Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Removing veil in front of non-mahram. Help!!

Muslim woman wearing niqabi, known as niqabi


i have Just joined site today to post this question and hopefully I have posted in right section.


I have question about Umrah, I will go with brother and his friend.
I am niqabi and I stay very much in Parda, but according to Hanafi law, you can not cover face whilst performing tawaf and say, etc.

My brothers friend is a potential spouse for me. I feel very uncomfortable and stressed. I don't want to remove my niqab in front of him.
I always catch him staring at me, and the thought of him seeing me makes me very nervous.

Please advise me what I can do. I read that you can place an item, like book or fan jnfront of your face, but this is not comfortable, is it?

What should I do? Please help.

I've spoken to friends about it and they say that people will be focused on ibadah there, so no need to worry. I understand but I am nervous and panicked about my brothers friend.
He is not mahram and could be a khasdedar (suitor) for me.


what do you advise? What should I do? Any alternatives?


Thanks a bunch

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15 Responses »

  1. intresting question, obviously he hasnt seen your face for so many years and if he sees you now after that long then it will be awkward lol and he might suddenly fall in love with you and neveer leave you alone. chances are he has spied on you and seen you already so i wouldnt worry or he has hacked your laptop and seen more than that. dont worry sister he knows what you look like already just go umrah and pray that he marries you.

    • No, he has never seen me without niqab. And I don't know him since childhood.

      Why would I pray to be married to him?

      Just very nervous.

  2. Asalaamu Alaikum,

    Please post your question here: they have a very reliable answering service, answered by qualified scholars, of both the Hanafi and Shaaf'i madhaab.

    I pray you find solace and can concentrate on your Lord and worship of Him.

    • Aselam u alaikum,

      JazaKAllah khayr for sharing this.
      I have actually visited this site for the courses, but was unaware that they offer a question and answer service.

      May Allah bless you.

  3. It's not normal to be nervous about showing your face and hide behind a parda. Do you suffer from some kind of phobia or anxiety? Or perhaps low self-esteem / lack of confidence about the way you look?

    • No I don't suffer from anything like that. I'm perfectly fine,comfortable and confident with removing my niqab if I have to, alhamdulillah.

      I don't have a problem with anyone else seeing me.
      It's just him, I don't want him to see me. I find him a bit creepy especially as I catch him staring.

  4. Assalamualaikum my dear sister you could talk to your brother that you are not comfortable traveling with his friend he is non-mahram to you I'm sure in sha Allah he well understand. and there's nothing wrong with not showing your face in fact it's a very good choice that you made I am very proud of you and happy for you that you wear niqab may Allah bless you for that .I pray that things work out in your favor. Have a wonderful Journey.

    • Wa Alaikom aselam wa rehmatullah my Brother/Sister,

      Thank you for your sweet message.
      It has certainly made my day!

      I think you're right. I am considering just mentioning it to my brother. May be easier than stressing like I am rather than preparing for the Blessed Ziyarah like I should be!

      May Allah Bless you abundantly.

      • Salam alaikum. im very proud of you to for thinking like that and for doing purdah. You see, there are alot of creepy men who would stare at women whilst doing tawaf too so your concerns are valid.
        if you catch the guy staring at you all the time, then i believe he is not a good friend to your brother as i believe a good guy shouldnt stare at his friend"s sister like that.
        can you ask your brother not to take him to umrah with you guys. even if you guys go together, try that you only go do tawaf when he is not around. that is, go separrately with your brother. May Allah reward you

        • Aselam u alaikum wa rehmatullah,

          Thank you for your kind words. May Allah shower His Blessings upon you.

          No, I believe he is an ok guy, just has staring issues.
          I just feel awkward and very shy when I catch him looking, but I don't show that it bothers me too much - which it does! A lot.

          You know, I did consider that. I did consider telling my brother that can we perhaps change our plans for a little while later (just so his friend wouldn't come). But I felt really selfish and malicious even thinking that.

          Like the excitement and love I have to visit baitullah in Masjid Haram and the Beloved Madinah tul Munawwarah, surely he must have it too?
          Why should I even attempt to make someone else miss out because of me?

          Thank you for your advice. I think I will tell my Brother to do tawaf with me the first time and without his friend. And the second time, In sha Allah, for him to do it with his friend - and I won't have an issue doing it on my own, in sha Allah.

        • decs: You see, there are a lot of creepy men who would stare at women whilst doing tawaf too so your concerns are valid.

          Dua123: No, I believe he is an ok guy, just has staring issues.
          I just feel awkward and very shy when I catch him looking, but I don't show that it bothers me too much - which it does! A lot.

          You need to show staring bothers you. You don't show it, so he may think you like it. You are not concerned about being stared by a lot of creepy men while doing tawaf (according to decs), your brother's friend brings an emotional reaction.

          • You're right, I probably should.

            Thank you

          • btw i think the hanafi ruling is during umrah cloth should not touch your face . so i have seen women wear a special niqab where its attatched to the top end of a cap, therefore they are veiled and at the same time , the cloth does not touch their may try that

  5. don't go with him or ask your brother that you two should go alone and yes he is not your mahram however there will be many people in makkah can see you but what you explain the waay he look at your i think you and your brother should go alone women need mahram not men

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