Islamic marriage advice and family advice

She says her marriage to me was forced and she doesn’t want it

forced marriageHi. I was engaged to my "practising" muslim cousin for 3 years. During this time we never spoke to each other as her mom didn't find it acceptable. But soon before nikkah she told me she hangs out with guys.

She promised me that she will no longer do that after nikkah and did tawbah. I asked her twice if she wants us to be together & she said yes. We did our nikkah which was 4 months ago. Four days later after nikkah she traveled back to Europe.

We kept talking until 2 months after which she confessed that it was a forced marriage and that she liked the guy she use to hangout with but tried to work this nikkah out due to engagement made years ago.

Her parents made a promise to me 3 years ago that  if I moved from Malaysia to Australia, she will move with me to Australia because she can only continue her studies there. She agreed to this earlier but now finds out that she can't stand to this commitment as its risking her career (med school wont take her). I honestly liked her & trusted her so I moved to Australia as agreed. Now she claims this is part of the reason she doesn't this marriage, because her career will be ruined.

She also tells me now that she isnt very practising muslim, she has been doing weed and sheesha. I don't know if she's lying. We met her parents and they do not agree that they forced her. Is my nikkah valid?

She is saying that this Nikkah is not valid because it was forced. But I'm confused because she said she wanted to try and after she's done trying she wants to get out of it using "forced marriage hadith". Whether or not it was.

I'm now wondering if this is a woman i should continue my marriage with (advice) ?

Please note marriage was not consummated.

- cerian

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5 Responses »

  1. Immediately leave her, do not an emotional decision. She will ruin your rest of life. She is not stable minded. Only liking is not enough to spend a respectable life. Leave her.

  2. Assalamualaikum Brother, You have just faced my Situation just difference is Education and Location I am residing in India. As same as you I was engaged with my Wife for 8 Months, At that Time I was not Knowledgeable person of Islam only had trust on Allah and Prophet Mohammad Rasulullah SA. I just faced same issue as you are after 29th day she called me and told me Just Leave me I Don't wanna live with you. After 1 month she was crying very hardly and told to my Father and family, This is forced Marriage by my parents I wanted to go with my friend but they didn't agree with me. So My father was A Police Officer he accepted that and told me Sun you are in trouble she's wanted to live you Leave don't stop her, if you do that you and us will be in trouble or jail without any crime. Then my life saved by that decision. So brother This is same I hope. Take your time to understand her she's telling about Islam I am telling you she's telling you Fitnah nothing True. I have faced Strong Fitnah as Well by Allah's name . And Be patient Trust Allah let Allah handle your matter trust me inshallah you will receive very acceptable judgement I am sure you will not decline it. And 1 more thing Today1st May, 2020 we Are entered in End Times of world When Fitnah will grow stronger and stronger day by day, So also Judgement day is with us Just waiting for Allah's Permission. Please do Tauba it's Door is near to close right now.

  3. Brother,

    To be in a marriage with someone who doesn't want to be with you, wouldn't that hurt you? Imagine you're living with her, seeing her and talking to her but in her heart, she is thinking of someone else. How would you feel?

    In your current situation, she is in a different location. Even worst. Why subject yourself to this agony? You've moved to Australia? Well...we never know the plan of Allah but Allah is the Best Planner. Allah made you go through all this so that you come closer to Allah first. So lay your trust and hope only in Allah. Perhaps there's someone much better for you there. Especially when the marriage was not consummated, better to just let her go.

  4. Go for someone who really wants you. Not forced cousin marriage. You will find someone better. Be happy that you didn’t end up with her and with kids. At least she was honest and didn’t ruin your life, so applaud her for that. There are many force cousin marriages with no value to marriage except to make their very traditional parents happy, and you live a miserable life for the rest of your life.

  5. Salam,

    I agree with everyone, please leave her now. Whether or not the marriage was valid doesn't matter. If she wants to be with someone else you leave her immediately. Marriage hasn't been consumated so this is a great time to break up.

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