Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Engaged to one man, But love another


I loved somebody so so so much. But I got engaged to a person who love me so much but I have no feelings for him. My love doesn't even know that I love him. I am so heartbroken. I want to discuss it with my teacher(we have an emotional contact). But I hesitate to do so. Now I am feeling so alone and hopeless . I want someone to kill me. Is it right? will I be happy in my life again? I have an IQ of 150 and world's leading universities emailed me for free admission. I don't want to ruin it but I am so hopeless. I think I can't just do anything. What should I do now? Does God love me? If so then why this happened to me?


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3 Responses »

  1. Salam,

    Why did you say yes to getting engaged and not let anyone know that you love some other random dude? Why not ask your parents if you can marry the dude you love? What does God loving you have to do with you agreeing to marry someone else while being in love with someone else? I have so many questions for you. Like what does your IQ have to do with anything when you won't even tell people that you love someone. I'm not even sure if this is a real question cause someone with that high of an IQ would've convinced her family to marry both guys. I don't know how, because my IQ is probably not that high, but yours is, so clearly you should've been able to convince your family for at least the one guy. If not then what are you doing with that IQ? Just letting God's gift go to waste?

  2. I really hate to say this but its not possible to love someone so much without them knowing them. Its infatuation.

    A huge difference between loving someone one and being in love with someone.

    You have developed a fantasy image, your lust that he's the one, but people tend to be the opposite in some cases with a nasty surprises.

    Countless of women married the supposedly the one but it didn't turn out their fantasy dream.

    Love is a 2 way thing. If you give it a chance it's possible to love him. But why did you accept the engagement if you don't want him?

    I don't know why so many people have to throw in their iq, education etc. It doesn't mean anything.

  3. Assalaamualaykum Azoora,

    Yes, Allah does love you. Allah tests those he loves, and they become stronger for it. You will become stronger for it.

    Your situation does not sound hopeless to me (at least not to the extent that you'd want someone to "kill" you!), as you have not married him yet. Please talk to your parents and explain to them that you do not want to marry this fellow. Even if they don't approve of your actual love interest, it is unfair to this unsuspecting brother to whom you are engaged to pursue this match any longer.

    Please do not be scared to speak your truth. Inshallah things will be ok.



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