Did we sin by marrying despite my in laws’ disapproval?
Assalamu alaikum,
My husband and I met ten years ago in high school. We were just classmates and found that we had a lot in common. To keep this to the point, we both are/were religious and never did anything that was haram. He expressed his wish to marry me, but his parents did not approve, since I am not from the same country as they are.
My husband and I were both born in the USA so we understand that Islamically this is permitted and culture does not matter. I know it is haram to cut off ties with family, but my in laws refuse to accept me as their daughter in law, and are upset with their son for going against them. Have we sinned? I know we are to obey parents, but in matters of deen, such as marriage, obedience to Allah comes first.
I could not imagine myself marrying a man better than him, and he could not imagine life with another woman.
Please assist. Jazak Allah Khair.
AlwaysWorried
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Asalamualikum AlwaysWorried,
Surely it is no sin to do some deed to protect you from forthcoming sins. But your husband has to be very kind to his parents and should take care them as he used to. He shall be asked on the day of Judgement so he must fear to keep a very starking balance among being son and being husband. And what you can do is to be helpful to your husband and should be easy on him when he is doing something more for his parents because ofcourse they are at more tender age than any of you two.
May Allah grant you both with more wisdom and courage to lead a healthy relationship with each other and with your In-laws. Ameen
As salamu alaykum AlwaysWorried,
They will have to accept you sooner or later, you are their family now, even when they don´t want, it is a fact, you are already married to his son.
As Sana said, support your husband to do his best as son to his parents, be loving, caring and respectful, doesn´t matter how they behave, you will have to answer for yourself then do your best to be for all of them, insha´Allah.
Have all the Patience you are able to, you have gone against the current (cultural issues) but you have followed the Straight Path, you have the right to choose your spouse, I believe they just wanted him to do what they learnt from their parents, they will need time to adjust and lots of unconditional love to assume his son is an independant, responsible, grown up human being able to make his own decisions.
Allah(swt) knows best.
My congratulations for your marriage.
All my Unconditional Love and Respect,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor