What is the difference in choosing a non-practising Muslim to marry over a non-Muslim?
2: 221. And do not marry Al-Mushrikat (idolatresses, etc.) till they believe (worship Allah Alone). And indeed a slave woman who believes is better than a (free) Mushrikah (idolatress, etc.), even though she pleases you. And give not (your daughters) in marriage to Al-Mushrikun till they believe (in Allah Alone) and verily, a believing slave is better than a (free) Mushrik (idolater, etc.), even though he pleases you. Those (Al-Mushrikun) invite you to the Fire, but Allah invites (you) to Paradise and Forgiveness by His Leave, and makes His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) clear to mankind that they may remember."
There are a few things I don't understand.
Why is it that even though Allah (swt) is the most merciful, forgiving, and understanding and even allows people of all faiths to enter Jannah if they are people of benevolence, why may we not choose them to be our life partners? They are good, and not to be arrogant or anything, we are good for the most part. Then why can't these relationships happen? Why does faith play a role in this? Should it not just be based upon the goodness of the person?
If Mohammad (sallalallahu alayhi was sallam) had interfaith marriages be it with people of the Book what makes it wrong to be with people not of the book? He married good people. Why can't we? Didn't their religions differ greatly from ours still? (I'm sorry I am not fully knowledgeable as to if they converted and if they did then I apologize--if that could be clarified please and thank you!)
And if it's because what will be passed down onto the children, then why can't both religions be passed down, and the decision be left up to the child. Wouldn't that make more sense? Instead of inherently believing one's religion would it not good if we chose to believe in our religion because it brought about good in the world? And even if they didn't choose our religion--why would it matter as long as we made them the best children as possible. They would still have the values of Islam just not the practices.
Would it not be understandable for Allah at the least if not for you people that the marriage is one of good people that want to do nothing more than pass good throughout the world? People of other religions may not directly follow our religion but they do the extent that they spread love and goodness through this world. Is that not good enough?
Oh and what would be the difference between marrying a muslim who doesn't pray, doesn't do many of the requirements of Islam--as of many, many marriages are today, and marrying outside of one's faith?
Thank You For Any Responses!
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Rocklee, pardon me for saying so, but you don't seem to have had much of an Islamic education or upbringing. I don't say that as an insult, merely an observation, as you don't seem to understand the essence or the purpose of Islam.
Islam is, first and foremost, the belief in One God, and in our duty to worship Him, be grateful and be obedient.
Allah says in the Quran: "And I have not created humankind and jinn for any reason but to worship Me."
That is the very purpose of our existence. If we raise children who worship Jesus (peace be upon him), or Buddha, or anything other than Allah, then we have utterly failed as parents, because we have failed to give them the most important thing of all, our belief in Tawhid. It's not just about raising our children to be good people, or have ethical behavior. Of course Islam is a moral code as well, and that is important. Belief and action should always be coupled. But it starts with belief. Our actions must be dedicated to our Creator. Our good deeds in this life must be done with an awareness of Allah, seeking His pleasure.
To a practicing Muslim, the idea of raising children with two religions and then saying, "Take your pick," is madness. Would you offer your children Paradise and Hell, making them seem equal, and then telling them to choose either one? It makes no sense.
Rocklee, you seem not to regard Islam as the true religion, rather you seem to regard it as one equal among many. Perhaps you are Muslim not out of choice but only because it was passed down to you. This is very different from those of us who consciously take Islam as a faith, believing in it wholeheartedly, and regarding it as a priceless gift from Allah.
Allah says in Surat Al Maidah, "This day I have perfected for you your religion and completed My favor upon you and have approved for you Islam as religion."
Islam is the religion that Allah Himself has chosen for us, and revealed to us. As Muslims, we believe it to be the truth, and to be superior to all other religions and ways of life. All other religions are corrupted by falsehood and man-made ideas. Only Islam is the pure way of life revealed by Allah.
Our actions in this life must be reflective of that, including our choice of marriage partner, and the manner in which we raise our children. Otherwise we have missed the very point of our Creation, which is to glorify our Creator in all that we do.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Your response was disappointing. All you did was the normal.....Insult the questioner (saying no offense doesn't mean there wasn't offense) and say Allah is the one and only, all other religions go to hell. Really disappointing. You are not Allah. You do not decide who goes to heaven and hell. I don't care what the quran says about this because it also says Allah knows best and is most merciful and forgiving...... You didn't even really answer my questions.... Islam is built upon good deeds and benevolence nothing more. It's purpose is to make us good people that do good for this world, and in the process thank Allah for it. Anyone that believes that the MOST MERCIFUL AND FORGIVING GOD THAT WRITES OUR DESTINIES would send good people to hell is consumed by the mere words of the religion not the concept of it. I fail to see how God would send--i don't know--half of this world or more to hell because they were of a different religion. It just doesn't go with his teachings of peace and understanding. If he cannot understand how much it would take to convert to a relgion against the wills of one's parents and one's upbringings--the same way it would be hard to go against islam then what's the point in believing in his mercy or understanding at all.
