Islamic marriage advice and family advice

What is the awrah for a sister to her brother

A treatise on hijab

I've been told that a brother and sister that have reached puberty is haram to sleep in the same bed but then iv heard that its makrooh.

then I've heard its ok for the sister to breastfeed in front of the brother.

This is the part that confuses me, if its makrooh or haram for a sister and brother to sleep next to each other why isn't it makrooh or haram for a brother to see his sisters breast while breast feeding???

Tell me please forget if its haram or halal, whats more worser sleeping next to your brother covering your self with cloth and a blanket not naked under it or brestfeeding your child with your breast out and your brother watching... what do you think is wrong and if you think its wrong don't you think god forbidded it what ever Allah said is haram we know why its haram just by doing it we feel its haram.

Sorry i know i may have confused you people reading this im sorry.

Pplzzzzzzzz tell me if its haram or not in a straight forwood answer thank you -needing-knowledge.

- needing-knowledge


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11 Responses »

  1. Dear Writer, Asalaamualaykum,

    The Prophet (sws) ordered parents “to separate them (brother and sister) in sleeping arrangement when they reach the age of ten.” This can be taken to mean different rooms, especially if they are all by themselves.

    I think we all need to use abit of common sense. Islam enourages modesty in everything. It is common sense for a boy and girl who are past puberty not to sleep in the same bed or the same room. You say that if the girl is under her duvet covers and her brother cannot see her, then what is the problem as he cannot see her anyway. This is a somewhat immature viewpoint; hence I am wondering how old you are. If this was the point, then any man and woman should be allowed to sleep in the same bed as long as they cannot see the other's body. It is not just about about 'seeing' the body. If you are lying in the same bed with someone, you will be touching their body, and this can arouse feelings, especially if you are going through puberty. Hence it is bordering on danger of falling into sin.

    I found a similar question on the following web link which explains this better: http://www.infad.usim.edu.my/modules.php?op=modload&name=News&file=article&sid=6670


    Islam teaches us to safeguard ourselves against temptations by avoiding, to the best of our ability, all circumstances that may inadvertently lead to them. Therefore, it is not at all advisable for a Muslim brother and sister to sleep in the same room, in order not to make themselves vulnerable to Satanic suggestions and temptations.

    Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto,Ontario, Canada, states: 'It is not at all advisable for a Muslim brother and sister to sleep in the same room, for by doing so, they are unnecessarily making themselves vulnerable to Satanic suggestions and temptations. Islam teaches us to safeguard ourselves against temptations by avoiding, to the best of our ability, all circumstances that may inadvertently lead to them. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “The Devil runs through the blood-veins of sons of Adam.” Let us never forget the Qur’anic teaching that Satan is our sworn enemy who is ever determined to waylay us in order to drag us into perdition by casting evil suggestions in our minds. He does so by exploiting our most vulnerable moments.

    Therefore, it is imperative that we always act vigilantly. How often do we hear of people in similar situations falling prey to the evil suggestions of the evil one, thus dragging themselves into perdition?'

    ***

    As for breastfeeding, whoever a sister is doing this infront of, she should be doing with modesty. So if she is breastfeeding infront of her sisters or other women, it is modest and mannerful to cover herself with a light cloth. Her breast does not need to be on display for all to see. It is the same whilst being infront of a mahram, i.e. her brother or father or son: any decent and modest woman would first of all not sit in front of them to breastfeed and if she had no other choice but to do so, she would put a cover over herself so that her breast was not on display. In front of her husband of course there is no need for veiling at all.

    It is beautiful for a Muslim woman to observe modesty and shyness with her appearance.

    Please click on the following link: http://abdurrahman.org/women/Awrah.pdf

    It is an excellent article on the 'Awrah of the Woman'. I could not copy and paste as it is in PDF format and since it answers your question in full, you may as well read it there.

    ***

    Ultimately, if we are tuned in Islamically, we all know when our actions maybe becoming immodest. So lets apply some common sense.

    SisterZ
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. I think that even Non Muslims agree with this. When one reaches past the age of puberty, they want privacy.They start to get more aware of themselves & the opposite sex so it starts to feel awkward. I believe it is actually human nature. Which is why the brothers & sisters each want to have their own separate rooms. Incest isn't too common but it does happen. The beauty of Islam is prevention, we do or dont do certain things so we do not fall into unnecessary sin in ignorance & incest is most definately a sin.

  3. Assalamu alaykum,

    Also wet dreams would and dry awareness would make people seeing it a bit uncomfortable, embarassing and so it is better to arrange for separate place of sleep for siblings leaving childhood.

    Also childhood is an age of innocence and today's world is too modern with its sex education luring even small kids and making them more curious, so we should try to "prevent" as sister Pepper wrote above and a famous saying goes "prevention is better than cure".

    As far as breast feeding goes, I have been moving out of places where someone does so, I have seen women going and finding a corner or separate space to breast feed a baby, even during fuctions when more people are around than the family, and I have seen brothers and fathers moving out of that place as well when their daughter, sisters do so. So it all depends on common sesne and individual protection against Shaytaan and level of modesty which one wants to maintain within one's self without putting strain.

    And as sisterZ said, a light covering would befit any modest women while doing so, Insha Allah.

    And we should follow a middle way, not extreme, to enjoy our Islamic life while living in modesty.

    Salaam,
    Your brother.

  4. Salaam my Sister,

    Separating the boys and girls makes absolute sense. Boys are going through wet dreams, hormones, sexual self interest, and girls are beginning to menstruate and grow breasts. This is a horrific time of life (the teenage years) where privacy and self-knowledge are the meal of the day - with males and females reacting to the process in almost polar opposite ways. Shyness is very strong at this time, confusion about new feelings and what is happening to your body...

