Islamic marriage advice and family advice

I need help with practising my faith

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Assalamu alaikum

I believe in Allah, His Books, His Messengers, His Angels. But I show least intesred to prayers, reading Quran?

I AM very worried about myself, and also scared about the judgement day.

~ Safa

 


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  1. Asalaam alaikum,

    It seems that what you are experiencing is knowledge without belief. What this means is that while you know what you are supposed to do, you are not yet convinced of the reasons as to why you should do it in regards to prayer. For example, an obese person may know not to be gluttonous, yet still refuses to change their diet accordingly to help themselves. You may be faring the same attitude.

    You may be aloof of the metaphysical self and the spiritual side of belief, which is a deeper emotion and state of being that we must access within ourselves in order to perform proper worship and heed the call to a more rewarding life. Because of this, the 'flavor' of prayer and Qur'an has escaped you. So here's a few key issues for you to examine.

    Prayer is more than just a recitation and a physical action, as it's an conscious decision of worship, so let's investigate for a moment what the word "worship" means. Defined as, "the reverent love and devotion accorded a deity, an idol, or a sacred object." So we'll dissect this sentence for a moment in reverse. We know that there is no sense in worshiping an object or an idol that can neither create, harm or benefit us. But this also means not to take our human qualities and elevate them, because surely, we were a thing not in existence before, we can neither live or die on our own, or resurrect ourselves. With that out of the way, we come to a point of understanding the Omnipotence of Allah (swt). Knowing this is our first step to worship.

    But look further into the description to see reverent love and devotion! Ah, these are the keys that we are looking for. Devotion in this sense is honoring our Lord and obeying His just laws and commands. Being devoted to something requires love and love is inconsequential without devotion, because there would be no loyalty and instead would be a temporary lust. Yet, devoted love endures every state of difficulty and ease, a triumph in the face of defeat, if you will. A glorious triumph in the face of defeating your lower nafs. Those nafs which keep your love restrained and not fully borne into full blossom.

    Yet, it goes further than just the halal and haram, the allowed and forbidden. It goes into the liked and disliked, the mustabat and the makruh. And this is where we find one of the secrets of devoted love in prayer, as it is something not only done out of obedience, but something that we savor and look forward to in our lives. It was said by one scholar that some people fit prayer into their lives, while the true believer fits their lives around their prayer. And while it is easily typed and read, we all know that mastery of prayer is an ongoing and never ending process of overcoming our own internal nafs while surrendering to the One Lord in front of us, at all times.

    Think of prayer as your approach to greatest point of your life that you can achieve, but not in arrogance as the world relies on, but in complete humility. This is a complete reverse from the world and our inner selfish selves. Take the time to start evaluating what surrounds your prayer, from your wudu, to your adhan and your mindset as you begin to understand that at this time, you are in full attention of Allah (swt) as you are ready to stand before him.

    I would like to recommend that until you begin to feel the eager anticipation of prayer, that you refrain or limit your Sunnah prayers. Though you did not say it, it may be that you are trying to focus on numbers of prayer instead of devotion and sincerity in prayers. Keep in mind that Sunnah prayers are the appetizer to your meal, but if you sacrifice focus on the wajib, then your Sunnah prayers are not serving their purpose.

    What you are trying to achieve is a burning love for God, but this doesn't come easy, because one of the necessary steps is to turn away from this world and to an extent, shun the tangible realities of its' limits. What are are also doing is realizing your limits, as well as offering them to Allah (swt) as meager tokens of your worship. Now this is where it gets interesting, because in order to focus your concentration, you must find a balance that does not make you over think, but to stay in a state of God-consciousness. One method to achieve this is to always lower your chin during prayer and keeping your eyes on the ground before you. By looking to the ground before you, you are looking at where you came from: dust. And where you will return: to dust.

    When you begin your prayer, one scholar said that by saying, "Allah akhbar" and raising your hands up, you are throwing off the chains of this world and its' slavery that has trapped your physical and mental state of being. You are essentially, throwing the world away and entering into the realm of complete devotion to Allah (swt). It's important to be aware of every movement you make in prayer. And more importantly, to understand what you are saying, specifically. Harmonize your words and recite as beautifully as you can to Allah (swt). Remember, you are now beginning your devoted love talk to the Ultimate Source of Love. Therefore, your speech must be the kindest and gentlest as possible for the only One who deserves it.

    There are many more things I can write, but for now, concentrate on these few things. Gradually over time, work on adding my advice to your prayers. Don't be flustered to do everything at once, because too much will fluster and frustrate you, and may set you back. In this sense, you are like a child learning to walk. Take it slow and easy, one step at a time.

    Prayer is our metaphysical doorway to ascension and it does not come easy, but it is a journey that is highly rewarding, humbling and graciously heartbreaking.

    Heartbreaking?! Yes! But that's another secret for another day to discuss.

    Take solace in this fact, however: because you have asked this question, you are now entering into the mission of devoted love. That is a significant step for any person and a very great one for every Muslim in our journey to Allah (swt).

