How soon can I get married after giving birth?
I was dating a Man who had been Muslim for several years when I got pregnant in late- August.
On December 12th I took shahada knowing I was pregnant and that the father would not marry me. The baby's father is now out of the picture. Another Man- a new Muslim like myself has asked about marring me.
We do not understand the rules on this and have been getting many different answers. Some saying I must wait until the baby is born and after the postpartum discharge has cleared (the 40 days), and other saying I can marry now because I was not Muslim when the child was conceived.
Does anyone know where the answer to this question can be found?
~81Amatullah
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Dear Sister,
Congratulations on accepting Islam. May Allah make this path easy for you.
You can get married right away, there is no need to wait any longer. In a case when a woman is married and her husband divorces her, she has to go through a three month waiting period, known as Iddah. After this time lapses, she is fully divorced and is free to re-marry. But in the case where a woman is pregnant, her 'waiting period' finishes as soon as she has given birth and she can marry immediately after. So, judging from this, my understanding is that you can marry straight away.
Please approach a qualified Imam to act as your Wali so he can talk you through 'nikah contract'. He will also either confirm or correct my understanding of this matter. May you both live a halaal and righteous life together insha'Allah.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
You can marry once the baby has been born, and the child must also be read the azaan upon birth.
Apologies,
I mis-read your post. I just re-read it and realised that your baby is most probably not born yet.
Athough, please consult with an Imam, as I do not the rulings on your specfic case, as you do not fit into either of the following categories:
- For a divorced woman who was married when she conceived, she can re-marry as soon as she delivers her baby;
- For a woman who conceived out of wedlock, she has fornicated. The man who has fathered her baby is also a fornicator and the two can marry immediately, during the pregnancy.
- But your case, is slightly different, in that you conceived out of wedlock and want to marry a man other than the father of the child.
Insha'Allah you will consult with an Imam.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Alsalam Alikom;
Congratulations for your shahadah 🙂 May Allah guide you, bless you, and shower you with his mercy and love and make people like you and made your life easy inshallah 🙂
I think best thing it to actually sit with an Imam so he can best clarify things for you.
Now as a person who just accepted Islam, the second you became a Muslim, all your sins are forgiven inshallah. You are back with a clean slate 🙂 The fact that you conceived out of wedlock and want to marry a man other than the father of the child OK and from what I know:
1) You can get married at any point.
2) There is no adoption in Islam, so the new husband can not have him to be his son. He can raise him, care for him, and inshallah he will get alot of hasanat for that, just you can not adopt him.
3) You can not consummate your marriage (the physical part) till after the 40 days after the baby is born inshallah.
Again, please consult with Imam from mosque, or if there is an Islamic center near by, etc. It is better to sit with someone and talk in length about these issues. I am not trying to discourage you, but I would liek you to have th ebest answer and guidance inshallah 🙂
If you are not aware of centers or mosques or people to ask in your area, please let us know what area you live in, and inshallah someone from here can direct you.
Welcome to Islam, and inshallah we are al here to help you 🙂
Alsalam Alikom
Just a man,
When the woman can marry, is not dependant on her becoming Muslim and having her sins forgiven, it is about her pregnancy.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
AA;
Correct. But usually the rules and regulations with pregnant women who are divorced or widowed take place to preserve rights, shares (in case of a will), ancestry, and such. Since this pregnancy happened before her becoming a Muslim, out of wedlock, and no relation with that man now, how can you apply the rules and regulations of Islam? That's what I meant by now she is a Muslim and she has a clean slate and there are no conditions for the wait. Pregnant or not does not make a difference. In other words, what is the waiting period for at this point? She is not a divorcee or a widow.
But as I was writing this, I re-read the post and realized her ex was a Muslim. And now she is too. To be honest with you, I am not sure how this should work out now. But I think as I mentioned before she just became a Muslim, square one, starting to live her life as a Muslim.
Again, it would be best (as SisterZ and myself mentioned before) to sit with an Imam or Mufti to get the best Halal answer inshallah.
May ALLAH guide us, grant us patience, and shower us with his mercy.
If I am correct, it is from ALLAH. If I err it is from me, and I pray ALLAH forgives me. Allah knows best.
AA
P.S.
This response was meant to clarify my post to SisterZ comments and not to start an argument. Jazakom Allah Khair.
I am also in a situation, that one being...
I gave birth to my son Salah 4 months ago. His father is a muslim and I am planning on doing my shahada, we want to get married as soon as possible so we can get on with our lives and not have to worry about anything .
The question is can we marry straight away? We have been to many imams and they all have different answers such as;
You may not live together, He may not eat the food I cook or see each other for 3 months.
We may marry straight away unless we have had any sexual relations in the past 40 days (which we haven't.. Since I was 5/6 months pregnant, sorry for the details!)
We were planning on having our Nikah this Saturday but just now my husband came in after speaking to a friend and said we have to cancel.
If someone reads this post I would be very grateful fo some clear answers.
Thank you very much,
Bianca
Bianca,
The sooner you marry him the better. There are no restrictions. You could have married him when you were pregnant aswell so I do not why the Imams are telling you the opposite.
Anyway, if you can take your Shahaadah and do your nikah today, do so insha'Allah. May Allah put blessing in this for you, aameen.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Thank you very much for your information. I'ts very much appreciated..