How do you greet and smile when even glancing is haraam?
Salam all,
I have a question that's been bothering me since childhood. How is it that one is supposed to give salaams and smile (sunnah) at one's Muslim brother's and sisters when we are taught its haraam to look at and talk to non mahrams?
Nohur.
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Salaam Nohur,
SubhanAllah it is actually quite simple you know sis. I wondered the same thing too and an ustadha answered my question for me.
The sunnah of smiling at your brother or sister when you see them depends on whether you are a brother or a sister. It is sunnah for a sister to smile at a sister and a brother to smile at a brother. But as Muslims as you said we are advised to lower our gaze with the opposite sex so this does not apply with members of the opposite sex. And Allah knows best.
As for how we should react with the opposite sex - that's not to say we be rude with them as some of us do. That is taking it to extremes. We should keep interaction to that which is necessary and be polite with them. If a brother says salaam to you then of course say w/salaam but avoid beautifying your voice. As long as you are modest then InshaAllah it's fine.
And Allah knows best.
Sara
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I agree, Sara. This makes sense to me.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
ASSALAMALAIKUM-at one's Muslim brother's and sisters when we are taught its haraam-
THERE IS NO CONFUSION DEAR IT IS ALLOWED TO GIVE SALAAM AND WISH ONLY TO MOHRIMS NON MOHRIMS -ARE OUT OF QUESTION BECAUSE THIS WILL ONLY RAISE THE HOPE OF MISCHIEF BY SATAN.
WHEN THE NON-MOHRIM GIRL SMILES AND WISHES THE OPPOSITE SEX IS ENCOURAGED AND TAKES THE STEP TO COME CLOSE AND THIS IS CALLED MINGLING OF SEXES[LIKE RELIGIONS OF THE REST OF THE WORLD]FOR WHICH THE HIJAB IS PRESCRIBED BY ALLAH.
And speaking to women might be a way to adultery, especially when these women are unveiled, and when the talk is of the kind that is stimulating desires, feelings and emotions.
Islam has forbidden anything which can harm believers? Not only has this, but the Almighty God had forbidden anything which could lead to this harm. He, therefore, forbidden adultery and all things that can lead to it; man looking to women who are non-mahrams* and repeating these forbidden looks may lead to thinking about adultery.
There is another matter that leads to adultery and incites to it; the unveiling of women and the exhibition of the seductive pars of their bodies that stimulates the desire of men. Thus, the prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) forbade that and even considered unveiled women (women exposing their beauty) will not smell the scent of paradise! The Prophet (peace be upon him) said about signs of the Day of Resurrection and women who are dressed and undressed (even if they are dressed they look nude because they expose the seductive parts of their body) slanted and slanting, there heads are like humps of camels, they neither enter paradise nor find its smell…) [Narrated by Muslim].
THIS LAST PARAGRAPH WILL HELP YOU UNDERSTAND YOUR ANSWER EVERY WELL- Narrated Umm Salamah, Ummul Mu'minin (Radhiallaahu Ánha): I was with Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) while Maymunah was with him. Then Ibn Umm Maktum came. This happened when we were ordered to observe veil. Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) said: Observe veil from him. We asked: oh Rasulullah! is he not blind? He can neither see us nor recognize us. Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam)said: Are both of you blind? Do you not see him?
Ali Youssuf, what is the evidence that is it haram to give salaam or return salaam to a non-mahrem? I never heard of this before.
Imagine, in a city where there are only a few Muslims living among non-Muslims. A Muslim woman goes out to the store, the bank, and other places and is forced to interact with non-Muslim men and speak to them frequently. And a Muslim man similarly speaks to non-Muslim women in the course of daily life. But when they see each other in a public place, they are supposed to ignore each other? So they speak to the non-Muslims but ignore the Muslims? That makes no sense whatsoever.
Are Muslim men and women supposed to live like enemies? Like people who hate each other? Ignoring each other, not speaking to each other?
I think it's ridiculous and I will not accept it unless you bring an explicit proof from Quran or Sunnah. If you cannot bring a proof, then do not try to pass off Pakistani or Indian purdah culture as deen!
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Ali Yousuff,
Had Allah wanted us to walk around and live in miserable enclosed shells away from other people, He could have put women on venus and men on mars.