    If I sound excited, it is because I am! Being in love with prayer is really a case of being in love with Allah (swt). What could bring more happiness than that?

    • Your answers and advices are highly organised and professional . Can I know your personal qualifications and age ?

    • As salamu alaykum,

      Masha´Allah, Professor X, this is a beautiful comment, I would like to add just the following, when we begin to seek knowledge means that we are opening our senses to the Greatness of our Lord, not due to our choice but by His Mercy on us, He(swt) sprouts on us the seed of searching and wakes up ourselves to His Word and the Straight Path.

      When we begin to question as you do, the lack of interest in the duties that assures us as believers, the Salat, and the reading, reciting or learning of the Quran, that means that a part of us is looking for more, you feel the emptyness that the absence of the main pillar of Islam leaves on you. And that makes you ask for answers. What is going on with me?

      A main call is ocurring inside of yourself, but your innerself doesn´t go at the same speed of your outer being, your physical body may need more time to mature and tune with the energy that will reflect from your duties as muslim.

      Our mind is fast in acquire knowledge, this knowledge won´t damage you, because it is a tiny light that shows you that there is a path to follow in front of you, strong enough for that but not enough to help you to walk, Allah(swt) wisest ways, help us to adjust our senses to the vibration that will come from prayers, masha´Allah, you are at the door of it, just one step more and you will be there, insha´Allah.

      ProfessorX, talks about the flame that pours from a Heart touched by the Love of our Lord, masha´Allah, his talks shows high intensity, he has shown you the way to get to it, little by little, you came here to get to know about it, only Allah(swt) could sprout that need of searching and questioning in you and only Him(swt) will guide you towards prayer in completely surrendering, insha´ Allah, but that needs a process as Professor X said, remember that we came to this world completely dependant and little by little, we went through all the steps, toddler, childhood, tenager, youth, maturity,...., all the systems must mature and find the perfect balance to be able to receive the energy that is waiting for us in salat, be sure you are in your way to it, Alhamdulillah.

      Show your fears to Allah(swt) , talk to Him, that is already a prayer, to talk to Him and acknowledge His Presence in your life, be sure He(swt) listens to you, Alhamdulillah.

      When I first knew about Islam, all that I had was knowledge, I began to listen to Al-Fatiha, one day and I couldn´t stop crying for quite a while, but I still was searching for more knowledge, until one day I discovered a webpage where I could learn to pray, I didn´t know anything about it, and while I was learning with my papers written in arabic and reading them, I felt so little, literally as a baby just born, didn´t know how to speak, how to move, what to do, I needed guidance for all, I was literally dependant on Him, and in my prayers I felt at the same time so ignorant and so blessed, because I was given the gift of earing and seeing, I wasn´t anymore blind and deaf, I was the last one, but Alhamdulillah, I was. I felt touched as you will feel insha´Allah, when you begin to move towards fulfilling your duties as muslim, insha´Allah.

      Just one little advice if you don´t mind, you need to learn to be, this will begin for your breathing, you need to learn to breath as children, take your breath to your belly and make of this an automatic breathing, this will ease the pressure of your mind, will melt your fears and will help you to be in Peace, insha´Allah. Once you breath from your belly, your Heart will begin to attract your attention, you will begin to feel Love filling all the empty spaces in you, insha´Allah and moments of Peace and Joy will gain space in your life, insha´ Allah, leaving behind the fears.

      Many of us have been where you are, insha´Allah, Allah(swt) will give you the energy to cross that door and begin a new stage. May Allah(swt) give you the opportunity of feeling the touch of His Unconditional Love. Ameen.
      All my Unconditional Respect,
      María
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  2. As'salaamualaikum,

    I do not think if i've been thru as such albeit I identify myself inst what you've written; many important points have had been stated by the brother above - Alhamdoulillah. But still I would like to add some more point:
    1)Read, it'll aid you unimaginably! There are tons of Islamic book that you can read and you'll find at kalamullah.com and alghurabaa.com; look for the book 'taste it' - it has helped many of my friends and including myself who were facing as such a dilemma.
    2) Persevere and be patient: I had heard or read that the believer starts waiting for the next salah as soon as he has accomplished the due one; perhaps that will help you to focus and really revolve your life around the Salah.
    3) Ask for du'ah: I guess there may be Sunnah - am not sure of - du'as that you can use to implore Allah(sw't) to help you! or, just say it by any language that you wish to, ask for Allah(sw't) to give you Imaan as the like of the prophets(pbut) and the companions of the prophet(ra); Ask for Allah(sw't) to give you love, to spare you from his displeasure and so on and so forth.

    This is a long process, do not be discouraged and.. just be patient. =).

  3. aslm.to cut this short we can give u the whole world of advice we can take u to pious ppl who can advise u ....but u knw what u wont change until u WANT to change Allah dont help those who dont help themselves....u need to stand up and say i am a muslim i wana b a muslim i wana do what a muslim does and u knw wat U NEED TO DO IT simple is ur solution the cure lies with u let go of the LAZINESS and change for the better.

  4. and good luck with ur jihaad make us all proud become a hero;-)

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