Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Someone please help us marry Islamically


Salam Aleikoum

I am a convert Muslim and found a born Muslim to marry. One problem is that he is married in another country which is fine with me, except we can not obtain a marriage license thus the mosques will not marry us. This is a big problem because Islamically we are allowed to marry but legally we are not.

We found ourselves alone, well with Shaitan as a 3rd party of course and I fell pregnant. We have repented to Allah and are staying away from each other, but still desperately want to marry each other and raise our baby in a proper Muslim family. We have tried so hard to find a mosque to marry us but no one will do it without the marriage license which we can not get because he would have to divorce and not be able to bring his daughters here.

Is there a scholar in the Bay Area who is willing to marry us? We just want to live a good Islamic life and raise our baby with a Muslim family. I am now due in 2 weeks and am so so so sad and desperate to just be married under Allah's way.

Please will someone marry us? We are located in San Francisco. We just want a second chance please someone help us!


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9 Responses »

  1. Muslima107, Walaykumsalaam,

    May Allah forgive you for falling into zina, aameen. The man whom you wish to marry has not only committed zina, but adultery too sister, he has cheated on his wife - do you really think this man is good marriage material (i.e. trustworthy, loyal)? Alhumdulillah, you are desperate to legalise your relationship for the sake of Allah, but have you considered all aspects? If you eventually manage to get married, will your husband publicize your marriage to his family? Many a time, men marry another woman in secret and so many problems occur later.

    This man has sinned greatly and broken his wife's trust greatly too. However, I will assume that this man is genuine and has also repented sincerely and is willing to fulfil his duty towards both you and his current wife equally. Polygamy is considered an offence in the USA, despite this some sections of society do practice Polygamy: mainly Mormons and some Muslims too. I think it would be best for you to speak to a Lawyer to find out if it is legal for you to have just a 'Nikah/Islamic Marriage'. If this is the case, you will easily be able to find an Imam who will marry you. However, by being in a polygamous relationship you and any children you have with this man may not be entitled to many legal rights.

    Another option is, although a drastic one is that you may want to consider moving to a country which does allow Polygamy, so you and this man can easily married without any problem.

    SisterZ Editor

    • I agree with sisterz last paragraph.! It may be a very good option.. Check it out if you can arrange going to another country with him and get your nikah marriage done.. Then you can come back to the USA and continue leaving together.. You Know, polygamy has a condition in islam, and the only condition is the husband must deal justly btw the wives.., Otherwise it would be a great burden for him on judgement day.. I dont think he would be doing justice to the 1st wife if he abandon her abroad and continue leaving with you.. He must be able to shear his time equally to both of you.. And for this reason, i suggest he should work a visa for his wife to come to the USA and maybe keep her in a different city from where you leave. . Or maybe he spend 3 month you in the uSA and go back abroad and spend similar time with the 1st wife... Either way, he must maintain justice btw the wives.

  2. You both need to make serious oppology to Allah. because commited Zina. and Zaani ( doer of zina) , will not be forgiven untill he/she makes a serious oppology to Allah .Because Its one of a very major sin.
    You both must do Nikah ASAP. this is the only option left.
    you r highly recommended to go to an authentic Mufti.

  3. Well , I don't know where to start but a guy I know and love purposed to my mother (remainder of the question deleted by the Editor)

  4. Aslam Alaikum To All
    first of all I have do not any experience but I can admonish that believe in mankind. firstly be real being human then you will called real muslim. make your. conscience best for mankind . and islam does not give the for polytheism

  5. Why do you want to marry such a person who is always married, though as per islam you a free to marry, but here question is why he will divorce his wife, since as per Islam he can keep both wives.
    Also he has daughter from first marriage, what will be her future, if he divorces his wife.

    Think about it, by marry you in second marriage, he had to divorce his wife not because of Islam but the law of land. In doing so, the life of wife, daughter & husband will spoil, what is garuntee he will prove to be same husband you wished of.

    That is why Islam gives priority to first marriage of both husband & wife, but not compulsory. I suggest you to find someone who is unmarried or pre divorced.

    SRINAGAR Kashmir

  6. You have to respect the laws of the country you live in or move to somewhere else where you can live the kind of life you want to have. Simple as that. It's such a big misconception among Muslims living in secular countries that we don't have to follow the same rules as everybody else in our society is. Polygamy is not a duty or even an ultimate right of a Muslim, so you can't use Islam to worm your way around getting illegally married in a country where polygamy is clearly forbidden. If you really are as desperate as you claim, then perhaps considering moving to your married lover's home country is the option for you. Although, be sure you're not moving to a place where you and your lover will risk the death sentence for having committed adultery.

    Also, it's not Sheytan that made you sleep with a married man, it was your own bad choice. Own it. Take responsibility for it.

  7. Hi just wondering how you went with this? I am in similar situation

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