Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Pregnant with abusive husband’s baby


I have two kids. One is 11 years old and another one is 11 months old. Now I am again pregnant. The problem is that my husband has so many issues. He has an abusive nature, beats me often, addict, no job, having extra marital affair. I am doing a good job but he controlled everything and all the time torturing me. I can't divorce him for several reasons. Please just advise me as now I am pregnant just 5 weeks running. What will I do? Please give me a solution.



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2 Responses »

  1. Ws

    What are you doing in such a relationship? There is no solution except to leave him and to find a way to do that. If you live in the west, it would be easy, as you can have him arrested next time he hits you and banned from approaching you. You can work out visitation rights for children later.

    I afraid these sort of people never get better, an addict who beats you and sleeps with other women is not going to change - you need to give up that hope right now.

    You need to leave this loser right away. Get your family/friends involved so that he is not able to abuse you after you leave him. Things are not going to change unless you make the change. Every year that passes you will regret not leaving him earlier.

  2. I am sorry that you have an abusive husband. No one deserves to be beaten by their spouse or anyone. In your letter you stated that you could not divorce him, but that might be the only solution. To raise your children in this type of environment is not healthy. They will grow up being nervous and afraid that your husband will actually kill you one day. Also consider that your children might become abusive to their spouse or allow their spouse to abuse them because they saw it in their own house as children. I don't want your children to consider it normal behavior to hit another human being. I would also like for you to consider your own health. Most bruises will heal but what if your cheating husband gives you an incurable STD? (Some diseases can be passed to an unborn child.) Who will take care of your children? They need you! I would like for you to consider some of the points I have made. I didn't suggest that you pray to Allah about this because I am sure that you have many times. Since you stated that you have a good job maybe that is Allah's way of facilitating a way out for you. There are many women who don't work and would have no way of taking care of themselves and their children. You have a job and you are paying the bills now. Use your resources to start a new abuse free life. Consider divorcing your husband for the safety of yourself and your children.

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