I’m 13 and I have a crush on my teacher and on superheroes
Comic book superheroes
hello, i know this is an adults website but i cant find the answers to my questions ANYWHERE.
i'm a 13 year old girl.
first of all, are we allowed to have crushes on teachers? (the first one i found out was a perve but still like him and now there's this other teacher, both of them are funny).
secondly are we allowed to have a crush on actors, (i like 3 of the avengers)?
finely, are we allowed to have more then one crush at a time?
the worst is my 1st crush on my teacher, every time i go past his class, i have a nervous brake down inside me, then i feel like im not walking straight which makes it worse. when im in class and he tells something even slightly funny, i start giggling, and i THINK i blush. i smile in HIS class more then any other, and I DON'T want to move, because the girls in the other class hate me, plus when people say stuff to me in his class, he sticks up for me.
nobody realises i blush or giggle but i think he does (how embarrassing) AND now this other teacher both of them are not Muslim, so its the same thing times 2.
i have no friends i can talk to (there is this one girl, but i only talk to her about the superheroes i like (tony stark, bruce banner aka hulk from the avengers not the proper movies and Thor).
are we allowed to like someone PARTLY because there attractive, and are we allowed to say "SOOOO HOT or FIT" to our friends? it makes me feel bad, but then again its a sort of nice feeling. sometimes i feel really happy. (i feel very energetic, and i think its because of those guys).
i would tell my family,but when i try to talk to my sister (shes 27) it makes me feel odd that i have a crush on actors, and especially teachers. i know she doesn't think it bad but its too embarrassing. dont get the wrong idea, i tell my family everything, its just that this is embarrassing. And i definitely don't want to tell anyone i know.
thank you for you help.
one more thing, please don't write something too complicated, thank you again.
- X Inferno-Striker X
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Salaam Inferno-striker.
Thank you for writing to us with your question little sister and I will do my best to answer InshaAllah.
As for having crushes - its perfectly normal especially at your age dear sister - and at this stage of your life it's probably new to you. You start noticing boys and finding them attractive and having crushes.
So yes my dear sister - we are allowed to have crushes. It is something normal and we can't help. Allah has given us this natural feeling where we like the opposite sex, and we find them attractive physically and emotionally. In Islam though we only act on these feelings with a spouse (a person we are married to.)
So nothing is wrong with having a crush on a guy or a man because we cannot help our feelings. And yes sometimes you get more than one crush and they change - that's normal. I was the same at 13!
But it would be wrong if we acted on our feelings. So for example: if you told a guy you liked him that would be wrong, or if you had a boyfriend that would also be wrong. So be careful about what you say and do.
As for having a crush on your teacher - it happens sometimes it's normal. But again you must realise acting on it in anyway is wrong - it would be Islamically and morally wrong as well. It happens to a lot of girls though - because as pupils we look up to our teachers, we admire them and we want to be like them when we get older. It's easy to get a bit confused dear sister.
I had an amazing teacher once. He was so clever and smart and loved the subject he taught. For a while I thought I liked him, but after a bit of time I realised I admired him. They are different things.
So its fine but just dont act on it. Don't flirt with him and dont get scared about getting shy - it is normal. Try to remember it is your teachers job to stick up for students if people are being mean - it doesn't mean he likes you like that. Again a teacher and pupil cannot have any kind of relationship. It's illegal so treat your crush as a fantasy - not a reality.
"Your teacher can be adorable, but they're also untouchable. They can't have a relationship with you: it's illegal. If a teacher, or anyone else in a position of trust, has any kind of sexual contact with someone under 18 in his or her care, they're breaking the law."
Please see: http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/advice/factfile_az/teacher_fancying_your_teacher
As for friends sister, have you tried joining after school clubs or even out of school girls clubs, or better yet the local mosque? I didnt have any friends in school either so I remember how lonely it feels. Dont get upset about it - when the time is right you will make friends just try to be confident and go to places where you might meet nice Muslim girls your age. (Like the mosque or activities for Muslims.) Try not to be too friendly with boys either and be careful with hanging around with bad people.
You know sister, when I was 14, I met a new girl and we became best friends. Our friendship has lasted many years MashaAllah so it just takes time. So smile, be happy and pray to God to help you make good nice friends.
Try not to get too caught up in talking about boys all the time if you can. I am not saying its wrong to talk about it sometimes but try not to do it all the time little sister. 🙂
There are lots of other good useful things to talk about.
Dont worry too much about family not understanding - your sister is a different age and it's easy to forget what its like being 13 if you are 27! You are not odd sister - it is normal.
I have tried to keep it simple, but if there is anything you don't understand or anything you want me to explain please comment on here and I will explain for you.
Are you happy at school though? Why do you not have friends, are you shy?
Do you pray sister? I had a lot of trouble at school and things got easier when I started praying.
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
im very sorry for my late reply, iv been very buzzy this week.
here are the answers to your questions
1: Normally im alone in school. i have friends but there all one year younger then me , there in year 7.i dont enjoy school, and when we go on trips , i cant hang around with anyone.
2: Im not not shy, im actually quite confident (according to my teachers). The girls in my school think im stupid because i dont mess about and i like to work, and i try hard. they find me annoying.
3: I didn't used pray to until today :/
Something terrible happened in school
my year 7 friend( not Muslim ) had a major crush on this boy in her class, and i was trying to help her. i told her to just talk to him like she does to any other boy( is that right?). she did that, and she told me it made everything worse 🙁 she seemed as though she was going to cry. she said shes not my friend any more and now i feel really sad, its unbelievable. She keeps being my friend then not being my friend because the girls in her class hate me , they tell her not to be my friend.
I also told her to not become his boyfriend, because if he leaves her , she will be heart broken , and that is definite to happen, boys are like that.
Now i feel like fighting her , but i would never do that.
I cant believe this is happening to me 🙁
sallam
dont act upon your crushes!! and secondly the people editing the posts....wht do you have images of people?
Allah hafiz
Wa Alaikum as Salam,
brokenbrain, please read this for clarity:
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said:
With regard to pictures made
in the modern fashion, they
fall into two categories: The first category is those
which have no tangible
substance (and can only be
seen by running them through a machine), as I was told is the case with pictures on video tapes. There is no ruling at all concerning these, and they do not come under the prohibition at all. Hence the scholars who forbid making pictures with cameras on paper (photographs)
permitted this (video
pictures), and said that there
is nothing wrong with this....
The second category is fixed or still pictures on paper (photographs) …
(excerpt from the Shaikh's Fatwa. See Al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 2/197-199 for more)
Wassalamualaikum
Muhammad Waseem
IslamicAnswers.com Editor