Can I still see my parents after I convert to Islam?
From my school days onwards all my friends have been Muslims and so I have always felt an interest in this religion. I started reading Quran for the past few months and I am very familiar with the prayers and all your religious activities. I truly feel that this is what am here for, but I don't want my decision to hurt my parents, since am their only child.
They fear that after my conversion they won't be allowed to see me. My very best friend is a Muslim guy and I would love to have a life with him.I have not told him this till today, because I know he sincerely believes in his religion. So my liking him will put him in trouble.
So my question is very simple. Am I allowed to see my parents and be with then even after my conversion? I won't get married so soon after my conversion.
So till the day I marry can I live with my parents..??
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Salaams,
Not only would you be able to see your parents, but Islam encourages Muslims to keep the bonds of family strong regardless of whether they believe as you do or not. You would definitely be able to stay with them until you are ready to marry; you would actually be advised to do nothing less than that. I am not sure where your parents got the idea that you would be barred from seeing them, but in actuality it is seen as sinful for a Muslim to cut ties with their family for any reason.
Insha'Allah your new faith will be a light to guide your parents to Islam as well. Enjoy your time with them and take all opportunities to learn about your new faith for your own growth as well as to educate your parents on all the wonderful changes they will soon be seeing in you!
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Islam specifically prescribes for all Muslims, born or convert/reverts, to keep good relations with your parents both before and after marriage. There are many narrations in Islamic History that fortify this viewpoint, unlike many cults that exist in this world. Keeping a loving relationship with your parents is a key to understanding their rights over you and your rights as their child, which Islam puts an emphasis on since Islam was revealed. Even if they are concerned and worried, always keep them happy and love them the best you can.
With your Muslim male you are interested in, it is not shameful to seek a marriage proposal with him, but Islamic etiquette should be followed. Ask you parents, a local Islamic religious guide or a mature and older female friend to help you through this situation.
Many people here will offer their advice, so I will leave you this message by closing and saying, "God bless you."
Salaam Tany.
Welcome to the beautiful religion of Islam!
It is not true that you cannot see your parents. So please reassure them of that. In fact the relationship a Muslim has with parents its extremely important in Islam. We must maintain ties, regardless of whether our parents are Muslim or not.
Asmaa’ bint Abu Bakr was the Prophet’s sister-in-law. She was the daughter of his closest companion and the sister of Aisha, his wife. Her mother, however, did not become a Muslim for quite a long time.Asmaa’ states: “My mother came to me during the time of the Prophet (Pbuh), hoping to get something from me. I asked the Prophet (Pbuh) whether I should be kind to her. He answered: “Yes,” (Related by Al-Bukhari, Muslim and others).
Please read this link it gives more details:
http://islamicvoice.com/october.98/hadith.htm
The rights of parents on their children are immense in the sight of Allah (subhana wa ta’ala). Even non-Muslim parents have the right to be treated kindly by their Muslim children. It is only their demands of disobedience to Allah’s commands that must be repulsed. Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) says: “[Revere your parents;] yet should they endeavour to make you ascribe divinity, side by side with Me, to something which your mind cannot accept [as divine], obey them not; but [even then] bear them company in this world’s life with kindness, and follow the path of those who turn towards Me. In the end, unto Me you all must return; and thereupon I shall make you [truly] understand all that you were doing [in life].” [Quran 31:15]
So as long as your parents respect your decision to turn to Islam, you can see them and you must treat them kindly. The relationship between parent and child is not broken by faith barriers. If they try to turn you away from Islam or encourage you to sin, do not obey them - but still treat them with kindness. You can continue living with your parents, provided it does not negatively affect your Islam. Will be kind enough to make provisions for you and accept your change in lifestyle.
So reassure your parents that you still are the same person and you love them. OK so you won't drink or eat pork/non halal meat and InshaAllah you will pray 5x a day but you still are the same person. Only better.
I met one lady in a store one day when I was with my mother. This lady was a midwife who delivered me as a baby 20 years ago. She has two sons around my age. We were talking to her and she told us her two sons converted to Islam. This lady was not Muslim. But she was saying despite all the negative comments from friends, she felt closer to her sons since they converted. They began to show her utmost respect. They were sensible, no longer got drunk or smoked. Looked after their health and were good to all the family. They were hardworking young boys. Islam had changed them and she loved it. At the time when I saw her she was beginning to consider Islam. Alhumdulilah.
Another sister I know also converted to Islam. And since then Alhumdulilah her relationship with her mother has also improved. Her mother is very tolerant and accepting of Islam Alhumdulilah. Her mother now believes that God probably exists, something she didnt believe at all before.
So provided your parents understand and accept the differences, it could actually positively impact your relationship InshaAllah. Be the shining beacon of a good Muslimah and InshaAllah they will also be inclined to Islam. So visit them regularly, help them, if you are concerned about food, why not cook something halal and tasty for them if you can. It works every time. 🙂
If you need any advice or support dear sister please write on this wall.
May Allah swt grant you and your parents happiness, guidance and a place in Paradise.
Ameen
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
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Your parents have the wrong idea about Islam. Islam is not some cult that tries to cut people off from their families. This is the religion of all the Prophets; the religion that Allah has chosen for humanity. We consider family ties to be precious and in fact it is considered a major sin to cut family ties.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Tie bonds is a must in Islam. You will go to Jahannam if you disrespect your parents even if they are Kuffurs. But maybe, I suggest don't live with thm. Your parents might cook something that is forbidden to eat for you.