my beautiful time. Finally when I brought her here in UK. I found out one day, that she was watching adult stuff in my absence whilst I am in office. This break me down into pieces, shattered my trust. This is the price I paid for being so innocent and used.

          All I suggest is whenever you come across the one you are looking for, Don't go blindly into marriage straight. See her face to face, Like Nor advised see her body language. Observe her. Go through her social media accounts. You will definitely find out her true self.

          • I am so sorry to hear that. How are you handling the situation now?

            When they prevented you from seeing and talking to her was a red flag. Made up an excuse that she is religious and hafiz. Doesn’t matter, you have an obligation to se her as you will be spending the rest of your life with her. Since she is always on the phone, could she be talking to a guy, sex talk? I am just saying since she was watching porn.

  3. As I was looking for a religious wife. So definitely they exploited this opportunity. We spent a time apart due to visa complication until, she arrived here and i came to know accidentally whilst using her phone. Apparently she denied everything but later accepted. The issue was brought up to her family and no one believed me. I found some call log but I didn't know who did she speak with. However she is a pathetic liar and manipulating. Now trapped due to a kid involved.

    • You don’t have to be stuck if you don’t want to. Yes, you have a kid and that makes it harder. She is what she is, terrible lier and manipulator. She won’t change and make your life any better. She took advantage because she knows you won’t go anywhere.

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