Are they divorced? My husband loves a girl on the net.
If a husband says to his wife that "if you send a message to your friend then you get divorced automatically" and then the wife sent a message to her friend through another friend, are they divorced or not divorced?
sweeto
I got married before 4 years.Its love marriage.Two years ago my husband involved with another girl at net.He loves her.I cant tolerate it.Its tensionable for me.He is stil in connecting her through net.Its very painful for me.What can I do to remove love of that girl from my husband heart?
sweeto
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Salaams,
Regarding your first question, it's my understanding that conditional divorce is valid. There is an expanded answer to such an issue at this website: http://en.islamtoday.net/node/631. I think in the example that you gave, the more important question is if the wife indeed met the condition the husband set forth, because you mentioned that the message was sent "through a friend" and not directly from the wife to the other person. I think the wife in that case should ask her husband to clarify the condition himself, and if it falls that she did meet the condition it would seem to be considered valid.
Regarding the second issue you brought up about your husband and the internet girl: what are his intentions? Is he looking for a second wife, or is he just flirting around?
If he is looking for a second wife, you have to respect his right to that. I know it hurts immensely to share your husband with someone, but in such a case it would be wrong for you to ask or expect him not to care for someone he intends to marry. If you don't feel you can handle being in polygamy, then you have a right to request a divorce or khula.
If, on the other hand, he is not looking for another wife but is just indulging his nafs and lusts with other women, then he is in the wrong. Neither men nor women have the right to talk to non-mahrem without purpose, or frivolously. For him to continue doing so is a form of infidelity against your marriage, and it's understandable why it's hurting you so. Such a person is not trustworthy.
If you find yourself in this case, then tell him to stop talking to the other girl, and that it's wrong. If he refuses, then you have to decide if you're going to live with that or not.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
ASSALAMALAIKUM-
DEAR AMY- I READ THE THE MATTER IN THE WEBSITE- AND NOTED THIS LINE
The majority of scholars are of the opinion that whoever makes divorce contingent upon a condition, then the divorce occurs......
CONTINGENT MEANINGS-
Liable to occur but not with certainty;
Happening by chance or accident;
An event or condition that is likely but not inevitable.
THIS MEANS UNINTENTIONAL OR IN ANGER/IN FRUSTRATION
I HUMBLY REQUEST YOU TO KINDLY MENTION/CLARIFY THIS MAJORITY OF SCHOLARS ARE WHO?
THE SUB CONTINENT SCHOLARS OF DEOBAND?AND EGYPT TURKEY WHO PLAY WITH GIRLS LIVES IN MILLIONS SINCE THEY HAVE TAKEN THE REINS OF ISLAM]IN THEIR [TERRITORIES] WITH THE FORMATION OF BLIND TAQLEED IN QUESTION OR THE SALAFI SCHOLARS WHO JUDGE ONLY FROM QURAN AND HADEES-
PEOPLE LIKE THE ABOVE CASE HAVE A GOOD REASON TO SAY THIS BECAUSE OF THE DEOBAND PSEUDO SCHOLARS-VERSION-"if you send a message to your friend then you get divorced automatically"
WHEN HE HIMSELF SENDS A MESSAGE THE TALAQ WONT TAKE PLACE-BECAUSE IN ISLAM THE LIFE OF A GIRL CHILD IS NOT SO CHEAP OR EASY TO GET RID OF DUE TO ANOTHER GIRL ON THE NET WHERE THE HUSBAND GETS INFATUATED AND ACTS FUNNY -DO YOU THINK ALLAH GAVE THESE VAGABONDS A TOOL TO USE AND DESTROY A ARRANGED FAMILY MARRIED LIFE? FOR NO FAULT OF HERS???????????
PLEASE READ THE QURAN AND HADES VERSION PARTICULARLY THE 3 MONTHS WAITING PERIOD IN THE HUSBANDS HOIUSE-FOR 3 TALAQS.....
COMMANDENTS IN QURAN ON TALAQ.......
