Islamic marriage advice and family advice

We crossed the line into physical intimacy. Will Allah forgive me?

repent forgive


I’m in a relationship with a guy. He says he will marry me but as of right now we both are young and our parents will not allow us to get married. This is my first time in a relationship and I am deeply in love.

I never thought I would get into such a thing but recently I had oral sex with him and rubbed our parts together without any penetration. I don’t know if that is considered Zina (please tell me if it is because so far what I've researched it's not considered Zina and I'm still considered a virgin but advise me if I'm wrong).

Immediately, I started regretting it and there hasn’t been a minute where I don’t say astaghfirullah for my actions as I thought I’d never do something like this. I’m in deep regret and I cry every day and ask for Allah to forgive me; the guy is in deep regret as well.

I’m scared I won’t be forgiven and I want to follow the right path. My heart aches for what I did and I want to be a good Muslim girl. I’m scared if this man leaves me, no one will marry me and I’m really guilty myself. I deeply want to be forgiven by Allah. Please tell me what should I do?


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10 Responses »

  1. Salaam sister
    First of all what you have done is a major sin in Islam it’s considered Zina to even look at the opposite gender let alone touch in an intimate manner. You need to ask for forgiveness for your sin and inshallah you will be forgiven if you ask with the intention to not do it again and are repenting with all your heart. Pray some nafls as well.
    Forget that guy now and believe that if it’s meant to be it will happen in the future and just focus on your studies if you are not ready for marriage yet. You are obviously still a Virgin unless penetration happened to answer your question
    If Allah has concealed your sin then let it remain concealed and so t commit further mistakes like this.
    You’re so young don’t ruin your life like this...keep your head down and study you have your whole life ahead to get married to a good guy a good Muslim instead of wasting time and sinning with people.
    You will get over him. Don’t think you’re in love because your so young.

    • The sister who already advise you gave you the best advice so please follow it keep away yourself from boys.

    • Where does it say that looking at the opposite sex is zina? Zina means sexual intercourse outside of marriage - when did looking at someone become the same as sexual intercourse? How far and astray are these wahabis (salafis) have become!

      • Abu Huraira reported Allah's Apostle as saying: “Allah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zina, which he will inevitably commit. The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, one may wish and desire, and the private parts confirm that or deny it.”

        • Exactly, so not all zina is haram (as far as I know). The ones that are inevitable (such as speaking, looking) are not at the same level as sexual acts. The Zina that is prohibited is the sexual act.

  2. Wa alaikum salaam,
    What you have described is undoubtedly haram as it amounts to sexual activity outside the bounds of halal marriage, which in all its forms is punishable under the Sharee'ah. Therefore you are required to stop doing it, acknowledge your sin to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'alaa, promise never to repeat it and ask for forgiveness with full sincerity. Alhamdulillah It seems that you have done all this with full sincerity and so can look forward to your future with optimism and confidence, provided your outlook remains changed..
    In order to help prevent yourself from falling to temptation again, it is recommended to study Islam more deeply, to better understand the limits that Allah has set, how we are required to behave and the consequences of not doing so. In particular, research and reflect upon the punishments that Allah has prepared in Jahannam for those that chose to disobey Him. Remember also that if we focus our lives on obeying Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'alaa and seeking His pleasure then great rewards await us insha'Allah. Use this hope as well as fear of Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'alaa to motivate yourself to live a good life that includes staying away from non-Mahrams until you get married.

  3. I want to address your haram relationship first and I will start of by quoting this "actions speaks louder than words". It's a principle that not many people follow. Everyone can promise you the world but only a small minority can actually deliver and this goes for your relationship. Your the first girl and certainly wont be the last to fall in this predicament. This guy probably tells you how much he loves, how much he cares for you and how he wants the world for you. But yet , you're only his "current" partner and I put this in quote because when things hit the fan or when he gets bored of you, he will replace you like there is no tomorrow. And what will happen in the end you will get heart broken , feel used and probably end up in a worse path than you were before. Then you will try fill in the void by going into another haram relation only for you to get treated even worse. So many women go through this path and struggle with being heart broken. And would most likely have to deal with it alone because your relationship is haram.

    And this is why we get married and not have temporary relationships. It's better for the mind and soul and you will be in peace. Instead of breaking up you guys would be working together to fix it. And you will both grow together. Also your relationship becomes halal and nothing to hide.

    Your walking on dangerous path to be so emotionally attached to a guy who is not even your husband. This guy if he left you tomorrow you will die on the inside. Save yourself before its too late. And this will hurt you, tell him marry me(not me , you) or leave me . And no excuse like im not ready for marriage etc. If he comes up with excuses then he was never ready to marry you and had no plans.

    Also the sins you have committed I would 100% repent if I was you because what you did was serious and also oral is so unhygienic where is your standards

  4. Bismillah Alrahman Alraheem

    It comes in authentic Hadeeth that "there is no better solution for two who are in love than marriage"

    It also comes in the Quran "Oh those who have believed do not approach zina", note that the ayah says do not even approach it. This means anything that could potentially take you down the path of zina is impermissible. It's impermissible to be chatting to a guy privately through social media, it's impermissible to stare at a guy and not lower your gaze, it's impermissible to meet with him privately. Songs that encourage zina are impermissible, one of the reasons drinking alcohol is impermissible is because it can easily lead to zina by not being fully in control of your actions when drunk. In short you need to revise your daily activities and study Islam deeper to know that which is allowed and that which can lead you down the path of shaitan.

    What you have done is very serious and it is good that you both have repented. You now need to start a new page in your life. Turn to Allah and become firm in your Iman. If you and he are both capable of becoming people who can get married and live a life of piety and raise good children then Allah will make it easy for you to marry him. If you become good and he doesn't then Allah will not let him marry you. If he becomes good and you don't then Allah will not let you marry him. In the Quran it comes regarding marriage "Pious men are for pious women as pious women are for pious men and corrupt men are for corrupt women as corrupt women are for corrupt men".

    The best thing for you to do is to forget this guy and focus on your Deen. Become someone who loves Allah and who Allah loves. If you manage to do that then you do not have to worry about anything else. Allah will let this young man marry you if he too manages to turn to Allah. If he goes astray then Allah will protect you from him and not let him marry you and you will be compensated with an even better man. If you truly love him and want to get married to him then you should pray for his hidaya and for yours too.

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