Lets not be silly and isolate ourselves from our fellow humans, muslims or non muslims, men or women. Islam shows us an easy and nice way to live together. So don't make life hard.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
What islam forbid is talking or smiling with an opposite sex in a lustful way... Speaking to opposite sex in a dignified and resonable way is highly acceptable, since the prophet himself has done this...
Trying to sound funny, smiling to everyone, is totally acceptable. There was a time an old woman came to the prophet and ask him, "oh prophet of God, do old women enter paradise??". The prophet (wanting to a kind of joke with the woman said) "no, old women do not enter paradise." then the woman started crying, (the prophet with is smiling face) told the old woman that if any old woman makes it to paradise, Allah is going to restructure her, and make her young beautiful woman (of age 33)... And the woman was happy.. So its not haram taking with an opposite sex, provided there is no lust of haram desires intended.
Again, its not haram if a person is speaking with opposite sex because he wants to marry her (provided in their statements there is no lustful and dirty words). . . Its also allowed for a woman to propose a marriage to a man, since this has happened to the prophet himself, and he did not forbid it. .
OK she was old woman. If she were young woman he wouldn't gave spoken to her like that.SShe was elderly old woman
ASSALAMALIKUM-
PL NOTE-THIS SYSTEM OF INTERACTION MUJST MADE HANDLED BY MEN AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE- BUT WHAT YOU MENTIONED IS HERE AND ANSWERS BELOW-
Imagine, in a city where there are only a few Muslims living among non-Muslims. A Muslim woman goes out to the store, the bank, and other places and is forced to interact with non-Muslim men and speak to them frequently.
The woman should speak without elongating the words, making her voice soft, or raising her voice. It is haraam for a man to listen with enjoyment, for fear of fitnah (temptation).
There is fear of fitnah being provoked by this greeting, then the woman should refrain from either initiating or returning the greeting, because warding off fitnah by neglecting the greeting is warding off mischief, and warding off mischief takes precedence over doing something useful.
Abu Hurayrah reported that Nabi (saw) said ".....The eye does zinaa by the looking, and the ears do zinaa by the listening, and the zinaa of the tongue is to talk and the adultery of the hand is to touch and the zinaa of the legs is to go to (the forbidden place) and the heart desires and the private parts confirm or contradict that" (BUKHAARI, MUSLIM)
If genuine necessity requires that a man should communicate with a non-mahram woman, it should be from behind a curtain. Allah Ta'ala declares: "And if you should ask them for something, ask them from behind a curtain" (S33:V53).
However, the most fundamental law of hijaab for women is declared in the following declaration of Allah Ta'ala: "And you women remain firmly within your homes" (Surah Ahzaab:33). Thus a woman must remain within her home and only emerge for that which the Shariah has allowed. The West will term this aayah as an oppression of women (Allah forbid) and will insist upon women having their "freedom" to be shoulder to shoulder with men in every walk of life.
Youseff,
I am very limited as to what I can say here as I am typing from my phone. But your argument is very weak and you are using ayahs and hadiths way out of context.
Do you even know that Khadija(ra) was a successful business woman who used to interact with non mahram men and travel across borders for this purpose. In fact it was through her business that she came across Rasool(sws) and made a proposal to him for marriage.
Your idea of 'a woman going out when necessary' is a very culturally confused one. Furthermore, everytime a man (be he muslim or non muslim) greets a woman, does not constitute as zina. Women play a very important role in society, as mothers, wives, teachers, doctors, neighbours and other roles too. Through their everyday lives, they also have the opportunity to do dawah. Many people come to Isla because of how they see Muslims behaving.
On the other hand many people run away from Islam because some are unsociable and miserable and cannot even manage a smile or a 'Hello'.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaams,
Since I have to work (no choice in the matter), I guess I better put up a curtain around my cubicle so everything will be on the up and up. Oh, and I will ignore my male boss when he greets me, and then when it's dark out and the male security guard offers to escort me to my car for safety reasons, I will decline just in case he checks me out en route.
Seriously though, if sisters like myself were to follow the guidance you are giving exactly to a tee, a lot of families would be in chaos.... at least here in the US, and many other western countries I would assume. It's totally impractical, and would make doing basic daily affairs almost impossible.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
My Brother Ali,
Please feel free to disagree with me on this if you think wrong or offer further comment if needed.
