Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I don’t want to marry him but I already said “yes!”

Controlling husbandSalam,

I got a proposal two months ago through one of my family members. Because my mom has passed, my elder sister is responsible. When the guy's family came, they mentioned that he doesn’t have higher education but has passed 12th grade and done a few computer courses. After they left, my family was happy about it and they told me it's a good proposal. They also referenced my age and advised that I should say "yes."

After a few days, I indeed said "yes." I have no idea what came over me but I agreed! After the engagement, I started talking to my fiance and he mentioned that he has completed an FA, but after just a few days, he said he hasn’t studied and never finished college.  He earns a lot, but I do not feel comfortable anymore.  When I told my family, they didn't consider this a big deal; I did Istikhara several times but got no result.

I just feel like I will not be happy with this guy. I am currently doing my Masters and working. I am not feeling any superiority over him either. I know that we do not know about the future but I still do not feel good about this proposal. My whole family is blaming me, saying that I should have never said yes in first place, but I can't change back time. They are all saying that it will be bad if this engagement breaks and they will all stop talking to me!

My sister is worried and cries; she also blames me. The guy's family is good, they all love me. But the guy discussed everything with his mother, so now the guy's mother is also worried. My family says I will be cursed “Azaar”.  I feel like I have no one who understands what's going on in my mind.

What can I do if I am not feeling good about the guy? I just feel like breaking the engagement but at the same time, my whole family will be against me including my sisters. My dad doesn’t care at all.

I am in a terrible situation right now, Allah knows.

Please help me,


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2 Responses »

  1. Sister please don't accept the marriage if you don't feel satisfied with the guy. Your happiness is extremely Important for the success of your marriage. ALLAH SWT doesn't like divorce it's true but he made it ahalal for a reason . it's better for you to not marry this guy. Who cares about breaking off an engagement or going back on your words , nobody is going to love with the consequences but yourself. And don't listen to them you're not cursed. What they're doing is haram forcing you to accept someone you don't want to marry.

  2. You didn’t mention why specially you didn’t like about him. Is it because you have a master degrees and and he has no degrees. Have you got to know each other before you saying yes?

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