Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Is polygamy still allowed?

polygamy

Salam,

I just had a quick question for everyone. I understand that Islamic Men are allowed to marry any woman who believes in one God, and does not necessarily have to be Muslim. I just wanted to know religiously why is this permitted for only a Man? (Not that I'm complaining just curious) I believed it to be because the family follows the Male, so his children with this woman will automatically be born into Islam.

I also had a seperate question. Polygamy these days. Is it still really accepted? I mean it was used in our Prophet's (pbuh) time due to the war and many many women were left widowed. But these days? Not to be disgustingly judgemental but I think a lot of people do it for the wrong reasons, just to have more wives.

Thank you in advance for your answer,

Hannan


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8 Responses »

  1. Salaam hannan., i want to tell u dat we are really honored 4 u trusting us and asking us ur questions here in dis site., i will do my best 2 answer u diplomatically. . . . . . . It is true dat men are allowed 2 marry women from d people of d scripture (jews and christians) but d vice vasa is not true for a number of reasons. . . . . . . .(1) b/c d man is in d control of d family and wife mostly do what her husband orders her to do., for dis reason, d husband (if non muslim) will ve d influence of frustrating d wife (if muslim) in matter of her deen. .ie she might not ve d complete freedom of following d rules and regulations of her religion. . . . . . . . . (2) d wife (if non muslim), will only have to rectify her beleive about jesus and beleive in him as only a slave and a prophet of God., just like as she believe in moses, abraham, solomon, david, and other prophets of God. . . . . . . 3) since d wife(if non muslim) is coming to d muslim home, she only need to believe in just one additional prophet after prophet jesus (which is prophet muhammad SAW,,, since she has already believe in d other prophets that came b4 jesus) which is very easy on her part than a muslim woman going to a non muslim home. . . . . . . . . (4) d children are most likely to follow d religion of d father (if muslim) since he is d head of d family. . . . . . . . . . . . . . Regarding yours 2nd question, men are allowed to marry up to four wives b/c of d following quranic vearse,, ""......THEN MARRY WOMEN OF YOUR CHOICE, TWO OR THREE, OR FOUR:, BUT IF YOU FEAR THAT YOU SHALL NOT BE ABLE TO DEAL JUSTLY (with them), THE(marry) ONLY ONE........ . Suratul nisa (ie chapter 4 of d holy quran) verse 3

  2. Salaam hannan.

    As far as I am aware Muslim men are allowed to marry Christian or Jewish women because he is the head of the household. Of course it is strongly recommended that he marry a righteous Muslim woman as the Prophet SAW advised. Muslim women cannot marry for the same above reason. And Allah knows best.

    "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. You should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser. "(Bukhari)

    Polygamy, is allowed in Islam and a man can have up to 4 wives. I am sure it still is acceptable as we cannot say that something is now haraam without proof. I understand though that its a sensitive issue for sister. I too feel somewhat sensitive about it but we cannot dispute that it is allowed in some cases - providing that the husband is completely 100% fair in the way he treats his wives. Additionally he must find the wife in the appropriate manner and be sensitive to both his wives feelings. This is very difficult, and I agree that some of these men probably marry for the wrong reasons.

    I agree that it is unfortunately abused quite a lot and many men get angry when their wives get upset. Of course the wives will be upset - for most women its devastating. As long as these wives are not causing trouble I say to these men, be understanding, and in my opinion don't marry again unless necessary.

    In a nutshell, it IS acceptable if certain conditions are fulfilled, but it is abused a lot.
    I hope this answers your question InshaAllah - feel free to write on this page if you need to.

    Sara
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. I have a similar question as Hannan...What kind of a woman likes to be a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th wife. There's always going to be jealousy. Men do definitely abuse it. They have a wife back home, and marries another one in the U.S. Or where ever to get a green card and then divorces her. What a shame these men do.

    • As salamu alaykum, Tammy,

      The woman that wouldn´t mind to be the 2nd, 3rd or 4th, is that one for which polygamy is allowed in Islam, those widows or divorced women with children or without that nobody want to take them in marriage because they have belonged to other man. Here I saw the comment of a lady that was the first wife and she didn´t want her husband to marry other woman, she became widow with little children, now she said, I woudn´t mind be the fourth woman of a man, women left alone with children due to wars, ....

