Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Childhood sexual abuse

Asalamu alaikum. I'm a 22 year old male. I want to share something that I have not shared till this day in my life. It's really difficult for me but I want to share it. When I was 6 year old I used to play with the kids in my neighbourhood, I was a playful innocent kid. There were 2 boys were older than me. They forced and assaulted me sexually when I was 6 till 12 years old for 6 years they used to beat me force me into doing filthy things ..they did unimaginable things to me at that age which I even didn't know. I didn't know what was being done to me. And it had ruined my childhood and is ruining my life. I am guilty of committing adultery because I have known it from a tender age. I try to be religious and put my faith in Allah but my mind is a terrible place. I battle mental problems as a daily routine. I also got into drugs at one point in my life to get away from the pain. I don't have control over my thoughts and I feel like a wretched person. I want Allah forgiveness for my sins as they are many. I don't know if I'm worth it. I'm ashamed of committing adultery, if things were different in my childhood maybe my life would have been better. I often think I'm worthless and should commit suicide but then I'll go to dozak forever and i want to go in jannah. I'm broken mentally. I don't know how to live my life


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1 Responses »

  1. You were raped and's not a sin on your part, but the boys that assaulted you. You need to stop blaming yourself and view yourself as the sinner, because you are not one. I strongly urge you to give yourself a big gift: Therapy. Talk to a professional that can help you cope with your trauma, and help you move on in a positive direction. You don't have to suffer like this and resort to self destructive habits. You CAN have a good life, my friend.

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