My husband is a drug addict and dealer, I cry every day
Salaam, i hope you could advice me on what i should do! my marriage is in a real mess, i do all i can for my husband, our marriage was a love marriage and. went against my family to marry this guy, so in the end family agreed.. Its been 4 years we been married he doesnt want to work, he. a drug dealer, he's been on heroin most his life which i found out after marriage, my family paid for his implant to stop him using this stuff, it worked for 1 year, then back on it,. then he paid for it him self the next implant this year, and now he just never at home, he leaves me in the morning at 10am, and. comes back at 10-11pm, kiss good nite and goes sleep, we were trying for a baby before but i thank Allah i havent got kids yet with him! he even vanishes for days and doesnt reply to my calls or txt's i feel so alone, my family didnt know anything till recently they came round and saw my eyes puff'd up,. i had to tell my mum and my brother, i just cry every day on the biggest mistake of my life! dont get me wrong i still care for him but. the love in my heart has gone, my heart is in peices. he will. never admit what he does, iv had to look up drugs and know all the symtoms and he used up all out savings on his dirty habbit! if its not drugs its drinking badly! PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME! I swear i feel theirs nothing in this life for me anymore.. assalaam. .
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leave him heroin is the hardest drug to give up unless you want the highligjht of your life be helping your love quit heroin for good than stay with him. move on
I am sorry to hear about this, I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you. He probably loves you but his drug problem is between you two. I don't understand why did he want to marry you if he knew he doesn't have anything good to offer. He has to understand that he must quit or you don't have any other option that leave him, you can save yourself from the hell you keep living.
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I went through the same thing as you habibti i was engaged to my husband for only 4 months before i married him. But i fell in love so deep for him i was crazy about him, and i thought he felt the same about me. Only because thats how he would act. He made me feel so speacial, But only if i knew sooner what him and his family had hiding up there sleeves.. He had so much hiding from me he was a HEROIN addicet he was in and out of jail, him and his family were hiding so many nasty secrets from me and my parents.That i only found out a year afer are marrige that he is a heroin addicet. I had no clue till one day his evil mother comes up to me one day and tells me her son has been a heroin addicet since he was 15 years old... I was in a state of shock, i stareted to cry and cry as if i just heard that he died. I had no words i mean wat do say to the lady that let her son marry a 17 year old muslim virgin, so she just kept going on about how i shouldnt tell my parents because she thinks its best if no ever finds out about her son . So when my husband came home i confronted him about what his mother just told me he went crazy on me hitting walls smashing doors saying its all a lie. When i started to notice the tracks on his arms. I mean i had no words i was so hurt and i felt so played and lied to and so betrayed But like the good wife i was to him i sat in his lap and i looked him straight in the eye and cried to him NO!!! NO im not letting heroin take you away from me thats not going to happen over my dead body i cried to him .But mind you i thought he loved me more than anything in the world at the time, i had no idea how drugs worked i was cluless.. I wish i knew that drugs doesnt only damege the person abusing it dameges the people who have to deal with the abuser. So like the loving wife that i was to him s stood by his side every damn seconed when he was sick going through the withdraws when he told me he quit. And then the next day when i would find him putting needles in his arm. It was so herd to watch someone you love so dearly do this to them selves, then one day he turned so yellow like the sun so i took him to the ER they right away told me he has hepatitisC and he was having liver failure so he had to stay in the hospital for two weeks , and i did not leave his side for one seconed i slept there with him for support . . But little did i know.. So the doctor comes in and tells me hes had this hepatitisC For many years way before i ver knew him and hes known the whole time and married me knowing all this infomation about him self.. So i balled because it was another lie i had found out about him.. so i still stood by his side and tried to help him with his Heroin problem but after a whole other year of trying to get him to quit all on my own and he wouldnt go to rehab. So i finally had the guts to tell my family everything that has been going on behind there backs this whole year i have known about him.. So autimatically they took me away from him, and they told him this is what your choosing over are daughter!!! That was JULY 26, 2010 TODAY IT IS NOW OCTOBER 28,2010 and i have never seen him heard from him got a letter from him nothing that was the the last time i ever seen him .. I am so thankfull for parents like mine that they took me away from that living hell everyday i dont see him or his nasty family i feel better and better we went are seprate ways with such as a goodbye to one another.. I feel so sick to my stomic everytime i think of the 2 years i spent with him all the love i gave him and all the support everything i went through all for someone who loves heroin more than his wife its so damn sickning eww i want gag thinking i ever wanted to spend the rest of my life with a needle junkie i even wanted to have his children eww how grosss!!!!! ALLHAMDULILAH i have moved on its as if he never exsusted in my life thank you god for getting that haram needle junkie lying loser out of my life thank god i did not get pregnet by his sorry ass!!!!!!!! so who ever is going through the samething beleive me there is better life after these nasty junkies just move on if i coud do it so can you i promise it would be hard at first but you will love to wake up everyday to drug free life dont waste anymore energey on these ass holes they dont care about you they will sell you for there drugs if they have to.. please take it from someone who has been through it with someone i used to love more than my self. i was in your place at a point in my life i am now 19 and moving on and even planning on getting married inshallah to a guy that deserves my love!!!!! just keep faith in allah he will lead you in the directoin you need to be in !!!
Rehana, it's good that your parents removed you from that environment Alhamdulillah. Make sure you get a complete medical checkup to be sure that he did not pass any diseases to you. But do not insult your ex-husband by calling him a loser, a**hole, etc. He is in the grip of something terrible. Someone got him started when he was young and naive, and it has taken a hold of his soul. He is living his own kind of hell. Don't go back to him, but if you truly loved him once then do pity him and pray for him.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Hello Wael, i used to pity him and feel so bad for him and cry for him everyday. But ever since i left him he went to rehab and got better. so he now has no excuse for acting the way he is. I do not deserve what him and his family did to me and continue to do to me. They are denying everything that there son is i never got an apolagey from him nor his family. And they keep calling me a liar saying im making all this up to everyone because there affraid for their reputation. You dont know the people im dealing with there very ignorant. You dont know the hell i went through with these so called muslims and not to mention there also from my family. wich makes it more sad. so when someone is dealing with people like that and im sitting there writting about them its likley im going to vent in my words and maybe im wrong for writing that . Because i just have to remember, min~hum~ la~ allah.