My nikah was done without me, is that valid?
Hello everyone !!
It has been 3 years that I am married but in the recent two years I am very confused about my nekah. Before my marriage I did not know my husband and had never seen him. When my uncles and dad wanted to do my nekah I was only 16 , and I was in London but my husband was in Afghanistan.
My dad sent a text message to my uncle in Afghanistan behalf of me saying that she is saying yes for nekah, but I did not know anything about that text message and my dad never told me. So basically I have never said yes to my nekah and I am really confused now. I also did not wanted to marry my husband but I was scared of my dad.
Please tell me if i have to do a nekah again or should I leave it the way it is.
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Salaams,
It sounds as if your uncle and your dad cooperated in getting you married and you were not aware of it until after the fact. According to hadith:
The Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) said, "A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission." The people asked, "O Allah's Apostle! How can we know her permission?" He said, "Her silence (indicates her permission)." (Volume 7, Book 62, Number 67: Narrated Abu Huraira)
˜Aishah (R) asked the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wassallam) if women must be asked for their permission of marriage. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) replied, "Yes". She said, ‘The virgin is asked for her permission but she gets shy. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "Her silence is her permission." (Bukhari and Muslim)
This is understood to mean that if your father had approached you before arranging the nikkah, and asked you if you would marry that person, and you said nothing, it would be considered as permission. If you had said yes, of course it would be your permission. If you had said no, it would not have been your permission and according to the hadith, you should not be married against your permission.
In your case, he didn't even ask you for permission. Most would say that if you are not able to give your full and willfull consent to marriage, it can't be valid. But just to let you know, there are other aspects that lend validity to a nikkah than just the issue of permission and having a wali represent you. Did you get your mahr (dowry)? Were their two witnesses besides your father who served as wali? These would also be required to make the marriage valid. If you aren't sure if your marriage is valid or not, the best thing to do is explain your situation to a local imam or mufti and get their opinion on the matter.
My question to you is, now that you are in this situation, are you pleased with your "husband" and would you like to remain with him? If so, you can re-do the nikkah and make sure that you are giving consent during the ceremony. If you are not happy with him, you may have grounds for an annullment. Again, I would check with an Imam about that if it's what you wish.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salaam, from what you have said i gather that you are married against your will,
My dad sent a text message to my uncle in Afghanistan behalf of me saying that she is saying yes for nekah, but I did not know anything about that text message and my dad never told me.
since you did not know anything about the text, your father did not consult you about the nikah, and therefore took it upon himself to say yes on your behalf, the above hadeeth quoted by sister amy, clearly states that the father must ask permission, and silence is taken as yes, but from what you say he never consulted you at all, hence he made the decision on his own will and thus making the nikah invalid.
Furthermore you have said your marriage took place through fear of your father, so you sacrificed your happyness for your father, considering it was a man you had never seen i would say it is a cultural thing and your father kind of pushed you into it, yet again making the nikah invalid.
Finally, in order for a muslim marriage to be valid, their must be 2 witnesses present apart from your wali, where they ??, i would say if you are happy with your marriage then you should do your nikah again to make it valid, however if you are not then you have every right to have the marriage annulled, and you may seek a husband elsewhere.
My advice is based on what you have said, and from that i would deem the marriage invalid, however this is my viewpoint and only you know what happened, if what i have wrote applies to you, then you should make your decision and have control over your rights as a muslimah.
MeenaKhan,
I suggest you consult with a qualified Imam immediately about the validity of your nikah as laws of marriage are very complex, so such a case is best assessed by a learned person.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salam sis.
The nikah is valid. The important thing for nikah is the permission to marry for both sides. Even if theres no presence. If you permit it but one the day of marriage let's say you go to the hospital without attending the Wedding, its still valid.
Zayn, read the post again. The sister never agreed at any point in time. So how is the marriage valid? There is no marriage without consent in Islam. Also, were there witnesses as Islam requires? Was a mahr paid? We cannot just give snap fatwas without knowing the facts. In fact, we do not give fatwas at all on this website.
The sister needs to see a scholar who will consider all the factors and make a decision.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
If she don't agree then simple, no vaild marriage, read my post too, I said if theres permission from both sides
Assalam o alikum
I want to ask u 3 sal pehly meri kisi larkay sy bat hoti thi maine unintentionally mazq mein text per nikah kr liya age 17 thi ab 20 ha koi witness ni mehar ni tha kya ye nikah valid ho ga please let me know or ab mujy talaq leni chahiye?? Kyu ka ab mujy parents k mutabiq kahi shadi krni ha
Please write it in English, so non Urdu speakers can help.