I turn my hand into a gun, aim it to my head and then pretend to shoot myself
Salam,
18/Female. Living in the USA. I am mad at everyone, mad at the world, mad at me, I hate everything wallah and as you can tell - I hate my life. I have family problems; I want to escape the world. I believe I'm ugly. And when ever I pass by a mirror out of habit I look at it tell myself "You're ugly. Why are you alive? You should die." And then I randomly turn my hand into a gun and aim it to my head and then pretend to shoot myself.
I am to sick and tired to finish this story, too much in my head. I feel like dying. I don't know what my motive here is while i'm asking my question. I think I just lost my mind.
Ya'allah. Maybe this isn't enough but if I can get more help from further information, get at me.............(Email deleted by Editor)
Salam.
~Allah's Slave
Entries(RSS)
Assalamualaikum,
Astakfirulla!!!! U hate yourself? Ur ugly? U want to die? I don't believe this, you saying you are "allahs slave" but you not following Allah. You have no right to kill your self. It's Allah ,who gave you life ,how could you think of this? You are only 18 , real life has not started yet and you thinking like this? This world is not that easy but of any body want then they can make it easy.
Try to focus on salat, read quaran if you can, try to think positive way look at the sky and make dua and tawba yourself not to mention this kind of attitude. Never think you are ugly, Allah made us everyone with self personality and looks. You should thank to allah what you have " shukuralhumdullilah" Most people dont have leg, hand, eyes things like that but you got all in good.
Have faith in Allah ask for forgiveness , you will see Allah will show you right path, and if you think like negative Allah won't listen to you because you asking for wrong thing.
May allah bless you.
Walaikum asalam
Salamu'alaikum, sister, you are a Muslimah, a slave of Allah, a follower of His Messenger. Are you not thankful to Allah that you have these characteristics?
I see, you have a lot of problems with life. At 18, this feeling is common. I had the same feeling too, but that is when I was 16. Family problems, people yelling at me and me yelling at them. Staying aloof, even friends used to say ' c'mon, speak up'. Always dreamt of fantasies, discussed problem with a best friend, walked along with him in the streets of Khamis Mushait. I laugh now, at all those feelings. Because I now understand that Allah only tests those that He loves. And I Hope from Him that He Loves me.
If you practice Islam (pray five times, follow the general rulings, love Allah and His Messenger Sallallahu 'Alaihi wasallam, and so on) then you can just have patience in these tough situations. Control your anger, whenever you get angry, say 'A'oozu Billahi min ash Shaytaanir Rajeem' meaning 'I seek refuge in Allah from Shaytaan, the outcast). Do not think you are ugly. You are a creation of Allah. Think about the Sahaabi Bilal bin Rabah al Habashi Radiyallahu 'Anhu. Think about other Sahaabah like him. Allah is Pleased with them and they are pleased with Allah.
Patience, and that's what you require. Who do you think is beautiful? The ones in Hollywood? The ones who do modelling? Then know that you have what is more beautiful than them. It is a Muslim heart. The only problem is that there is clutter over it, which has to be cleared.
Right now, all you can do is increase your visits to an Islamic Organization or a Mosque, get along with the righteous women who come there, gain knowledge from scholars, and so on. If the scholars are not there, then you can listen to audio tapes or online lectures to soften your hearts. Logon to http://www.madeenah.com and listen to some, follow websites such as subulassalam.com, fatwa-online.com, and many others.
Additionally, keep yourself busy with the worship of Allah and His Remembrance. Grab a book of du'as called 'Fortress of the Muslim' also available in different languages on http://www.islamhouse.com
Doing all this will help you make yourself up and will help you strengthen your Imaan, and will help you fight the forces of Shaytaan and will help you clear the clutter from your heart, thereby making it open to the Guidance of Allah Izz wa Jall.
May Allah Guide you and keep you on the Straight Path
Aameen
Wassalamu'alaiki
Muhammad Waseem
Salaam sister. Take a deep breath, and smile, or at least fake a smile. What you're going through right now is all a part of a test, and you should remember that. Sometimes even I forget, as for instance I was depressed today due to some non-worthy mentionable personal matters, but do I sit down and cry? Alhamdulillah no, I went to this site, and help others. others with problems worse than mine. Sometimes that's all we should remember actually, there Are other people who are being tested much Worse than you right now. Do you know what's happening in Syria? How many countless dead bodies are there? Martyrs; all of them.