O PROPHET[SALALAHUALAIHIWASALAM] WHEN YOU DIVORCE YOUR WOMEN,DIVORCE THEM IN THEIR WAITING PERIOD, COMPUTE THE WAITING PERIOD ACCURATELY, DO NOT TURN THEM OUT OF THE HOUSES IN THEIR WAITING PERIOD,NOR SHOULD THEY GO AWAY FROM THE THEIR HOMES,UNLESS THEY HAVE COMMITTED ANY MANIFESTLY EVIL DEED,SUCH ARE THE BOUNDS SET BY ALLAH,ANY ONE TRANSGRESSES THESE BOUNDS SET BY ALLAH SHE COMMITS WRONG AGAINST HIMSELF,YOU DO NOT KNOW MAY BE ALLAH WILL CAUSE SOMETHING TO HAPPEN TO PAVE THE WAY FOR RE-CONCILIATION,IF YOU HAVE TO DIVORCE YOUR WIVES YOU SHOULD DIVORCE THEM TILL THE WAITING PERIOD.[SURAH TALAQ-65 [AL-QURAN]
WHAT IS WAITING PERIOD-[IT IS IN THE HUSBANDS HOME AS PER QURAN]
THE SYSTEM OF SHARIAH TALAQ IS NOT TO BE GIVEN [IN MENSTRUAL PERIOD DAYS]BUT AFTER THE MENSTRUAL PERIOD BEFORE HAVING SEX.... 1ST MONTH 1ST TALAQ…… 2ND MONTH 2ND TALAQ …...AND 3RD MONTH 3RD TALAQ TO BE GIVEN IN FRONT OF ARBITRATORS FROM BOTH FAMILIES,BY GIVING AWAY ALL THE JEWELS,CLOTHES ALL THAT WAS GIVEN BY THE GROOM AT THE TIME OF MARRIAGE AND GIFT HER AND RELEASE HER WITH GRACE AND KINDNESS…….
IF THE HUSBAND PROCLAIMS THE 3RD TALAQ [IN THE ABOVE SHARIAH MANNER -THEN THE WOMAN WILL BECOME HARAM FOR HIM THIS IS CALLED TALAQ-E SHARIATH……
PROOF IN QURAN FOR THE COUPLE TO RE-COINCILE
“Those who intend to divorce their wives shall wait four months (cooling off); if they change their minds and reconcile, then GOD is Forgiver, Merciful. If they go through with the divorce, then GOD is Hearer, Knower. “[Al Baqarah: 226-227]
PROOF IN HADEES FOR THE COUPLE TO RE-COINCILE
834 - Ibn 'Umar, may Allah be pleased with them, reported: I divorced my wife while she was menstruating during the lifetime of Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him). 'Umar bin Al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) asked Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) about it, whereupon Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Command him ('Abdullah bin 'Umar) to take her back (and keep her) and pronounce divorce when she is purified and she again enters the period of menstruation and she is again purified (after passing the period of menses), and then if he so desires he may keep her and if he desires divorce her (finally) before touching her (without having an intercourse with her), for that is the period of waiting
2 TALAQS IN 2 MONTHS TO BE GIVEN WITH WIFE IN HUSBANDS HOUSE
ALLAH REVEALED IN SURAH BAGARA-229]IF A TALAQ IS GIVEN TWO TIMES AS PER THE LAW & KEEPS HIS WIFE OR SENDS HER BACK TO HER PARENTS & IN THAT CASE IT WILL BE COUNTED AS 2[TWO]TALAQS-AND IF THEY WANT TO RESCUE THEIR RELATIONSHIP THEY CAN RE-MARRY AGAIN BEFORE GIVING THE 3 RD TALAQ [SURAH BAQARA AYAT [NO232-
AFTER THE 3RD TALAQ- NO RE-MARRIAGE IS ALLOWED……
The divorce is twice, after that, either you retain her on reasonable terms or release her with kindness.
And it is not lawful for you (men) to take back (from your wives) any of your Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) which you have given them, except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah (e.g. to deal with each other on a fair basis). Then if you fear that they would not be able to keep the limits ordained by Allah, then there is no sin on either of them if she gives back (the Mahr or a part of it) for her Al-Khul' (divorce) . These are the limits ordained by Allah, so do not transgress them. And whoever transgresses the limits ordained by Allah, then such are the Zalimun (wrong-doers). ( سورة البقرة , Al-Baqara, Chapter #2, Verse #229)
THE INTENTION OF THIS VERSE IS FURTHER EXPLAINED IN HADEES NASAI REPORTS HOLY PROPHET SALALAHUALAI HIWASALAM WAS INFORMED A PERSON HAD PRONOUNCED 3[THREE]DIVORCES IN ONE SITTING HE STOOD UP IN ANGER AND SAID"ARE THE PEOPLE PLAYING WITH THE BOOK OF ALLAH EVEN WHEN I AM PRESENT AMONG YOU"SEEING THE EXTREME ANGER OF PROPHET SALALHU-ALAIHI-WASALAM A PERSON STOOD UP AND SAID SHOULD I GO AND KILL THAT PERSON.
THE COMMANDMENTS OF SHARIAH ARE FOLLOWED BY THE MUSLIMS MILLIONS OF GIRLS CAN BE SAVED FROM RETURNING BACK WITH CHILDREN. .