Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Talking to fiancé…to what extent is it permissible?

Ringing phone


I have been living in the U.S. all my life but raised with the culture and Islam. Two years ago, my parents got me engaged to a family friend living back home. I am currently in university in Europe and a few months ago, my fiancé and his family moved here too.

We both have each others' numbers and have been messaging casually, that too only once a week. It is a casual conversation about likes/dislikes and how our days are going. My father raised me here but he is strict and wouldn't be happy if he found out I message him.

The only reason we message is to stay in touch and stay reminded of our engagement. The wedding will not be until I finish my studies, so is it Islamically wrong for us to "casually" message? Should I stop messaging him and just wait until we get married? This has been on the back of my mind for a while, please give me some advice on what to do.

Muslim girl

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3 Responses »

  1. You have been engaged with him for 2 years. There is no thing as long engagements in Islam. Furthermore, there is absolutely nothing wrong to talk to your fiancé on the phone to get to know him. It’s better to know what kind of a person he is now then after marriage. To feel comfortable let your parents know that you are talking to him because you have agree to marry him.

    • Assalam Aailikum wrb. @ Tami,

      She cannot talk with Non-Mahram even after engagement in Islam. She can talk only infront of their Parents.

      Anwar from UAE

      • Walaikum Asalam Anwar from UAE,
        She is talking to a non-mahram with the intention of marriage. Not for time pass. Yes we are not suppose to talk to non-mahram. Allah knows your intention. There are parents that give permission for potentials to talk on the phone and let them meet at a crowded place to get to know one another for a short time, not dating. As long as their guardian are aware of it and their hearts are pure then there’s nothing wrong with it.

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