The problems that you are facing right now are Too many problems. Some might exist, some just might exist in your head. Well, why are you mad at yourself? Did you do something sinful? DId you not pray? What did you do that made you so unbearable to yourself? I think the first step here is to love yourself. Mirrors are created so that we can see what Allah gave us. A pair of eyes, nose, mouth, and we should be thankful. Google up some images people having tumors, or cancer or any kind of disease, and you will appreciate what Allah gave you. You said you are ugly. But you are just at that age, where every one will Think they are ugly, have something they are conscious about. You just have to focus on the positive things in life. Count your blessings, clear your mind and heart. You are only 18, you have a Lot of Obstacles and Tests to go through, trust me. There will be other times where you feel that you want to give up. Well, remember the big picture. The afterlife. This Life, this life we'r living in right now, is not a fair on with the discriminations, and politics, and abuses, so look forward to the Fairest life-the after Life. I'm always so scared thinking about it. What do you think? You as a muslim must have faith, Imaan, and positive attitude. Our Prophet Mohamed (PBUH), never stop smiling. Do you think he is tested Less than us? I doubt it, but here we are (you and me both) thinking of ending it the only way we know how-suicide. Sometimes we need a stranger-friend like this, to make us realise, we are Not alone in facing Allah's tests. A Lot of people have problems, not just us, and as a muslim, we need to find a solution for that. So try that today, instead of pretending to kill yourself, why don't you pretend to live? It's written in Quran that for all diseases, there is cure.. Hope you find it soon.. Try to read Quran with its translations, enshallah it will help.
Allah knows best
Salam Beautiful,
I am a mother with a son who is a year older than you who goes up and down with depression. He has good days, great days and days when I can look at him and know that he is deeply troubled. I don't know how to reach him other than to let him know that I am here 24/7 to talk to about anything. I will never judge him, just listen and offer my advice as a mother.
Can you talk to your mother about the way you feel? Do you think that she would be willing to hear you out in regards to what you are thinking and how you feel about yourself? There is absolutely no shame in doing so at all. If not, do you have a really close friend that you could talk to? Sometimes just having someone to talk to is a huge help in itself.
I strongly advise you get a full blood workup at your doctors. Sometimes, if vitamin "D" is low, it can affect your mood greatly. I know you are thinking..."nah", but seriously it does. Read this article
http://www.ehow.com/list_5973323_signs-symptoms-vitamin-deficency.html
Scroll down and read about the deficiency of vitamin D under moods and depression. I'm not saying that you are deficient but, it is definitely worth looking at. As far as dealing with things within the home, that is something we all deal with...even me.
Don't blow it off love, make an appointment today and just see...you have nothing to lose.
Hoping you feel better...Salam
Email me? Please. My mother isn't the type to listen without feeling like I've done something horrible and I don't have friends.
I removed your email. Please do not post your contact info here. Anyone could contact you, and you have no idea who they are.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Salam Beautiful,
So sorry the moderators on this website do not allow giving out email addresses. It is for your own protection. I am sorry that you can't talk with your mom, I could never talk to mine either. I think that is why when I was a young girl I decided that when I had my own family, I would be nothing like my mother.
So...you are eighteen, do you go to college? Do you have any goals or aspirations? Tell me a bit more about you (if you wish) and why you are feeling the anger that you do. Where is all this anger coming from?
Hoping you had a better day today...Salam
Dear sister, As-salamu alaykum,
You have received some good advice. I just want to direct you to a few articles that may help you. First, our article on Suicide in Islam. It has a lot of good advice that I think will help you. Secondly, see some of my articles from IslamicSunrays.com on self-image, gratitude and similar issues:
You Are Perfectly Created
Try to count Allah’s blessings in your life
I'm still me
No one else can define your reality
Agents of hope, agents of despair
There are many other articles I think would help you, but start with those.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Assalama-laikum sister.... I would like to tell you any muslim women is beautiful. Also I know you are not ugly...what makes you say this??? As a young beautiful lady you should know you have eyes to see,a nose to smell,ears to hear,and a mouth to eat... there are some people who dont have this and cry to Allah.But you Sister dont have any of those problems so why do you call yourself ugly? Remmeber sister those who thank allah get more and more awards,then those who are ungrateful. I would like to tell you after every namaz read this dua atleast seven times and put it upon yourself.....
`yalaho ya ' musaviro
This dua will also help you,but remmebr to thank Allah and ask him for forgiveness for your sins...