How can I achieve marriage with no contact whatsoever?
Assalamu alykum,
Well to begin with, I know this guy from the time I was studying in my 8th standard, he was my neigbour and is my neigbour even now. As years passed by we used to at times just smile at each other. This was when I wasn't very Islamic and then later on it so happened that we started loving each other, but would just look at each other and smile and at times just communicate in sign language, we never spoke to each other, never met...actually I'm settled in Saudi and go for vacations ony for 11/2 months to India where this guy lives so it's like I stay away from him and don't even see him for most of the year.
As I grew older alhumdulillah I grew more and more closer to Islam and started to know about what's wrong and whats right. I repented, alhumdulillah, but even today when I go to India at one point or the other I have had to face him and at such times I immediately turn away from him and get inside my house or veil or whatever you want to call it.
I liked this guy but since he wasn't very Islamic I never ever had any plans to marry him. On this vacation, due to my blunder that I made we got talking and now the situation is such that this guy wants to marry me. I told him that I won't marry him unless he becomes a good and a pious muslim and alhumdulillah he agreed, and said that he is changing as well. We used to talk but suddenly one day I stopped talking because I knew that I was doing wrong, but the guy wants me to talk to him.
Inshallah, I won't start talking, but by not talking to him and even after cutting contacts with him can I pray to Allah for his hidaya? And pray to Allah to make him my husband, make him the person best for my life and my hereafter?
I don't know why but for some reason I can't stop thinking about him and at times I feel really badly that I want to talk to him but alhumdulillah I control myself from doing so. Is it right for me pray and make such a dua?
Though I am not talking to him, not looking at him and not meeting him, I still feel a strong wish to marry him.I don't know why because marrying is not the solution here because I want him to change first completely and then come to my house to ask my hand in marriage.
For some reason I don't want to give up on him and I keep praying.
What am I to do??
pls help
~Ayesha
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Salaams Ayesha
I dont think you are doing wrong you just have doubts, you want to improve on your deen which is good. One point i will say is dont make him change for you, ask him what he wants and what do you really want to move forward. I will suggest to you is ask him to ask for your hand in marriage to your parents house, do not lead him on this wont be fair and you running away wont solve the situation, face your fears honestly. There is nothing wrong with you getting to know him before marriage while he comes to your parents house etc. People do get betrayed once they get married it is very important to know you are marrying for the right intentions and the right person, may both your hearts remain for each other and the rest is for allah. I hope this has helped.