Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is my marriage valid?


I have been  a Muslim for 4 years. My first marriage failed. I was proposed to  again by a man but we had a  nikah which I think fulfils Islamic Shariah : 2 witness, bride , bridegroom and a religious man to do perform the nikah ( even though he is not a qaadee). Our marriage is not legally registered and my family never knew that I am married to avoid problems because all my family members are non muslims.

Me and my husband are also not living together and we only meet if there any necessities. my questions is:

1. Is my marriage is valid? because there are different mazhab views regarding the validity of a marriage.

Thank you

- Rafah

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13 Responses »

  1. Rafah, we are not muftis or scholars. You need to meet with a scholar and explain to him all the details of your marriage. Keep in mind that the default position is that your marriage is valid. For it to be considered invalid, it must be proved that a key required element was missing.

    Wael Editor

  2. AA;

    From what you said:
    1) No one know you are married. From what I know, in Islam, when u get married you need to make it known.
    2) Not living together but you meet for necessities. Are you talking physical necessities?

    I agree with Wael that you need to meet a mufti or scholar but also, u need to really think about this marriage? is it a real marriage? is it fulfilling the marriage quest other than the physical needs? Marriage is family and responsibilities, not meet for coffee, dinner, or what ever and then go your separate ways.


  3. Sister,it depends on which madhab you follow. If you are from Ahnaaf(hanafi) then your marriage is valid,because there was two witnesses.(Bear in mind,it had to be two male witnesses or 1 male and 2 females.) Infact,even if he had told you in front of a group of people(2/more) : "Are you my wife? ",and you had smiled/said yes then you would be married.
    According to the Shafi'i madhab,marriage is not valid without a wali. In that case the marriage would not be valid.

  4. You have no right to judge who is Muslim and who is not. And from the information she has given us there is no evidence of her not being a Muslim. And she has not written where her husband is from therefore you saying "finding a pious Muslim girl in Sri Lanka" is confusing. And in Islam you can many anyone from any race if they are a Muslim or the people of the book (for men only). I am kindly telling you to educate yourself on this matter because we should not just blurt out what we know/feel without knowing the sources unless it is universally known such as no racism being in Islam.

  5. AA;

    Let us keep in mind that there are so many issues and many men do not marry for the sake of marriage or the intent of having a family!

    It is not just bring two of my friends, ask a lady to marry me, she accept, we have sex like rabbits, then i divorce her with two witnesses (not sure if that is even needed), then she wait for the Idda (I think 100 days? not sure!) and then she marries another, and i go ahead and do the same with another lady.

    Marriage is more than this, it is more respected and more pure to be dealt with as such. That's why you have to let be known, document it with the city, living together, make a family, etc etc etc. And ALLAH knows best.

    If I was correct, it is from Allah. If I made a mistake it is from me and I apologize and pray to Allah to forgive me my ignorance.

    May Allah grant you wisdom and guide you to the best path.


  6. Lol, Just a Man.

    Thats a very crude way of putting it,but true nevertheless. The sister asked about the legality though. By the way... You dont need witnesses for a divorce and Iddah is 3 Haidh periods or 3 clean periods depending on her madhab. And if she no longer has haidh it is 4months and 10 days. And if he dies,its also four months and 10 days.

  7. HARSH

  8. Salam
    My question is that i had done secret marriage.then after some time my husband gave me divorce.this was all secret no body knows except us then after some time my parents select the same man for me and he also wats to marry me again in front of walis and i cannot tell my parents that we were married before too and finished parents saud that this is there final pls tell what should i do now??

  9. Zawaj, you have used my wedding picture above without my permission. Take it down or I will take legal actions against you.

  10. Thank you. You shouldn't have used the photo in the first place. It is not your photo. If you wish, you could have used your own. It was not meant as a threat. You may want to reconsider using photos without permission in your website next time. Just pay for professional photographs or just ask for permission to use. Some are not comfortable having their photos displayed in public.

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