Just to add on to this if the mere purpose of our creation was just to please Allah woudn't that be a little weird? It's as if he were just toying with us...giving us life just to see if we worship him or not. Allah could not be like that since he is the greatest omnipotent being out there.
1. I did not insult you. If I did, that was not my intention.
2. You put a lot of words in my mouth. I never said that all other religions go to Hell. In fact I never mentioned Hell at all, so what are you going on about? I think you are responding reactively to things you have heard from other people, not what I wrote.
3. I am not the one who said that the purpose of our creation is to worship Allah. Allah Himself said that in the Quran (51:56). You say you don't care what the Quran says about this... so there's not much I can say, because the Quran is the source of our religion. It's not up to us to accept certain parts, and reject others. If you do, it's not me that you are hurting. It has nothing to do with me. It's between you and your Creator.
I am sorry that my advice was not helpful to you. You seem to have fixed ideas about how people should behave, and you seem to want Islam to conform to your ideas. However, that's not going to happen. If the religion had been according to our own whims and desires, we would all have been ruined. Allah is wise and knew exactly what He was doing when he revealed this deen.
"...and who is more astray than the one who follows his own whims and desires, devoid of Revelation?" [28:50]
Peace,
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
1. Rocklee, pardon me for saying so, but you don't seem to have had much of an Islamic education or upbringing. insult. keep your observations to yourself that has nothing to do with my question mr. polite.
2. "Take your pick," is madness. Would you offer your children Paradise and Hell.
I'm sorry am i seeing things here?
3. This doesn't respond to the bulk of my question/questions at all...you seem to just like pick away at what i mention.....have you really answered anything at all....? I think the one that has fixed views about this is you. Non believers go to hell and only believers go to Paradise. Interfaith marriage is not permitted because you are marrying a non believer--who will go to hell--and will only push you towards hell even more. Right? Have you ever considered the reason as to this? It is not up to us to accept parts of the religion? We are expected to accept the parts that go against the meaning of peace, merciful, and unforgiving?
My whims and desires? I have posed a question that you have no answer to but for the same repeated words...I want to know why you just give me the what
Ok... I have a busy day today but I'll try later tonight to answer all your questions one at a time, Insha'Allah.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Both are losing out in my opinion, a muslim who no's his/her deen but just wont practise it and gets married with the promise of completing half his deen, its just a waste, and the non muslim i would not want to risk that one at a time when are religion is under attack and we are made out to look like something STRANGE people from the stone age, While all around us people are soooooo enlighten, i dont feel the need to compromise an inch in my religion, and as for enlighten i live in London and if any of you have been watching the news one of the major capitals of the west is on fire and when you ask the people doing this why you will get no answer, Who is enligten in this world. sorry for the rant.
Okay, I've tried to answer your questions clearly, one by one, without any judgment of you, Insha'Allah:
1. Why is it that even though Allah (swt) is the most merciful, forgiving, and understanding and even allows people of all faiths to enter Jannah if they are people of benevolence, why may we not choose them to be our life partners?
Because Islam is the religion that Allah has chosen for us.
Allah says in Surat Al Maidah, "This day I have perfected for you your religion and completed My favor upon you and have approved for you Islam as religion."
So if Allah has chosen Islam for us as a religion, then it stands to reason that He wants us to choose partners who will help us on that path, and walk it with us, and work with us to be the best Muslims we can be.
2. If Mohammad (sallalallahu alayhi was sallam) had interfaith marriages be it with people of the Book what makes it wrong to be with people not of the book?
Are you asking, if the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) married one of the People of the Book (Christian or Jew), then why can't we marry a Hindu (for example) or Buddhist? If so, then the answer is that Allah gave a general prohibition against marrying non-Muslims, but made a specific exception for Muslim men to marry Christian or Jewish women. Even then, the Muslim scholars have said that such a marriage should take place only within a Muslim-majority society, otherwise there is too much risk of the children going astray.
If you mean what is the rationale: the People of the Book are religions who follow a Prophet of Allah, and a revealed book. It's true that their books have been altered and their religions corrupted, but they are still Abrahamic faiths and many are sincere in their desire to worship God. Therefore Allah gives them a status above that of other non-believers and Muslim men are allowed to marry them within certain limited circumstances.
