My father does not work
My father is not doing anything from last 5 years and I dont have elder brother.
After my completion of graduation, I started doing job but the salary which I earn is not sufficient.
I want my father to do the job.
Please suggest us what to do.
- ahmedi
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Dear Ahmedi, Asalaamualaykum,
There may be a plausible reason why your father has not been working for last five years. Is he suffering from an illness or a condition which means he cannot work? Is he suffering from depression? Or is he looking for work, but finding it difficult to find a job? Maybe he genuinely needs help looking for work? Or is he just lazy?
Your father has an obligation to support his family as much as he can and of course now that you are of working age, you should help him too as much as you can. However it is unfair if you are taking on the financial responsibility all alone if your father has no reason not to work. Taking in to account any reasons you are aware of for your father not working, I suggest you talk to your him about this situation.
- If your father is not working due to an illness or disability, he could be entitled to some state benefits, which could help ease the financial burden;
- If your father is finding it difficult to find work and has become de-motivated, maybe you could help him practically. Depending on what his field of work and education is, you could take him to a careers advisor or help him fill out application forms;
- On the other hand, if your father has a not bothered attitude, then you still need to communicate with him - frustrating as it may feel. Even behind this apparent laziness, there will most probably be an underlying cause of depression or something. You will not know until you have spoken to him.
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Check out the following websites:
- For tips on how to spend without wasting: http://www.soundvision.com/Info/life/20kids.asp
- This one refers to a similar query as yours: http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/3043
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Below are some hadiths to show your father, but I think you will also find much peace and encouragement in them, especially no.6:
1) Anas (ra) reported that the Prophet (saw) said: “Allaah will ask everyone who has been given responsibility about whatever he was responsible for, until He asks a man about his family.” (Reported by Ibn Hibaan).
2) According to a hadeeth narrated by Jaabir ibn Samurah (ra), the Prophet (saw) said: “If Allaah gives something good to any one of you, let him start with himself and his family.” (Reported by Muslim, 1454).
3) The above references to the texts of Islam indicate that it is obligatory for a man to spend on his family and to take care of their interests. Many hadeeth narrated from the Prophet (saw) demonstrate the virtue of this action and show that it is a righteous action in the sight of Allaah. Abu Mas’ood al-Ansaari (ra) reported that the Prophet (saw) said: “When the Muslim spends on his family with the hope of earning reward, this is an act of charity for him.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 1/136).
4) Sa’d ibn Maalik (ra) reported that the Prophet (saw) said to him: “Whatever you spend on your family, you will be rewarded for it, even the mouthful which you lift up and place in your wife’s mouth.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 3/164, and Muslim, 1628).
5) Abu Hurayrah (ra) reported that the Prophet (saw) said: “A dinar that you spend in the way of Allaah, a dinar that you spend to free a slave, a dinar that you give to the poor, and a dinar that you spend on your family – the greatest of these is the one that you spend on your family. “ (reported by Muslim, 2/692).
6) Ka’b ibn ‘Ujarah (ra) said: “A man passed by the Prophet (saw), and his Companions were impressed by the man's strength and energy. They said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, if only this was for the sake of Allaah!’ The Messenger of Allaah (saw) said: ‘If he goes out to work for the sake of his young children, he is striving for the sake of Allaah; if he goes out to work for the sake of his aged parents, he is striving for the sake of Allaah; if he goes out to work to keep himself from having to beg, he is striving for the sake of Allaah; but if he goes out to work for the purposes of showing off and boasting, then he is striving in the way of the Shaytaan.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani, Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2/8).
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Until you find a solution, make lots of dua to Allah that He(swt) save you from ever being burdened by any sort of debts, that he make your father take responsibility for his family and that he gives you the will and capability and opportunity to support your family with humbleness, love and patience, Aameen.
Sunnah of the Prophet(saw) to recite this dua morning and evening: "Oh Allah, I seek refuge in You from worry and grief, from helplessness and laziness, from cowardice and stinginess, and from overpowering of debt and from oppression of men."
May Allah make your path easier, Aameen.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Really excellent and comprehensive answer ma-sha-Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Hi,
My father is not working for last 15 years. He is not sick, fully capable of work. My elder sister's husband doesn't give her permission to work. I have a younger brother who has just got admitted at Uni. So the family depends on my mother and me.
My mom has been working since she got married. I'm married. My husband has huge debt. I'm working and paying off my husband's loan and also sending the rest of my salary to my parents. Paying my parent's debt,my brother's full study cost, parent's house rent because my mother's earning is low.
Why my father doesn't understand our feelings??? I couldn't finish my study when I was with my parents cause I left my study to do a full time work. My mother arranged few job for my father but he denied. In his opinion It should be us(we 3 brothers and sisters) who should work to spend for the family. Also he is always angry and say why we don't give our full earning money to him(we give money to my mohter).
Also I'm not getting a simple courtesy from my in law's family because my parents were unable to give dowry to them.
My father in law always say to my husband "as a father of a son I have the right to get dowry". I'm getting mentally tortured in my in law's house. Also ordered my husband in our marriage time not to give denmohor(mahr) and orderd me not to take mahr after my marriage. My father in law is hajji. He prays 5 times teach everyone to pray 5 times. Still not behave well with other people. He speaks very rude to others, not only me.
I have full faith in Allah. I'm trying hard. I've almost paid my husband's debt and also my mother's debt.Few months to go inshallah.I can fullfill all of their need. I just want my father to feel our problem from heart as I feel for them and to do something for our family. I want my father in law not to say bad things to my poor parents for dowry and to me. I never argued with my in law's. Just cry and pray to Allah.
I don't know what to do, I just pray for me and other people who is in trouble. Allah will help us.