Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I have multiple proposals. How do I navigate this?


Asalamualaikum Brothers and Sisters,

I basically wanted to know if it is okay for a girl to consider more than one proposal at a time?

I would appreciate it if I could get a proper answer since I'm very confused on this matter.


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6 Responses »

  1. You should meet them and then select the one you're most compatible with and has his life in order. Check their socials to get a glimpse of what type of person they are. Don't be pressured into making a decision and don't be indecisive don't embarrass your family .

  2. Wa alaikum salaam Sister. A woman really should avoid giving a man the impression she is available for marriage while at the same time considering a marriage proposal from another man. Sometimes this is unavoidable. as in the case where a woman considering marriage with one man has another man abruptly propose to her upon meeting her. At that time, she is obligated to tell the man she is considering a marriage proposal, but perhaps he could contact her at a specific time in the future so she can properly tell the first man no to his request and then the second man can ask her to marry him again.

    No one has control over someone else and it is very flattering to have more than one person admire you and to be compelled to want to marry you. However, ethics and consideration for others feelings supercedes attention received. Always consider how you might feel if you were in someone else's shoes. It also may be difficult and unfair to chose between more than one marriage proposal at one time. Men and women are not goods for sale, where you place potential spouses on a market and measure their assets.

    A Bukhari Hadith and Hadith of Imam Ahmad (may Allah be pleased with them both) reported that Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "A man is not permitted to ask for a woman in marriage when another Muslim has already done so until the former retracts his proposal or permits him."

  3. This is probably a little wierd, but from your user name im guessing ur age is 17? Just go on some dates with them, get to knoe each one as a person. At your age, u dont really have enough (or any) experience and knowledge to know what u want, what u like and dont like in a partner. So unless your goal is to marry a rich man and be set for life, then just say no ro marriage to all of them. Do u really know them at all? Go on a few dates, start a relationship. Try out a few guys. It could take a few years. No rush. Spend your yourh discovering yourself. Thats the best advice you'll probably get. The worst advice is pick the richest one, a man that your family agrees on, let that rich 39 year old guy on the bus who u dont know take u as his child-bride- sorry i meant wife, normal wife, so long as you're both good muslims...

    • Peace,

      Go on a few dates, start a relationship. Try out a few guys.

      so long as you're both good muslims

      Curious, does being a "good Muslim" these days mean that it's normal to go on dates and have relationships?!

      What's the point of as-salaat if not to stop Muslims from going on dates and getting involved in haraam - i.e. you're on a date, and the time for asr approaches, you both rush to masjid, make wudu, pray your salaat, come out and continue on your date and go on to have coffee... but woops, it's time for maghrib, better rush to masjid... or maybe not?

      اتْلُ مَا أُوحِيَ إِلَيْكَ مِنَ الْكِتَابِ وَأَقِمِ الصَّلَاةَ ۖ إِنَّ الصَّلَاةَ تَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنكَرِ ۗ وَلَذِكْرُ اللَّهِ أَكْبَرُ ۗ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ مَا تَصْنَعُونَ

      Recite, [O Muhammad], what has been revealed to you of the Book and establish prayer.

      Indeed, as-salaat (the prayer) prevents from al-fahsha' (i.e. great sins of every kind, unlawful sexual intercourse, etc.) and al-munkar (i.e. disbelief, polytheism, and every kind of evil wicked deed, etc.)

      and the remembering (praising, etc.) of (you by) Allah (in front of the angels) is greater indeed [than your remembering (praising, etc.) Allah in prayers, etc.]. And Allah knows what you do.

      May Allah, The Ever Forgiving, the Most Merciful forgive us, guide us on the straight path, and allow us not to go astray after being guided, and protect us from immorality, ameen!

      Peace be with you and all Muslims.

  4. as-salaamu 'alaikum wa-rahmatullah,

    Some replies are a little concerning, so I hope dear sister, you will come to read this.
    I won't talk about whether you're ready or the conditions of marriage or what it entails, instead just to answer the question directly.

    The Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wassallam is very clear on this matter, and there are numerous ahadith collected on this and narrated by various companions, so much so that it may be considered a matawatir hadith (numerous narrators and a hadith in which there is no doubt)...

    'Uqba b. 'Amir said on the pulpit that Allah's Messenger (sallallahu 'alayhi wassallam) said:

    A believer is the brother of a believer, so it is not lawful for a believer to outbid his brother, and he should not propose an engagement when his brother has thus proposed until he gives it up.

    - Sahih Muslim, kitab an-nikah

    'Abdullah bin 'Amr used to say:

    "The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu 'alayhi wassallam) forbade offering more for something that has already been bought by his brother, or for a man to propose marriage to a woman when someone else has already proposed to her, unless the previous suitor gave up the idea or gave him permission."

    (sahih (authentic))
    - Sunan an-Nasa'i, kitab an-nikah, book 26, hadith 48

    Ibn 'Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) said:

    The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu 'alayhi wassallam) said,
    "A person should not enter into a transaction when his (Muslim) brother has already negotiated, nor should he make a proposal of marriage when that of his brother is pending, except with the permission of the latter."

    [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
    - collected in riyad as-saaliheen, hadith 1779

    Every Muslim should ideally have at least two books in their home which they should read, the Qur'aan and riyad as-saliheen: a collection of various sahih ahadith with their meaning, including some of the basics of Islam.

    So as you can see dear sister, it is not allowed to consider more than the first brother who proposed marriage, otherwise you may find the shaytaan will distract you from the ultimate aim of being with a kind, gentle, educated, practising brother rather than simply the one has outward beauty.

    Peace be with you and all Muslims, and may Allah al-muhaimin ur-rahmaan protect our sisters in Islam from haraam relations and forgive us all and help us to establish clean and soft hearts which long for the aakhira, ameen ya-rabbil 3alameen!

    was-salaamu 'alaikum wa-rahmatullah.

  5. Thank you for the knowledgeable post brother.


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