    The last thing you want whilst you are going through these teen changes is your brother or your sister next to you, stuck in the same room together.

    Peace,

    Leyla
    Editor, Islamic Answers

  5. I breast feed my kids in the same sitting room with my father and brothers, does not mean they see any part of me i wrap myself and baby with a shawl and feed my child while talking and feeling comfortable with my family, i dont see how that has anything to do with a brother and sister sleeping in the same bed at 10 years old that is when a child gets aware of their body and feel uncomfortable even with their parents,

  6. Assalaamu'alaikum...these are the phrases that shouldn't be in these comments...read the question asked above carefully and look at your answers...i'm asking if whether you are advicing him/her or hurt her/his feelings.

    This is a somewhat immature viewpoint...wondering how old you are...Her breast does not need to be on display for all to see...So lets apply some common sense!!!No one is perfect...actually you don't know who send this...he/she may be some1 who wants to humiliate Islam n use ur comment as a proof how islam is Bad because nowadays each mistake or weakness of a muslim they doesnt let go...they use it and above all you don't know the age of the writer and u wonder her/his age...you are hurting his/her feelings right now...Allah Ta'ala created man of HIS "HAND" from his light and clay and from man created woman from the most curve rib...if you try to straighten them,they'll break...if you let them like zat,more curve they'll be so be gentle to them!!!Now try to research on this u'll see how a woman even all these weaknesses are extra-ordinary...about there courage...patience... perseverance...carry burden of their husband...n so on...

    Woman deals with pregnancy n periods...man deals with woman...its all about balance. I'm really sorry for my comments but i couldn't hold on...have to get it out...why now i talk to you like this because you are mature n the writer for sure haven't reach your knowledge yet

    I think that even Non Muslims agree with this...Incest isn't too common but it does happen...So it all depends on common sense and individual protection against Shaytaan and level of modesty!!!What common sense are we talking about...a protection against shaitwan...Oh my dear can you protect yourself against shaitwan...do u know who is shaitwan...he is the teacher of the angels...Allah Ta'ala raise him to a rank that he was above the angels...he was from the time before Adam (AS)...my point is that he knows about the weaknesses of human beings...we all know about the history of shaitwan...if i need to talk abt shaitwan it will be too long...my point is non of us can protect him/her self from shaitwan only if Allah Ta'ala wills...so no use of common sense...shaitwan may take you to masjid and perform salaah also...so be carefull...now use common sense and come out with something "how is this possible".

    Childhood is an age of innocence and today's world is too modern with its sex education luring even small kids and making them more curious!!!Here the point...childhood is an age of innocence...this is the right saying...now about the question asked you all have answered it correctly...no way out but some part of the answers shouldn't be there.

    This is a horrific time of life (the teenage years) where privacy and self-knowledge are the meal of the day - with males and females reacting to the process in almost polar opposite ways...confusion about new feelings and what is happening to your body!!!Horrific time...this make me laugh 🙂 Good God!!!The right point is confusion...this is were shaitwan come into play,in confusion...hehe...shaitwan is a mastermind so be careful...the way you reply the writer here,not u only, all those who answers this question...think and try to see where shaitwan actually has played with ur emotion...i think he had played with mine too 🙁

    I don't see how that has anything to do with a brother and sister sleeping in the same bed at 10 years old that is when a child gets aware of their body and feel uncomfortable even with their parents!!!Zeena...i don't understand your comment here...what really you mean????

  7. Assalaa'mualaikum brothersand sisters

    I dont understand english that good. so just wanted to know if u can see ur sister breast feeding or not? please just answer in yes or no.

    And if a brother can see his sister breast feeding, can he see it at any time?

    please answer
    salam

    • yasar, your sister should not expose her breasts in front of you. She can breastfeed her child, but should conceal her breast beneath a wrap or cover.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  8. What is widespread amongst the people is that the awrah of a woman with another woman, as well as with her mahaarim, is that it is what is between the knees and the navel, and is this is incorrect. What is correct is that which Allaah mentioned in surah an-Nur: "...And not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers..." wherein He mentioned all of the mahaarim. Thus it is permissible for a woman to uncover in the presence of her mahaarim and other women the body parts that are usually beautified or adorned, and the body parts that are not usually beautified or adorned, then it is not permissible to uncover except for her husband based on the general meaning of the hadeeth "The woman is an awrah." (Saheeh at-Tirmidhee: hadeeth nos. 1173)

    Hence the hair is usually beautified for example, thus it is permissible to leave it uncovered. Jewelry is usually worn on the neck and the upper chest, thus it is permissible to leave it uncovered. Likewise, jewelry is usually worn on the hands and on the feet, or it is sometimes adorned (i.e. the hands and feet), thus she can leave them uncovered. As for exposing her breasts, thighs, back, etc. to other women, or to her mahaarim, then this is haraam.

    Similarly it is not permissible to wear that which reveals her figure such as tight pants or a see-through dress, in the presence of her mahaarim; all of this is haraam. However she can wear her regular 'home clothes' in the presence of her mahaarim, the clothes that she usually wears to do her domestic chores around the house, such as a dress that covers the knees, a pants covered by a long shirt that reaches the knees, and so forth. And whenever she wants to breast-feed her child, she should let the baby suckle under a veil and not to expose her breast in front of her father, brother, etc. for this part of the hayaa that is obligatory on women to observe.
    - referred from ahlalhdeeth.com

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