I am falling in love with a Hindu girl; how do I remove these feelings?
Hi,
I am in a bit of a dilemma, here is the short story I studied pharmacy in a prestigious university in UK, whilst I did my degree I had to work with a hindu girl. We got along well and worked well as a team. I thought our ways would part as soon as we finished our degree, but we ended up working for the same company and have worked togather many times and been in contact that our mutual attraction has grown, and I think I may love her.
We hardly speak of this but how do I remove such feelings because I don't want to dis-obey my faith or my mother who has worked so hard to put me in such position. And I don't want to hurt the girl, I would like to say this I have never met anyone like her, she is so very intelligent, kind and very hard working.
Most Muslim girls I come across in my community are insecure people, who enjoy gossiping and unfortunately rather uneducated, so I don't know whether I will ever meet someone like her again.
Confused boy.
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Dear Confused Boy,
If all the Muslim women in your community are as you have described, then move out of your community and go to seek a Muslimah in places where intelligent women go - for example Islamic Halaqa classes.
Alternately, ask your Hindu friend if she will consider accepting Islam - if she is as intelligent as you say, inshaAllah she will see the sense in this. Keep your distance, find a good Muslim Masjid that teaches Islamic Studies and guide her there and go learn from there yourself too.
Ultimately, our life in this world is to serve Allah alone. If she accepts Islam sincerely, she will be halaal for you to marry, but you will have to convince your mother. If she does not accept Islam, then I can only urge you to change your direction immediately and Allah will reward you for your sacrifice.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Most Muslim girls I come across in my community are insecure people, who enjoy gossiping and unfortunately rather uneducated, so I don't know whether I will ever meet someone like her again.
Such a generalisation . You haven't seen the potential of muslim women at all . Also remember that acquiring secular education is a tool to earn money , nothing else . The real knowledge and education that is required to become a good muslim and human being is completely different than this .
Also , your question contains sentences which reflect arrogancy and pride , which is certainly not a characteristic of a good muslim .
My advice to you should be {1} dont date or involve your self in a love relationship with any girl including the hindu girl.. Allah will reward you for obeying his orders. {2} if you are intrested in this hindu girl, then go for her through the right channel ie her parents.. Islam doesnt permit you to marry a hindu girl, so you ve to convince her to look into islam before making any serious step...
brother
Most muslim girls u know in ur community are insecure , offcourse most of the people are , why if u r so confident than have u achieve something that one should be proud of
Secondly , who enjoy gossiping , well gossiping is something that a girl/women/female like(well not all) irrespective of her religion
Thirdly , rather uneducated , well what is your qualification are u engineer/doctor/phd (well I'm an telecom engineer needed to tell so that so don't feel that a nobody didn't said the above comments to u)
Well I feel u live in india , and if u go for literacy than it depends from state to state and urban and rural areas
That doesn't means that all muslim indian girls are uneducated/not qualified if u want or if ur family have relatives in big city like mumbai , delhi , bangalore , hyderabad etc than u can tell them to search a muslim well educated girl for u .
Take my suggestion apart from education also see that the muslim girl is pious and follows/know islam better than u
"and marry not the female polytheists untill they believe, and a believing slave-girl is better for you than a polytheistic women thought she may impress you"
surah baqarah.
the prophet[saww] said "a black slavegirl with a pieced nose [i.e poor] is better for you than a female polytheist"
i would advice you to ask your family to sort you out and find a girl for you.
I am glad you have raised the issue, has many people around the world feel the way yo do it doesn't matter where people are from but i say this from example. I strongly suggest if your faith means so much to you keep your distance from this girl and work working towards serving allah. Don't marry her because you will ruin your life if you are torn between your faith and your parents are you really going to be honest with her? Sometimes you have a gut feeling when something is not right it is better to keep that intact rather than go against something that is not meant to be.
As for muslim girls being gossipers sorry i am not one them i couldn't care less and i still couldn't care less what people think. You need to stop focusing on the negative and concentrate of serving your deen towards allah, then you see allah will make things better for you. I hope this helped
Confused brother,
InshaAllah, marry a Muslim girl.
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Parveen