Especially in a western society where many women, if not most women, even professional women, dress provocatively, a woman wearing a hijab offering a civil, cheerful greeting of a man in work situation or returning a greeting when passing on the street would not be tempting him into zina. Men so inclined would likely be leering at the fifteen year old girl wearing shorts and a tight sweater and not be tempted by the greeting of an appropriately dressed women. Not responding or ignoring people might be taken as being distant and aloof, and/or could have the negative effect of projecting Islam as oppressing her to people she encounters.
HOWEVER, Allah knows your heart. If a woman wearing a hijab were to offer a greeting, no matter how innocent it sounded, if in her heart she had even the hint of zina on her mind, then she should refrain from offering such a greeting.
American Muslim
ASSALAMALAIKUM- I THINK MY DUTY IS TO FORWARD THE TRUE ISLAMIC LITERATURE ON THE SUBJECT PL ANSWER ALLAH AND ON THE DYA OF THE JUDGEMENT ANS ALSO NOTE THE NAGER OF NABISALAHAUALAIHIWASALAM -
Since nothing but what is apparent may be shown (i.e. hands and face) the garment must be thick enough so that we cannot see the color of the skin it covers or the shape of the body. Once the Prophet (pbuh) saw Asma, the daughter of Abu Bakr, visiting Aishah while Asma was wearing a dress that was not thick enough. He TURNED AWAY HIS FACE IN ANGER PL NOTE CUBICLE AND ALL IS NOT THE POINT HERE IT IS ISLAM-
"If the woman reaches the age of puberty, no part of her body should be seen, but this," and he pointed to his face and his hands. Another time when the Prophet (pbuh) saw a bride wearing a thin dress, he said, "She is not a woman who believes in Surat-un Nur who wears this." He also described the future condition of the Ummah which would be straying from the injunction of the Islamic dress code. "In later (generations) of my Ummah there will be women who will be dressed but naked on top of heads (what looks)like camel humps. Curse them for they am truly cursed."
It is not befitting for a believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Apostle, to have any option about their decision: if anyone disobeys Allah and His Apostle, he is indeed on a clearly wrong path. (Surah Al-Ahzab, 33:36)
If you think Hijab is an act of submission, you are right! It is a way to submit to God. Like any other act of worship, the rewards of Hijab come only when it is done for Allah alone.
From remote villages to cosmopolitan mega cities, women all across the world, from every ethnic background, wear Hijab. Do all of these women cling to old cultural practices? Hijab, the internal and external aspects, take understanding, training and determination. Since the purpose of Hijab is to please Allah,doing it for tradition is wrong.
Hijab is a 'challenge to the political system'
While Hijab may have political implications, as evident in the banning of Hijab in certain countries, Muslim women who choose to practice Hijab are not doing it to challenge the political system. Islam encourages men and women to observe modesty in private and public life. Hijab is an individual's act of faith and religious expression.
I am liberated from slavery to 'physical perfection'
Society makes women desire to become 'perfect objects'. The multitudes of alluring fashion magazines and cosmetic surgeries show women's enslavement to beauty. The entertainment industry pressures teens to believe that for clothes, less is better. When we wear Hijab, we vow to liberate ourselves from such desires and serve only God.
I don't let others judge me by my hair and curves!
In schools and professional environments, women are often judged by their looks or bodies-characteristics they neither chose nor created. Hijab forces society to judge women for their value as human beings, with intellect, principles, and feelings. A woman in Hijab sends a message, "Deal with my brain, not my body!"
I feel empowered and confident
In contrast to today's teenage culture, where anorexia and suicide are on the rise, as women attempt to reach an unattainable ideal of beauty, Hijab frees a woman from the pressure to 'fit in'. She does not have to worry about wearing the right kind of jeans or the right shade of eyeshadow. She can feel secure about her appearance because she cares to please only Allah.
I feel the bond of unity
Hijab identifies us as Muslims and encourages other Muslim sisters to greet us with the salutation of peace, "Assalamu Alaikum". Hijab draws others to us and immerses us in good company.
No one has said anything about not observing hijaab Yousuff. So what is your point here?
Of course, part of the manners of male/female interaction is to observe hijaab.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Ali, you are debating an issue that no one has challenged. We all believe in hijab. What we reject is your misogynistic view of women as dangerous creatures who threaten the social order. I wonder if you are a member of the Taliban? Because you sound exactly like them. Women should not leave their homes, should not speak to any non-mahrem, should exist in society like invisible ghosts, never seen... I wonder if you are also against educating women or letting them work?
