Forced arranged marriage
Asaalama alaikom brothers and sisters.
I am a Muslim male. I live with my mother and family who are not Muslim. My father is Muslim.
I used to lead a thug life. If that's what you want to call it. But I have been trying to change my ways and become more religious.
When I saw her I knew she was different from them all. She's not interested in the things a normal 19 year old would be interested it. We started talking, sometimes. I was trying to get to know her a little.
We started talking and we started to get to know each other. I told her I was looking to get married and I do not want a relationship, she agreed with me and also told me the same. I've been trying to change my ways as my past relationships always ended up in heartache as they all started in a haram way. I did not want it to be like this with her, but it kind of turned into a relationship as we did things we shouldn't have - because we felt too comfortable with each other.
I have the most respect for her. But I suffer in silence in so many ways. My life is so stressful. I feel isolated from everyone and everything as I have been let down so many times by the closest ones to me. Myself and her spoke about getting married and we planned to get engaged soon inshaa allah. I felt so comfortable with this idea. Things started to get complicated.
My father called me and told me if I do not get good grades and if I do don't fix myself I will have to marry my cousin from back home.
I am so depressed. I don't know what to do. My intentions with her are pure, I felt so comfortable with the idea of getting married to her - as we both planned it. I have no one to turn to. I feel confused about everything.
It took time but when I saw her I told her. But things already happened, a relationship was formed. It was not supposed to be like this.
Everything is so confusing. I do not know what to do.
Please help me,
.......
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salaam
my dear brother just marry the girl you will have a family of your own that will love you more then you can believe and just because your parents may be do not show they love you they do its just the way you put it across to yourself just get your parent(s) blessing or let them know of this girl speak to her family and marry her
sorry if bits of don't make sense but i am rushing it
allah hafiz
Salaamu alaykulm brother Samiaa I am a Muslim sister who is now alhamdollilah a revert to islam now for the also two years and inchallah forevermore in the hereafter. My family is 95% Christian who I reside with my father who is Christian, step mum and brother all Christians I am a good practicing Muslim I am going to get married inchallah very soon to the man I love. My mum accepts it who is a Muslim revert now for the last 16 or so years Mashallah. My father doesn't accept me being Muslim and doesn't accept my marriage to a muslim he does t accept I wear a Hijab and doesn't accept many things on most days I visit my mum just to make sure I eat halal in my house. Anyway to the point whether my father likes it or not I am getting married to the man I love and care about and will make Dua for my whole family to accept it inchallah. I was married before as a Christian and then divorced and changed to islam I have a almost five year old daughter who doesn't live with me because I simply can't afford it right now I have to work and try to survive first myself one day inchallah I will get her back after my marriage and I buy a house of my own with my new husband. I want to tell you something from my experience that once parents see their newborn grandchildren they soften up and accept because it will bring the, great happiness inchallah. You will see for yourself inchallah - and for the mean time I make Dua for your marriage and inchallah ask Allah to give you the best I do so however advise you do Pray the Istikhara as Allah is always ready waiting to give all the answers to us inchallah that is how I got about lost of my days when I was alone and needed guidance when my family wouldn't talk to me and so forth living basically very poorly but alhamdollilah the brothers and sisters in the mosque helped me in my needs. I pray for you and make Dua that you make the right decision inchallah and look after yourself and marry the girl of your dreams inchallah because you seriously deserve nothing less than to be happy and follow your deen inchallah. I was in my first marriage very miserable in a loveless abusive marriage and it was horrible I wouldn't recommend to marry for the sake of marrying but rather for what Allah says "Love and Mercy".
Salaams Brother,
All you need to do is work hard at getting good grades. Maybe your dad is just saying that to push you into working hard. I would NOT recommend marrying your cousin. These types of arrangements never really work and you will be filled with a lifetime of unhappiness, as will the cousin.
Do not despair. Everybody makes mistakes and does wrong but while you still live and breathe spend your time wisely and you need to work on yourself first. Prayer is the only remedy and it will help you get on the right track. You have to be patient too and as Allah tells us, 'Verily with hardship comes ease'.
Remember Allah, and HE will remember you. Allah loves you and will love you more if you turn to Him in repentance. You need to mature a bit before considering marriage as it is a big commitment. Learn of the requirements of a husband; this website has lots of advice. However you must not, in your words 'get too comfortable' with the girl as it is not allowed to have any form of re-marital relations.
All the best, Insha'Allah
HI brother
What I would do is just stay with the girl your with, focus on school and become successful in life. Till then get married but have get engaged to the girl you want, and the cousin dont even do that. Dont let your famly control who you want to marry because youll never be happy, just tell them in a calm normal way. If they get upset just tell them theres nothing you can do to change this I am going to better myself.
As for you changing your ways that just shows your a GREAT PERSON, in my book if one sins and regrets and wants to change their ways that just shows how good they are. You are changing and your a good person inshallah everything will work out. Allah will guide you the right path as long as you call upon him, he is guiding you now since you wanna change. So dont worry about the past, your changing for the better and being a new person which is wonderful hamdallah. So focus on school, do well, and marry that girl you want. Inshallah youll live the best life, hope everything works out inshallah. No matter how hard it gets just smile and say to yourself your working on it your getting there!:)