Secret Step Children
Step Children
AsslamuAlikom,
Before I met my husband I had 2 sons. When we decided we wanted to marry he wanted to keep them a secret from his family so they would not disapprove of the marriage.
I was against it but ended up giving in with the notion it was temporary.
Well it has been more than 3 years and I have had enough.
- Skinnycow34
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Salaam sister
I have 1 daughter who does not live with me because my ex husband stole her off me custody battle and I am a new Muslim sister of two years now hamdollilah and I am getting married inchallah to a never before married man and he is a Muslim hamdollilah and Mashallah good practicing Muslim man. He told his family that I have a daughter of a previous marriage and his family is ok with it and he accepts her my daughter as our own daughter hamdollilah. This takes a real Muslim Man who is strong in his faith and loves Allah and Fears Allah's mercy upon himself to do as he wishes to please Allah that is Halal to have children from a previous marriage first of all. secondly, it is haraam for your husband not to be a honest good Muslim towards his family including you. For your information I am 24 and my future husband is 34 inchallah we will be married and never will my daughter be kept s secret as I had her halal and she is my number one and no matter what happens she will always be inchallah my first daughter. Of course if you know Allah shall provide for all and if your husband has no faith in that then he is not a well informed Muslim. How would your husband like it if he was kept a secret from his family??? Would he like it ??!! No surely not. Wake up sister and pray to Allah Istikhara if this man is right or wrong for you. That's food for thought. My allah grant you peace and mercy inchallah JazakAllah kheir.
Zainab: " For your information I am 24 and my future husband is 34 inchallah we will be married and never will my daughter be kept s secret as I had her halal and she is my number one and no matter what happens she will always be inchallah my first daughter"
Are you going to get him citizenship or some thing?
Sister,
Your husband is a selfish man. Keep your kids a secret? I cannot even begin to comprehend how much that hurts you inside...I actually wanna cry. I think it's time that your husband grow up and accept that he married a wonderful woman who has two wonderful sons, even if he is not their father. They are your sons irregardless and to keep them a secret is wrong on so many levels.
Salam
asalamu alaikum,
keeping the children secret was the biggest mistake. tell your husband from here on out the children will no longer be considered a secret. i think your husband has no intension of telling his family about your 2 sons. afterall its been more than 3 years. a man who cant man up take his responsibilty and proudly say he has 2 step sons to his family, is just a coward.
ma salama
May be the husband belongs to a culture where marrying a Virgin is important. OP should discuss it with her husband and find a way to share this secret information.
Assalamualaikum sister,
When he agreed to marry you while you already had sons, he should accept the challenges associated with the relation. Delay in disclosure will lead to more complications and it will be more difficult for him to inform his parents.
He should inform them about your sons now... Talk to him and remind him that things will only be worse if he delays further.
Abu Abdul Bari
IslamicAnswers.com Editor