What you are pushing is not Islam, and I will not have such extreme cultural prejudices being taught on this website. The debate is over.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Be very careful brother on Islam , stubbornness in Islam has a great warning. We should be very careful in the way we look and interpret Quran and Sunnah in the way we want to justify and the way want to apply it. This is a simple topic, in Islam there is no room for being social with different sex only in absolutely necessary. We must not look at our desire or what benefits us or what we feel is right , or blame it on the condition on who we live with its simple. I advise and a reminder for my self blindness may come to you through Din , be very careful how you look at things and how you feel, you may be developing the wrong emotion and the narrow view that wasn't the vision of our beloved Prothet Peace be upon him.
Ali bruv,
Women in Islam:
- Must practise hijab
- Right to education,
- Right to WORK,
- Right to spend their money on whatever pleases them
- Right to vote
- Right to choose their own husband and NEGOTIATE marriage terms of their choice
- Right to obtain divorce (tawbah)
- Right to have or give their OPINION IN A PUBLIC gathering
- Right to keep their surname after marriage
- Right to go to religious gatherings, i.e. masjid- their husband cannot stop them
- Right to have their own property
- Right to personal respect
Seeing all those above RIGHTS, how can a woman in Islam to achieve them if she is not allowed to talk to non-mahrams?
Women in Islam are allowed to talk/ discuss matters with non-mahrams (with complete respect, modesty and professional manners) so let alone just greeting.
Best wishes,
parveen
Also brother you have to stop giving the wrong emotion or opinion without detailed knowledge of what happen in that time of Sahabah may Allah be pleased with them.
We have to stop looking at what suits me or this not fair or that's not fair. Yes women can do many things but the emotion required to elevate the Iman must correspond to the way of Allah.
What you have mentioned above there is strict aspects of your points justify what you are saying and not the emotion you put forward.
Please please be very careful on the comments we make
I think Ali is a Tabligi, who believes that women should not go to mosques and only be home taking care of the household. I hate to say this, but many South Asians seperate themselves from majority of the Muslims, thinking their way of Islam is correct.
Please to avoid narrow vision I advised Do some research on your remarks. And ask what was the suggestion and the emotion our Rasul SAW, put forward to the women regarding your comments.
Now remember you can read things and understand them the way you want to understand them unfortunately this most of the time will give us a response of our own interpretation due to our a
Lack of knowledge and connection with Allah SWT.
assalamalaikum i am not tablighi any belong to any sect-
This i send to everyone in face book who say ladies must not go to mosque this authentic hadees proof The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam) understood the agony that a mother goes through at such times. That's why he (Sal Allaahu Alayhi wa sallam) said:
"When I enter the prayer I intend to prolong it. Then I hear the crying of a child, so I shorten it knowing the difficulty his mother will have with him crying." (Bukhaari)
And aren’t we supposed to warmly receive a newcomer, and make them feel wanted and welcomed….especially one who is just coming back to Islaam?
Isn’t being kind and tolerable, the very basis of our deen....the very essence of our Da'wah?
And in our area we have made a mosque and we have arrangement for ladies also-
Islam teaches moderation, not extremism. If we are approaching it extremely we are making it hard for ourselves.
The other day I was reversing my car and a sweeper (muslim) said Assalam o alaikum to me, and I replied wa-alaikum assalam with full respect and decency. Similarly many cases occur on daily basis, if I would have been smiling with all my teeth out and prolonging my talk with no apparent reason it would have been wrong. I would never initiate an interaction with a non-mehram but I would reply to him in a respectful decent manner if he does the same.
Islam is a religion of balance and peace. I don't why people tend to make it difficult for themselves and for others as well. In the end, individual's own deeds count and their niyyat and no one can judge someone else's niyyat except Allah (SWT).
Assalam o alaikum.
Yes your almost there but not quite getting the motive of this topic. Islam I's not a religion of personal desire and if followed properlly it is perfect in every factor it avoids any oppurnity of any spark of corruption .Yes the you may no the sweeper and it be hard to stop saying Salam to him because that be rude maybe you no him for 20 years or what ever he is old. No one is. Judging you, Allah SWT tells us to practice din completely. Yes it may take time to get on it and changing our habits but a Muslim must never be content on his amount on din. Islam is very peaceful but avoids every door of evil.