My experience has been that the majority of the time, when Muslim men marry Christian women, the women end up converting to Islam. I think this is partly because Islam and Christianity come from the same tree of Prophethood; and we Muslims believe in and respect Jesus as a Prophet; so it's not a great leap for a Christian to embrace Islam. However, other religions are far away from Islam, and do not have a shared history. There is no common foundation. Maybe this is one of the wisdoms of allowing Muslim men to marry People of the Book. I can only speculate. Allah knows best.
3. And if it's because what will be passed down onto the children, then why can't both religions be passed down, and the decision be left up to the child.
I've already answered this. It doesn't make sense to pass down truth and falsehood at the same time, and let a child choose. Would you teach your child that the earth is round OR the earth is flat, and let them choose? No, we teach them what is true. The guidance of Islam is the greatest gift that we have been given in this life. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said that if all the heavens and earth were placed on one side of a scale, and Laa ilaha il-Allah on the other, it would outweigh them. Many, many Prophets have been sent through the ages. All of them struggled against the falsehood of polytheism, and strived to bring people to the correct path.
Allah says, ""The Jews call 'Uzair a son of God, and the Christians call Christ the son of God. That is but a saying from their mouth; (in this) they but imitate what the unbelievers of old used to say. God's curse be on them; how they are deluded away from the Truth! They take their priests and their anchorites to be their lords in derogation of God, and (they take as their Lord) Christ the son of Mary. Yet they were commanded to worship but One God: there is no god but He. Praise and glory to Him! (Far is He) from having the partners they associate (with Him)" (9:30-31).
Allah has cursed those who worship Jesus (peace be upon him). Should I then pass this on to my children as a valid option? I would be harming my own children, not helping them.
Yes, we give our children knowledge of other ways of life, so they will be forewarned. My daughter is only five, but I tell her about Christianity and what Christians believe, and I tell her that we treat all human beings kindly regardless of their faith; but I also tell her that Islam is the true religion, and that our duty in life is to worship Allah, and that although others may be sincere in their faith, they are mistaken in their beliefs.
4. And even if they didn't choose our religion--why would it matter as long as we made them the best children as possible. They would still have the values of Islam just not the practices.
It matters very, very much, because belief in Allah's Oneness is the biggest part of what He asks from us. He has given us everything: life, sustenance, health, opportunity, guidance, and the only things He asks in return are gratitude, obedience and righteousness. Righteous action is a part of faith, but it is not the entire package. If I'm doing good deeds in life but I'm worshiping an elephant god, an idol, and giving the idol credit for all that is good in my life, then where is the gratitude to Allah? Where is the truth? Where is the acknowledgment of all that my Creator has done for me?
We were created primarily to worship Allah. Allah wanted a creature who would acknowledge and worship Him out of free will; and whom He would bless and love in return. Doing good deeds on earth is something we are commanded to do, it is important, but is not the primary reason for our creation. Doing good deeds is a necessary product of our faith, but not the root. The root is Tawhid.
Someone came to the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and said, tell me a thing which if I do it, I will enter Paradise. The Prophet (pbuh) said, "Say: I believe in Allah, then be upright."
So if I raise a child who does not worship Allah, who does not acknowledge His oneness and obey Him, then I have utterly failed as a human being and a parent, because I have failed my most important mission in life, to pass on this truth: Believe in Allah, and be upright.
5. Would it not be understandable for Allah at the least if not for you people that the marriage is one of good people that want to do nothing more than pass good throughout the world? People of other religions may not directly follow our religion but they do the extent that they spread love and goodness through this world. Is that not good enough?
Obviously it is not good enough, since Allah has said in the Quran:
"And do not marry polytheistic women until they believe. And a believing servant woman is better than a polytheist, even though she might please you. And do not marry polytheistic men [to your women] until they believe. And a believing servant is better than a polytheist, even though he might please you. Those invite [you] to the Fire, but Allah invites to Paradise and to forgiveness, by His permission. And He makes clear His verses to the people that perhaps they may remember." - Quran 2:221
6. Oh and what would be the difference between marrying a muslim who doesn't pray, doesn't do many of the requirements of Islam--as of many, many marriages are today, and marrying outside of one's faith?
Both are wrong. A Muslim who doesn't pray or follow the Islamic requirements is just barely a Muslim, and may not be a Muslim at all, depending on his motivations.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Very good response brother Wael . Though it is old post but still worth sharing below information
Some zakir naik videos about this
Can you marry non muslim
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8iRChZQh1I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5WZ3uGJvI8
Will Muslim go to Paradise & Non-Muslim go to Hell Dr.Zakir Naik
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adOgXODsCxw
Rocklee bro
U r lost i mean deep lost
U r only wasting our time n yours