Is any form of sexual activity the same as committing zinaa?
Allah(swt) says in the Glorious Quran in Surah Al Isra, Verse 32: "And come not NEAR to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a faahishah (a great sin) and an evil way."
I am currently in a relationship of 1 and a half years and although I am still a virgin I have been sexual with my partner and more than kissing etc. I have slept in the same bed with him and also been sexual in other ways.
This worries me and I have heard that being sexual, even if it does not result into intercourse, is just as sinful as zinaa. Can somebody please clear this up for me?
-aminaa
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Salaam Aminaa.
Here is a link you may find useful before you read the comment below:
http://islamqa.info/en/ref/27259
In answer to your question. Yes any form of sexual activity is zina and are extremely sinful. There are forms of zina - the most of which is full sexual intercourse.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zina, which he will inevitably commit. The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, one may wish and desire, and the private parts confirm that or deny it.”
A relationship void of touching and kissing is also sinful if the couple are talking together alone. (e.g. emotional relationship)
"The Prophet SAW said it is better for a man to have a steel nail driven through his head then to touch the palm of a strange woman."
It was narrated on Malik bin Yassir that Rasool Allah said that it is better for a Believer to be struck in the head with a hot iron rod than to touch a woman who is not lawful for him.[Tabarani & Baihaqqi]
Sister if the sin of touching a mans hand is worse than the pain of having a steel nail driven through the head then can you imagine the sin of even hugging and kissing let alone sexual contact. I urge you to fear Allah swt. You never know when he could take any one of us. May Allah save us all from being taken while indulging in a sin.
Allah swt is the Most Merciful and He can forgive you if you stop your sin and turn to Him in repentance.
The word tawbah (repentance) is a great word with deep meaning. It is not, as many people think, merely words to be uttered whilst persisting in sin. Think about what Allaah says:
“Seek the forgiveness of your Lord, and turn to Him in repentance”
[Hood 11:3 – interpretation of the meaning]
You will see that repentance is something more than seeking forgiveness.
Because this is a serious matter, there have to be conditions attached. The scholars mentioned the conditions of repentance, based on aayahs from the Qur’aan and ahaadeeth. There follows a list of some of them:
1 – Giving up the sin immediately.
2 – Regretting what has happened in the past.
3 – Resolving not to go back to it.
4 – Making amends to those whom you have wronged, or asking for their forgiveness.
You should not forget other important matters connected to sincere repentance, such as:
1 – You should give up the sin for the sake of Allaah and not for any other reason such as not being able to do it or repeat it, or being afraid of what people will say, for example.
So stop this haraam relationship with your boyfriend. Do not meet him alone and avoid any unecessary contact with him including talking and meeting. I know this is easier said than done but ask yourself is this worth risking your aakhirah over? If you genuinely want to marry this guy then ask him to approach your parents and ask for your hand in marriage.
While unmarried avoid any contact. Even loving words are zina of the tongue.
I know you will probably say but I love him. Again dear sister - think of your aakhirah. Or you may say:
"I am not ready to marry him or my/his parents will never agree or we are still young."
The truth is if there is a will there is a way. If Allah wills you two to be together in a way which is halal (marriage) then He will ordain it. And many couples who have been sincere about one another have gone to great lengths to marry the person of their choice. And even strict parents can often be persuaded eventually after effort.
If there is 100% no way either parents will agree and you love each other then why are you together? In this case you have no future and will end splitting anyway - may as well do it sooner for the sake of Allah rather than waiting getting more attached and getting your heart even more broken.
Young couples who cannot yet live together can still do nikah (islamic marriage ceremony) if necessary so there is nothing to stop them from doing nikah and moving in together in a year or two. This way the couple could be married without having to worry about finances, house and big weddings etc (have the big wedding later on if you must..)
So there are options ... Allah swt has not made things difficult for us Islamically. Its only mankind and culture that makes things dificult for ourselves.
Either way: stop the sin, make tawbah and either marry this guy or leave him.
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Sister Sara has rightly said Jazaki` allahu khairan
Adding to her STOP THAT ACT IMMEDIATELY CUT THE ROOTS WHICH WILL LEAD YOU TO COMMIT SIN IMMEDIATELY WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT.
Assalam oalykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu
Sister Sara is right. Aside from the sin you are currently committing, if you continue as you are you will inevitably end up committing illegal intercourse.
You only have to take a look at some of the posts on this website from other women who have been in your situation, to see the disaster that can result from continuing this behavior.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salamat my sister Aminaa,
Sister Sara mashallah has done a lovely job answering your post and you should try take in as much of her advice that she has backed up for you with references. I know when you read advice from a person it sometimes can be a bit overwhelming but sister try take it only with a pinch of salt as we are genuinely people that care for our sisters in Islam.
