I have multiple proposals. How do I navigate this?
Asalamualaikum Brothers and Sisters,
I basically wanted to know if it is okay for a girl to consider more than one proposal at a time?
I would appreciate it if I could get a proper answer since I'm very confused on this matter.
JazakAllah
6 Responses »
Leave a Response
You should meet them and then select the one you're most compatible with and has his life in order. Check their socials to get a glimpse of what type of person they are. Don't be pressured into making a decision and don't be indecisive don't embarrass your family .
Wa alaikum salaam Sister. A woman really should avoid giving a man the impression she is available for marriage while at the same time considering a marriage proposal from another man. Sometimes this is unavoidable. as in the case where a woman considering marriage with one man has another man abruptly propose to her upon meeting her. At that time, she is obligated to tell the man she is considering a marriage proposal, but perhaps he could contact her at a specific time in the future so she can properly tell the first man no to his request and then the second man can ask her to marry him again.
No one has control over someone else and it is very flattering to have more than one person admire you and to be compelled to want to marry you. However, ethics and consideration for others feelings supercedes attention received. Always consider how you might feel if you were in someone else's shoes. It also may be difficult and unfair to chose between more than one marriage proposal at one time. Men and women are not goods for sale, where you place potential spouses on a market and measure their assets.
A Bukhari Hadith and Hadith of Imam Ahmad (may Allah be pleased with them both) reported that Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "A man is not permitted to ask for a woman in marriage when another Muslim has already done so until the former retracts his proposal or permits him."
This is probably a little wierd, but from your user name im guessing ur age is 17? Just go on some dates with them, get to knoe each one as a person. At your age, u dont really have enough (or any) experience and knowledge to know what u want, what u like and dont like in a partner. So unless your goal is to marry a rich man and be set for life, then just say no ro marriage to all of them. Do u really know them at all? Go on a few dates, start a relationship. Try out a few guys. It could take a few years. No rush. Spend your yourh discovering yourself. Thats the best advice you'll probably get. The worst advice is pick the richest one, a man that your family agrees on, let that rich 39 year old guy on the bus who u dont know take u as his child-bride- sorry i meant wife, normal wife, so long as you're both good muslims...
Peace,
Curious, does being a "good Muslim" these days mean that it's normal to go on dates and have relationships?!
What's the point of as-salaat if not to stop Muslims from going on dates and getting involved in haraam - i.e. you're on a date, and the time for asr approaches, you both rush to masjid, make wudu, pray your salaat, come out and continue on your date and go on to have coffee... but woops, it's time for maghrib, better rush to masjid... or maybe not?
May Allah, The Ever Forgiving, the Most Merciful forgive us, guide us on the straight path, and allow us not to go astray after being guided, and protect us from immorality, ameen!
Peace be with you and all Muslims.
as-salaamu 'alaikum wa-rahmatullah,
Some replies are a little concerning, so I hope dear sister, you will come to read this.
I won't talk about whether you're ready or the conditions of marriage or what it entails, instead just to answer the question directly.
The Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wassallam is very clear on this matter, and there are numerous ahadith collected on this and narrated by various companions, so much so that it may be considered a matawatir hadith (numerous narrators and a hadith in which there is no doubt)...
Every Muslim should ideally have at least two books in their home which they should read, the Qur'aan and riyad as-saliheen: a collection of various sahih ahadith with their meaning, including some of the basics of Islam.
So as you can see dear sister, it is not allowed to consider more than the first brother who proposed marriage, otherwise you may find the shaytaan will distract you from the ultimate aim of being with a kind, gentle, educated, practising brother rather than simply the one has outward beauty.
Peace be with you and all Muslims, and may Allah al-muhaimin ur-rahmaan protect our sisters in Islam from haraam relations and forgive us all and help us to establish clean and soft hearts which long for the aakhira, ameen ya-rabbil 3alameen!
was-salaamu 'alaikum wa-rahmatullah.
Thank you for the knowledgeable post brother.
Nor
IslamicAnswers