Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I’ve lost my best friend

Best friends necklace

Asslaam Alaykum,

I think I need your help. I've lost my best friend and I miss
him very much.
I cannot live without him. I lost him because we experienced
problems and has been gone a year now. I cannot live without
him, can not get him out of my thoughts.

I need your help : ( How can I get him back ..?: '(:' (.
It is a very serious matter for me ..: (
Please please help me.. 🙁

- Nayaab

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4 Responses »

  1. Asalaamualaykum Nayaab,

    It is very difficult to lose someone whom we have become very close to emotionally and more so when we have parted on bad terms. It is natural to miss the person too and also to feel sad at times. You have not given much detail, so it is difficult to be specific, but from what you have written here, your feelings for your friend seem to be extremely unhealthy. You say that you cannot live without your friend, but clearly you are living without your friend - alhumdulillah. To say we cannot live without 'so and so' is emotional jibberish and irrational nonsense. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it is the truth.

    If I am correct in assuming that you are female and your friend male, I must remind you that as Muslims, it is not permitted for us to form close relationships/friendships with those of the opposite sex (those who are non mahram to us). If you are also male and you are feeling such strong and unhealthy feelings for your male friend, this is completely wrong too. If you have wronged your friend, apologise to him and leave it at that. If you cannot, then ask Allah to forgive you.

    Nayaab, our purpose on earth is to worship Allah and to strive towards whatever takes us closer to Allah and to strive to stay away from whatever takes us away from Allah. Be constant in your repentance to Allah and seek comfort in Him(swt). If your friend has left your life, rest assured that this is how it was meant to be.

    Ibn Abbas (ra) said: One day, I was riding behind the Prophet (PBUH) when he said, "O boy! I will instruct you in some matters. Be watchful of Allah (Commandments of Allah), He will preserve you. Safeguard His Rights, He will be ever with you. If you beg, beg of Him Alone; and if you need assistance, supplicate to Allah Alone for help. And remember that if all the people gather to benefit you, they will not be able to benefit you except that which Allah had foreordained (for you); and if all of them gather to do harm to you, they will not be able to afflict you with anything other than that which Allah had pre-destined against you.The pens have been lifted and the ink has dried up".

    Another narration is: Messenger of Allah (saw) said, "Safeguard the Commandments of Allah, you will find Him before you. Remember Him in prosperity and He will remember you in adversity. Be sure that which you miss, was not to hit you; and what hits you, was never to miss you. Remember that the Help of Allah is obtained with patience, and relief emerges after distress, prosperity follows adversity, and hardship is followed by ease".

    So, seek comfort in this, know that what has left you was never meant to be for you. If you love this friend, then make dua for Allah to grant him with the good of this life and the next and ask Allah to forgive him if he ever wronged you. This is the greatest gift you can give your friend.

    Furthermore, the Prophet(saw) said: “The case of a believer is wonderful; there is good for him in everything and this characteristic is exclusively for him alone. If he experiences some thing pleasant, he is grateful to Allah and that is good for him, and if he comes across some adversity, he is patient and submissive and that for is good for him.” (Sahih Muslim)


    I do not want to belittle what you are feeling, but sometimes when we are feeling upset, we tend to hide ourselves away in a cucoon. We start to lose sight of the bigger picture around us and all we see is our narrow tunnelled vision of 'I', 'myself' and 'me'. We forget that there are millions of people around the world who are living in difficult conditions and are suffering. People in Palestine are dying at the hands of israeli oppression, children are being deprived of their parents and parents of their children, husbands without wives, wives without husbands, friends are losing friends. Closer to home, people have been imprisoned without ever being charged for anything - under the prevention of terrorism act, they have been separated from their families for years. And just two days ago, a dear friend of mine lost her young 6 year old cousin through medical negligence. All these people are feeling immense pain, but they are still living and not only surviving but still striving in the path of Allah.

    So Nayaab, try to step out of the cucoon you have shelled yourself inside and realise that you are blessed in many ways and be grateful to Allah that you have not been inflicted as these people have.


    I love the following duas and trust you will find them helpful too inshaAllah:

    "Oh Allah, grant me Your love and the love of one who loves You, and the love of that which will draw me near to Your Love and make Your Love more dear to me than cool water." (Bukhari) (similar dua in Tirmidhi)

    " O Controller of the Hearts! Keep my heart steadfast upon Your Deen "

    "O Allah! I ask for a mercy from You by which You will guide my heart, settle my affairs, remove my worries, protect me from what is unseen to me, make my face radiant, purify my deeds, inspire me with wisdom, avert calamities from me, and protect me from every evil. "

    May Allah give you sabr, shifa, ease your pain and make your heart turn towards that which will benefit you and away from that which will not, aameen!

    SisterZ Editor

    • Thanks a million..May Allah bless you..i just loved the duas u have posted esp the last one..n everything u have written has a meaning in it..thanks

    • This has got to be one of the best responses I have encountered in my life so far, masha' Allah! Such precision and eloquence- all at once. I myself have been dealing with a friendship loss and have been having a very difficult time moving on from it- to which I would say it was my fault as to why the friendship did not work out. Your post gave me that boost I needed to move forward in forgiving my past friend from any wrongdoings inflicted towards me and forgiving myself along the way as well. Jazakallah sister. May Allah reward you tremendously for your genuine effort in this response and for every person that has read & benefited from your response. Ameen! ❤

  2. MashAllah, May Allah Reward You Immensely For This, (Ameen)


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