Sister, non of us our perfect and we never will be, we are born as humans with defects as Allah swt has created us this way, and the creator knows the sons of Adam will commit sins and make mistakes as he is the creator of us but that is way Allah swt has told us to ask repentance from him. In fact Allah swt loves it when we go back to him and ask for his forgiveness and mercy from our evil sins; he loves his believing slave to come back to worship Allah swt alone and ask for his help. People are far from perfect and one day may let you down but Allah swt never will, he will always have mercy on us if we approach him with a sincere heart and stay away from all forms of shirk. A believer who sees their smallest sins as a mountain and worries about the smallest of them will be successful inshallah as we never really know how many good deeds we have compared to our bad sins. How do we truly know the good deeds that we do are actually accepted? as we may not have purely done it with good intentions or we discussed our good deeds with others this takes away from the aim of doing it purely for Allah swt and that is a scary thought to think off - that even some good deeds are not counted so imagine the bad sins and punishments for them. This is why we should always keep our sins to ourselves and even our good deeds. Allah knows best and may he be accepting of all our ummah's good deeds and keep us away from the path that leads us to the hellfire and accept all our duaa's and help us be closer to him. Sister Aminaa, remember that Allah swt says we may love something that is bad for us and hate something that is good for us and I will be the first to advice you as I have stopped specking to the guy that I want to marry regardless of all our barriers with family and so fourth and I know your thinking your situation is different and you can't let go but you are stronger than you think because we all can do whatever we want once we want to seek Allah's pleasure and obey his rules that he has put to protect us who knows better of what we know not than the one whom created us? there are so many barriers for men to even speck to us as a woman is like a pearl for him to reach her he should seek Allah swt first, speck to her family first rather than communicating with her in a forbidden relationship and go through her father and mother to ask for her hand and not be alone with her until nikkah. Subhanallah sister do you see how much Allah swt loves us that he has made it so difficult for a guy to even approach us unless it is done by halal means in the eyes of Allah and family? Allah knows best my dear sister Aminaa please listen to a sister who has gone through your experiences and is advising you that this is the best way for your akhiraah and dunya, every good thing you do will never go unnoticed and you will rewarded with it and bad sins will come back one day in the dunya and the akhiraah so don’t wait for things to go sour and turn to Allah in repentance and the most important of all put your trust in him! He will help you in the way that will keep you close to him no matter what the outcome. This advice is for myself before anyone else, but its never too late to do things right and the halal way, we all have barriers and I too find it difficult now I have cut contact and seeing him but subhanallah sister trust me I have never made so much progress than the whole 7 years I have known him. Put your trust in Allah and Allah alone! I feel happier that I have stopped something which Allah forbidden me and the pleasure of pleasing your lord is so amazing and then you start to improve your whole-self as you fight your desires then start to improve other aspects of our lives. Allah make my intentions pure and guide you and all of our sisters and brothers in Islam.
Be grateful to Allah that nothing worse has happened and stop your bad sins now before they lead you into something much more bigger and detrimental. Allah is great, Allah is Raheem please never forget him because can you imagine if he forgets us on the day of judgement? Allah hu agbar, who will help us if our creator of the heavens and earth and all that exists has forgotten us? Allah keep us close to him and guided, if we turn to Allah he will come running to you. Allah loves us and is merciful on us more so than our own mothers, he does not want to through us in the hellfire more so than our mothers. Can you imagine your mother throwing you intor the hellfire? Now imagine Allah the a’laa, al raheem al rahman al mutakabir. Allah guide us all, keep strong sister and you will be in my duaas inshallah may Allah make everything easier for you and if this is man is good for you for the akhirah, in your deen and dunya than there will be no-one who sill stop him being your husband if it is written but if he is not then Allah knows best and we need to trust him.
If I have said anything wrong in this post then may Allah forgive me and help me correct myself.
Salamat dear sister,
Your sister R xxx
Aminaa_patel,
You have been given good advice here, so there is little left for me to say, but this: 'take the advice before death overcomes you'.
Allah(swt) says in the Glorious Quran in Surah Al Isra, Verse 32: "And come not NEAR to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a faahishah (a great sin) and an evil way."
Please read our articles on zina:
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/the-sin-of-fornication-and-adultery/
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/the-sin-of-fornication-and-adultery/the-sin-of-adultery-and-fornication-part-2/
http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/the-sin-of-fornication-and-adultery/the-sin-of-adultery-and-fornication-part-3/
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor