Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Re-marrying a Muslim man, after separating from an abusive Christian husband: Haram or Halal

Dua woman at Sunset

Assalamu Alaykum brother,

I recently reverted to Islam, after carefully considering and studying and having found the light in it. I was, though married to a Christian man, under christian law 3 years ago and still currently and legally is.

After a year into our marriage, that man became abusive of me emotionally and would not come home for days at a time. In addition to that, he had been addicted to drugs and also cheated on me several times. Not to mention we have not been intimately involved after I had my child.

We stayed together for 4 years, but I have long wanted to leave the marriage. But because I had no place to go or no one else to turn to, I stayed for I have a little son.

For years I tried to salvage our marriage but his desire for drugs prevailed. He now also, selling drugs.

After I reverted to Islam, the guy that made dawah to me, to whom I told my situation to, felt the need to rescue me from that situation and proposed to me.

Being a new revert, I wanted to make sure that it is not haram, to enter into a new marriage without having to annul my marriage with my legal husband. (As I cannot afford it). This daiyyah man assured me that what is haram can be halal depending on the situation.

When he learned that me and my husband were not having any intercourse anymore, he said that an iddah wouldn't be necessary so we immediately had a nikah.

I am now pregnant and happily married to him. And my legal husband is completely okay with it as he is now also in a new relationship. Now the ustad in our jamaat says that our marriage is invalid and if we desire to re-marry, we may do so after I give birth. I am very confused right now and always making Du'a for the forgiveness of any sin I committed unknowingly.

I am so sorry making such a long litany. I just wanna make sure that I lay down my situation as clear and detailed as possible as there is a conflicting opinion from people in my jamaat whether what we did is haram or halal.

Thanks so much in advance and Jazāk Allāhu Khayran, brother.



P.S. Should I annul my marriage from my legal husband under Christian law, or does shari'a already applies to me.


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3 Responses »

  1. Forgive and Forget

    It's over with. Allah (God) is forgiving, so its time to move on. Don't dwell on it!

  2. When a married person embraces Islam there is a grace period in which their partner is given a chance to accept the religion. If he or she refuses to accept then the marriage is invalidated.

    It sounds like this didn't happen. This man who called you to Islam was impatient to marry you and therefore did so without finding out the ruling in your case.

    I don't believe your marriage is lawful as there wasn't a grace period offered to your first husband. You are not at fault here, your second "husband " is, but you both are now responsible for setting matters right so you don't live together without being married. You must speak to your local imam who will advise you further on what should be done now.

    It is an excellent thing you are seeking forgiveness for acting in ignorance, and part of seeking forgiveness is to make amends. This situation needs to be resolved speedily, and I would advise you both not to have marital relations until you have done so. This could be considered unlawful intercourse.

  3. hello

    ..good evening can i ask if what requirements needed if i get marry in the Philippines in islam?? if the guy is pakistani and me filipino

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