How should I tell my parents that I want to get married?
'Mother, please 'hear me out'. I'll always be your daughter, but I'm also a young adult now.'
Asalaam Alaikum
There is a boy who I work with, he is my supervisor, his sister is a very good friend of mine, and always asks for my proposal for him. I replied, and explained to her that she should come to my house and ask my parents. I havn't ever created conversation with my supervisor unless its work related.
Well now the problem is, I would really really consider, love to get married to him, his family is lovely Alhumdulilah, very much into Islam. They are just the family I would love to be married into. The problem is I am 21 and my parents think I am too young to get married, but then on the other hand I don't want this proposal to get out of hand.
I have tried to speak to my mother, but she doesnt take me serious and says I'm too young yet. Because I'm the youngest in my family, she thinks of me as a baby to her still. I still have a brother and sister before me to be married, but now I'm just upset that I don't want to lose this proposal.
Alhumdulillah I have never had a boyfriend nor commited zinna. I just need some advice, how would I be able to speak to my mother about this situation? The thing is, he is the next one to get married within his family and his sister really wants me to come into the family. Now his dad wants him to get married, or even an engagement atleast. I just need good advice, how could I tell my mother about him? What am I able to say to her, how could I convince her to atleast meet the family? I know its all in our naseeb(destiny) however, but atleast I could speak to my mother and see where it could take us?
~Maira
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Walaykumsalaam Maira,
Maasha'Allah that you wish to marry. You sound like a young woman who is strong in emaan, may this always be so insha'Allah.
What you must remember before embarking on this, is that although you are making the effort, the outcome of this matter is with Allah alone. In some families, parents are very headstrong about marrying their children in order of age. It is difficult for them to think of the youngest going first, but if they are presented with a good proposal, this may just change their mind insha'Allah.
You say that you have already tried speaking to your mother, but she does not take you seriously as she thinks you are too young. So could you speak to a trusted aunt or cousin, or your elder sister, who could in turn speak to your mother? Or, why don't you just ask your friend to ask her mother to contact your parents - and leave the matter in their hands. Or better still you could start by atleast inviting your friend to your home and let the two families become acquainted with one another. Once a family friendship has been established, the idea of you marrying into that home, may become less daunting to your parents. This way, you will also get the chance to interact with this man in a natural, homely and halaal environment, for you to see if you actually do want to proceed with marriage talks with him. What do you think?
If none of this works, then sister, see this as a test, put it to one side and keep holding tight to the rope of Allah. When your time is ready, Allah will bring you a good pure spouse who is the comfort of your eyes and heart.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaam, I just came out of a relationship as me and the girl that I am in love with thought that it is haram. I still cant get her out of my head. I really want to marry her but I have not told my parents because my parents like to get our siblings married in age order meaning the eldest sibling get married first. I wanted to know if there is a dua thst I could read to get over it or even if there is something that I can do so that I can get married with my parents consent. Please help me asap. Jzk
You did the right thing by ending your relationship. I suggest you try hard to convince your parents to let you marry. With girls there might be some logic in marrying them in order of age, but with boys it should not matter.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Asalamualaikum brother
Surah muzammil helps you get what you want....of course if the intention is good...read it after maghrib salah and make dua for yourself....inshallah somethinv might work out!
Pray to Allah thats all you can do ! Your heart is locked inside Shaytaan can hear what ur heart is saying but they can wishper to ur heart. If you pray and Read The Quran it will bring closer to Allah. Only way you can forget her is by reciting. Went through the similar situation and HamdulilAllah there is none greater than Allah. Recite and keep on reciting you will feel peace in ur heart.
Asalaamualaykum. I really like a girl and she likes me too. It has been two months of speaking and we both have decided that we would like to get married to each other. We both are 19 years old. We both want to do a nikaah now and do all the big traditional wedding stuff after uni. How do I tell my parents about her and persuade them to do my nikaah now. Jazakhallah Khair.
Take your time with it. Tell them about the girl's family before telling them about the girl. Then tell them about the girl and if she has siblings, bring them in the conversation too. Just make sure the family understands where you're going and what your intentions are. If you strongly believe this is the one girl you want to spend your life with, also try to set up a meeting with her parents too. After that meeting let her talk to your parents too.
Asalamualikum,
i have been in a relationship with a girl whom i never met till date just to keep it halal, we do speak in text only not even on call. hardly 2-3 times i spoke.
Now i wanted to marry this girl as soon as possible. i am working guy in United Arab Emirates, though my financial condition is still not so strong to marry her.
she already spoke to her parents about me and asking me to speak to my parents. as i have one elder brother and sister who is almost 33plus in age. my parents are worried about her marriage, because of this i am hesitating to speak to my family. i even does istikhara which gives me green signal to go ahead. i even asked on of the mufti who is a grand father of my friend. he said that its good for you both Allah will help you both in getting married, you people dont need anyones help. he even ask us to make sure that we are not going against our parent which i wont do at any cost.
i wanted to keep everything halal without hurting our parents, i want to get marry her with the will of Allah and our parents.
kindly suggest me how to speak to my parents or what is the best possible thing to do?
thanks
jazakallah khair
Asalamualikum,
I met a girl on Facebook and i am the one who approached her. In the beginning we hardly use to speak but past from year we are regularly in contact.
Before we were just a very good friend year ago i shared my interest in getting marry to her. since then we are in a regular contact though she says that i dont have any interest in you. you are just a good person who turned to be a good friend. despite this past from she is rejecting all the proposal which she is getting just to marry me.
Problem in my home is that i have elder sister and brother who is 32plus is yet to get marry. My parents are looking for proposal for my sister but nothing works till date though she reads prayers and dua given by family and friends.
until here her parents doesn't know about it but now they do knows about me. she said them everything that i am working in UAE and she wanted to get marry and they are waiting for me to approach her family. she is giving her best to get marry with me but i am unable to ask my parents because of my sisters marriage.
I wanted to keep everything halal since beginning, till date we haven't spoke something bad or which is unislamic because we already agreed that what we can get through halal we shouldn't make it haram.
I did istekhara and it turns to be a good, later i spoke to one of my friends grand father who is a khalifa of bahr ul uloom. He asked me a procedure (With Quran) to do with quran to find out whether Allahs will is with you to get marry with her or no. I did exactly as he said to which he replied that ALLAH's will is with you, you both will have a great future ahead. The only thing which he asked me is DO NOT GO AGAINST YOUR PARENTS. To which me and my friend already agreed that we wont hurt our parents sentiments. if they agree we will mary or else we will give up but until then we will give our best possible way to get marry in a Islamic way.
Please suggest me how to speak to my family in regards to getting marry her/ engage until my sister our brother get marry.
thanks
Jazakallah Khair