Islamic marriage advice and family advice

The idea of marriage frightens me

FearI am a muslim girl and i have never been in a physical relationship with anybody but whenever i think of marriage it gives me tremendous fear of being committed to one person forever.....it makes me feel drained out rather then make me feel excited....

so why am i facing these negative thoughts although its true that i want to be loved by someone....

please help me out if you can or should i consult a psychiatrist?

-ConfusedSoul123

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4 Responses »

  1. Assalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatu.

    I'm just gonna paste a very, very beautiful answer given to a similar question previously on this site.

    A brother says, "What you are experiencing is normal. Your husband is most likely going through the same as you. It's not just you. All you have to do is remind yourself that you're in control of the situation and don't have to do anything that you don't feel comfortable with. What you can do to calm your nerve is by having a chat with your husband when you get married."

    A sister says, "This is a feeling every married woman goes through.. I'd been through the same when i was getting married. . It's pretty normal as we girls are bought up this way that we don't get social with men and the feeling of a stranger touching you brings nervousness.. This is a very beautiful moment for you when you get married hence it will be very good that soon after you get married you talk to him get to know each other and when you guys actually think of getting close just be open with your thoughts with him regarding your feelings in a very polite way and try to come to a way where you both can have fun and enjoy."

    "But whenever i think of marriage it gives me tremendous fear of being committed to one person forever.....it makes me feel drained out rather then make me feel excited."

    I figure you more likely than not seen ridiculously terrible spouses and after that you envisioned yourself being married to them. That is the Shaytan's waswasah, sister. You ought to ponder on verses on spouses in the Quran, sister! That's why the Shaytan's waswasahs. If you had truly observed a spouse with a beautiful Islamic character (I don't mean with a major unkempt facial hair!), you would die to be with him for eternity!

    Salaam.

  2. It would help to know how old you are. You sound to me like you are in your late teens or very early 20s, in which case, it's normal to not feel ready for marriage. But I wouldn't say monogamy should scare you...I don't think that's an entirely normal feeling to feel. Why is it that monogamy scares you? Why are you scared of the idea of committing yourself to one person?

  3. Because you did not find someone sincere person who give you the soul attachment with a lot of care. Your mind and thoughts will be changed after getting it..

  4. Marriage is scary for everyone, since its a huge life decision without knowing the outcome will be. Its natural. But, you scared to be committed to one person? So, how many did you have in mind?

    So many women who found their love say, they can never be with anyone else except this person only. But, you say the opposite. If a guy said that, i can understand. Never did I expect from a sister. Well, its first time for everything.

    Once you find someone, and have children by the will of a Allah. Your views will change. One thing with human mind. Our hearts, thoughts change constantly. Nothing stays the same.

    Maybe you should see a female psychiatrist. Discuss this issue.

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