I consider my female cousin as my real sister, so we talk on the phone, and text each other, but we don’t have any intention to marry.
Dear all.
Assalamo Alaykum.
I am 23. I want to know if itis allowed to treat my Cousin Sister as my own Sister. I don't have a sister of my own. She is not even my milk sister. She is 6 month younger than me. We don't want to marry each other. We like to TALK for STUDY purposes, and sometimes we have other good talks by sharing our day to day activity. We both live in hostels in different cities. We share ideas with each other, to exchange information regarding our activities and our problems. We don't feel alone this way. I have no intention to have a girlfriend, I don't even think girls are trustworthy. I share these thoughts with my cousin, and I know what I tell her is secure because she is trustworthy.
We meet when our familie meet with each other. But now-a-days, we don't meet often for a long time, and feel uncomfortable when we don"t have any contact, no calling, and no texting. So, sometimes we call each other.
Let me know about this, as we don't have bad intentions like incest or haram.
She thinks of me as a good caring brother of hers, and I think the same, too. She is going to be a doctor and I'm a Pharmacy graduate. So I eventually help by calling her during her studies via talks on call and text. Sometimes we unintentional flirts, we joke, have "love talks" to add a little enjoyment in life. Is this right or wrong? We have no affectionfor each other in a romantic way, and no intention to get married.
Please send your thoughts and give references from Al Quran, Bukhari, and other Muslim books. Also if you find any web link please include it.
Thank you
~Arshad
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Salaams,
To get straight to the point, yes it is wrong to carry on with a marriagiable female (even if she's your cousin) as a friend as you have described.
Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Whenever a non-mahram man and woman meet in seclusion, Shaytaan definitely is the third one joining them.” [Tirmidhi]
Whether it feels like it to us or not, our faith requires us to believe what Prophet Muhammad is saying, trusting that he knew more than we do about these matters. Islam is very clear about how women and men should deal with each other, and you are violating those principles by maintaining this type of friendship with your cousin.
It's pretty likely that eventually the two of you will marry someone else, and chances are that your respective spouses WILL have a problem with the nature of your relationship if you allow it to continue. I understand that you have "good" intentions, but the BEST intentions are when we intend to follow Islam and the Sunnah even when it "doesn't make sense" to us or is difficult.
If you don't think you can stick to having the same type of cordial interactions that you have with other cousins and non mahram females, them perhaps you need to consider the idea of marriage with this young lady. Those really are your only two options.
If you would like more detailed "proofs" of this matter, you can peruse this link: http://www.islamcan.com/youth/prohibition-of-free-mixing-between-men-and-women.shtml
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
A S A
99% at last She will make you fool and marry to a Doctor, Then you will feel that she was not your cousin sister But you loved her
Same to u, excellent
you quoted "Sometimes we unintentional flirts, we joke, have "love talks" to add a little enjoyment in life. Is this right or wrong? We have no affectionfor each other in a romantic way, and no intention to get married".
Are you sure you don't love her because to me that sounds you really do love each other. And I personally don't think neither of you two should be together if your are leading each other on and passing time. Sorry there is more to life than doing things you shouldn't.