      Tammy not all the women are living a comfortable life, many women struggle around the world to feed their children and themselves alone, this kind of women are the one that wouldn´t mind to be the fourth wife, I can put myself in their shoes, Alhamdulillah.

      Polygamy is a serious issue and it takes a big responsibility for a man, should be done following the right rules and under the respect and equality everyone of the people involved deserves. You can research information about it reading the Prophet´s(saw) life, insha´Allah.

      All my Unconditional Love and Respect,

      María
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Please, related to men don´t generalize, not all the men are the same, are many straight men in the world that don´t deserve the blame of generalizations, I can say the same related to women.

        We women are the mothers of men and women, we should take the responsibility of that, giving them the right values to be the best they can be, the same with the women, insha´Allah.

        Thank you for listening.

        María
        IslamicAsnwers.com Editor

  4. Assalamu alaykum,

    1) Yes, Muslim men can marry chaste (and not lewd) women from among the People of Scripture (Jews and Christians).

    Why men can marry and women cannot? Why so?

    Only Allah in His divine wisdom knows why so.

    As far as my personal opinion goes which may be 100% wrong - women are more soft and inclined to adapt to the traditions of the husband's and inlaws' side and so a Musim woman marrying them would mean making her way towards the Fire and the reverse, those women turning to Islam would mean making their way to Paradise. So Muslim men can marry from the people of the scripture and same is not for Muslim women. Allah knows best.

    2) Polygamy acceptable?

    Yes. If a good Muslim man marries to improve the state of the women of the ummah, as orphans, widows, singles who need husband and protection or else there are chances they may fall in to evil, if that is done seeking good pleasure of Allah. It is very much acceptable to Allah. Insha Allah.

    It may not be acceptable to the society, but we are Muslims, we have to please Allah.

    Yes, some brothers do take undue advantage of the permission to marry up to four to satisfy their desires and justify their love affairs outside marriage. But Allah is not unaware of what His slaves do. Their case is with Allah.

    It is as valid today as it was in the Prophet's (peace be upon him) time.

    Allah gives option to women whose husbands have more than one wife and teaches men how to deal in the best way with more than one wives:

    128. If a woman feareth ill treatment from her husband, or desertion, it is no sin for them twain if they make terms of peace between themselves. Peace is better. But greed hath been made present in the minds (of men). If ye do good and keep from evil, Lo! Allah is ever Informed of what ye do.
    129. Ye will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much ye wish (to do so): But turn not altogether away (from one), leaving her as in suspense. If ye do good and keep from evil, lo! Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.
    130. But if they separate, Allah will compensate each out of His abundance. Allah is ever All Embracing, All Knowing.

    Also, he shows us qualities of women worthy of marrying the Prophet:

    5. It may happen that his Lord, if he divorce you, will give him in your stead wives better than you, submissive (to Allah), believing, pious, penitent, inclined to fasting, widows and maids. - Surah Tahriim.

    The society and culture may try to make it look like a sin, forget about praising it, but Allah loves men and women who sacrifice for the sake of their Lord, seeking His good pleasure. So it depends on each individual.

    The more a woman sacrifices for the sake of Allah - the more her rewards, the more a man sacrifices for the sake of Allah (not to fulfill his lusts) - the more his rewards. And Allah is the best at reckoning and best at giving rewards.

    Hope the advice is helpful and the question asked is answered.

    Salaam.

    * * *

    Therefor give good tidings (O Muhammad) to my bondmen, who hear advice and follow the best thereof. Such are those whom Allah guideth, and such are men of understanding.- Surah 39, Az Zumar, verse 17-18.

  5. According to the scholars whatever is in your cultural traditions is also automatically a part of your marriage contract. So if monogamy is the norm in your culture then monogamy is a part of the marriage contract automatically so a man from such a culture can't marry a second wife because monogamy is already in his marriage contract as a condition by default. Even if the wife has not stated it as a condition in the marriage contract it is still considered as a condition because cultural norms are automatically part of the marriage contract

    ''This is based on the principle of Islamic contract law that: "What is known by custom is the same as what is explicitly stated as a condition." Ibn al-Qayyim discusses this legal principle at length in I`lâm al-Muwaqqi`în, where he clarifies the case of the Prophet (peace be upon him) prohibiting `Alî from taking a second wife while being married to his daughter.''

    Taken from:
    http://en.islamtoday.net/quesshow-83-887…

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