Wife seeking financial security and kids.
Salaams Brothers and Sisters,
I just wanted to ask all you wonderful brothers and sisters to pray for my husband and I. We are desperately trying to save up to buy our own home and are in need of your duas. My husband and I are living with family at the moment and it is very difficult for us for many reasons one being lack of privacy etc. We both work, my husband works in a factory and earns minimum wage and i started my own business which hardly made anything this year unfortunately, so had to be dissolved.
I can not help but feel depressed as all our friends and family our age have their own homes and are moving forward in life by having families and I feel left behind. I do not believe in getting a council house as we both have hands and are able to work and want to be successful. The problem is my husband came from India 2 years ago and as of yet hasn't got the grasp of fully speaking english like I do, so his job options are restricted. We can not afford for him to take time off work to study as he is the only one earning. I am in the process of looking for a job and am happy to and want to contribute as much as I can before we start a family.It is causing a lot of stress for us. I can't help but feel as if for the rest of our lives the financial burden will be on us both, I desperately want to start a family, but I know we can't afford to right now. If we were to start a family my husband will still not earn enough to support me, a household and a child, based on the last 2 years' wage. This fact hurts me so much, sometimes it makes me annoyed with my husband cause I blame him for not fulfilling his duties as a husband. It is unfair and 90 percent of the time i ignore these thoughts but then at other times it gets the better of me. I wish that i could stay at home like all the other women i know and be a housewife and have children and be cared for like my mother was. Unfortunately it seems like for the rest of my life i will have to seek a job so that we can afford a basic standard of living let alone anything else. This is when it can lead to strains in our marriage.
No matter how hard we try we just manage to make ends meet now let alone with extra responsibilities. I wanted to know if there were any specific duas that I could make? I really want to move forward and not get bogged down and sad with my situation. Please pray that my husband and I get better jobs and can fulfill our purpose of being on this Earth. I would appreciate any advice from you all many thanks.
-lostwoman
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Salam Sister
There are a couple of Duas you can make look in fortress of the Muslim. My self I would advise you try to look beyond the Dunya sister unfortunately when we only chase this life our only goal Allah most high debasses is and makes us low in punishment for us forgetting the most important thing his worship and being in his precense in Junnah. Please sister don't take this the wrong way but ur goals seem to be targeted to this life, you said "pray that my husband and I get better jobs and can fulfill our purpose of being on this Earth". I might of misunderstood but it seemed you have equated getting a better job will help you achieve your goal on this earth, this is not necessarly so my sister.
There's a Hadith I heard in which prophet Muhammad (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him and his family) said when Man chases the Dunya Allah puts the Dunya between his eyes and makes all of his affairs scattered so he never experiences a moment of peace, but when man looks to the next life and works towards it Allah brings all his affairs together and he provides for him a place from which he didn't expect. Please this is as much a advice for me as it is for you. personally I would advise you make hijrah and return to motherland why stay in this country and be in constant anguish and struggle. a friend of mine did exactly this and he is happy he said his family here were thought of as low class but there they lead a comfortable life, he doesn't feel this culture of working till your dead and have nothing more to give that is prevalent in the west. I hope your situation improves please look to what is important and consider to make Hijrah I certainly hope to do.
As salamu alaykum, lostwoman,
There is an article in IslamicSunrays that may help you, insha´Allah.
http://islamicsunrays.com/dua-against-debt/
If you want try to practice to be thankful for what you already have,... you and your husband are healthy and can work, don´t envy others, be grateful for what you have and bless the others. Everyone has their own path in life, careful when you think others life is better than yours, this kind of thoughts brings darkness to our Heart.
Please, be respectful to your husband and support him to be his best, believe in him and give strong roots to your own family.
Try to be positive and grateful, Alhamdulillah, try to see all the blessings you have in you and around you, Alhamdulillah. Changing your way of looking at life, life will change around you, insha´Allah.
All my Unconditional Love and Respect,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaams Sister
Be grateful for everything that you have so far. A good husband, a roof over your head. Make Dua- Inshallah your life will improve. Support your husband and let him know that you are there to lend him a helping hand. Do not make him feel that he is useless or unworthy of you. Enjoy each others companionship. Remember money cannot buy happiness. You are frustrated and you directing your anger to your husband. Whenever this happens,occupy yourself with something and try not to think of the situatuion.
Sister I was in almost the same position as you. After I got married, my husband lost both of his businesses and I was the sole provider for us. For months and months my husband tried looking for a job- but no luck. We also lived with in-laws who was not as very nice to us.
We however still wanted a baby and after my baby was born - Alhamdullilah we were blessed abundantly. our situation is much better. thanks to Allah and our Dua's we made. Dua is a powerful tool. It can change anyones life. Be patient.
Rumaysa