Islamic marriage advice and family advice

18 and Obsessed With Porn Since Puberty

Internet pornographyAs-salamu alaykum

For starters I am an 18 year old teen obsessed with lust and what not. I have been like this since I went through puberty. I came to become aware of porn sites from couple of friends and it seemed cool and chill as we didn’t mind it much. Moreover I wouldn’t agree of watching porn or anything to my friends relatives or even girlfriend.

The main reason for this post is the guilt and regret I have on doing everything like this for so long. The girl who I love (which I really hope I love her and not for lust) came into my life and we were together for almost 2 years now. We started with small hugs but sooner it became kisses and that made me triggered to have more connection. But soon when the girl realized she tried and turned to Allah and asked for forgiveness and she still does, whereas me on the other hand is still obsessed with porn and lustful thoughts.

I have lied a lot to her and friends of mine. I do skip prayers and feel no importance to read or recite or even to make dikr. We still are together but it makes the relationship harder to maintain as I am more into lustful activities and she is the total opposite. It is even harder to think of marrying this girl as we are not from same nationalities.

I want myself to be aware that there is a God and try and make things halal for me and her, as I don’t want to spoil her life due to my actions and thoughts.

- hunter101

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10 Responses »

  1. So basically you just a horny, sex maniac who gets a kick out of playing with yourself. Sad truth, you have already spoilt her. Dating isn't allowed yet shes no longer pure. I know i may seem harsh but nowadays youngsters are so deluded its beyond crazy. You should get married if you can although one needs to mentally prepared. Also so many topics on this subject

    Don't behave like an animal. Control yourself as best you can.

    • Ahmed, that is a completely unhelpful and unkind answer. I am putting you on moderated status.

      Wael
      IslamicAnswers.com Editor

      • Completely unhelpful? Telling him to get married if he can, try to control his desire, other topics on here regarding similar post etc completely unhelpful? DID YOU PULL THAT OUT YOUR ASS?

        People like you extremely disgust me. You only replied due to my comments otherwise you wouldn't have given an answer.

        The best you came with, porn is an addiction. The chemical in the brains? To a certain extent it may be true. BUT.. You didn't give any advice regarding stopping it, nor did you mention about his girlfriend despite saying he doesn't want to spoil her despite being spoilt already. Last but least he said about missing salaah an having no importance in missing them. What are you doing in order for him to re-connect to Allah? Making him make dua to Allah firstly would have been extremely beneficial, but all you came with is Jack. Total jack.

        Look, Allah created humans on desires and so many give in to desire and temptations. Not to forget the constant whisper from the shaytan. Seeing those fake women on porn. Most men have fantasies, an want to experience something similar. You gonna say that's also psychological? The chemicals in the brain?

        You are being passive in your so called advice,over looking important aspect.

        Some time you have to approach in a direct manner, showing tough love.

        You can put me on whatever list you want. Doesn't mean anything, an definitely not gonna let something like you sway my thoughts.

        • Ahmad, by insulting me and shouting at me, you just proved my point. You have some good ideas about WHAT to say - for example, to make salah, reconnect to Allah, and resist the whispers of shaytan. All good points. The problem is that you have no idea HOW to say these things. You have no akhlaaq or Islamic manners. In giving advice, tone is equally important to content. If you have no kindness or compassion, the other person will never hear what you have to say.

          Personal attacks (to the original poster, and to me) are not only unhelpful, they are un-Islamic and completely opposite to the Prophetic way. You have a lot of learning to do.

          You have two strikes now. One more and you´re banned.

          Wael
          IslamicAnswers.com Editor

          • Insult and shout? Did I type all in caps? Is that a threat? BAN ME. YOU SERIOUSLY THINK MY LIFE REVOLVES AROUND THIS SITE? SO CALLED ISLAMIC SITE BUT MOSTLY ITS PERSONAL OPINIONS, NOT ISLAMIC APPROACH. PROPHETIC WAY? ALOT TO LEARN? I DON'T HAVE AKHLAAQ AN MANNERS? YET MEAN THE SAME, WHY PUT IT AS 2 DIFFERENT THING? I GUESS IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE. SEEMS LIKE YOUR EGO GONE TO YOUR HEAD. YOU DISGUST ME. JUDGING ME IS ALL YOU CAN DO.

            I DON'T INSULT, BUT IF YOU FEEL INSULTED THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.

          • You have been banned. I wonder what happened to you? You have been on this site a long time and you used to give balanced and helpful advice. Maybe you are going through a difficult time personally? If so, may Allah bless you and guide you.

            If at some point you feel ready to return and behave yourself, contact me privately and I´ll reinstate you.

            Wael
            IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • ...I guess I'm not so bad compared to this guy, haha :D.

  2. Dear brother, as-salamu alaykum. You are suffering from pornography addiction. It is a genuine addiction which elicits chemical changes in the brain. It is also a psychological sickness.

    The best cure for this sickness is to re-establish your relationship with Allah through dua, salat and fasting. Make dhikr as much as possible. Make tawbah, even if you have to do it again and again.

    Don´t think about marriage at this moment. You are not ready for that.

    We have published many, many posts on this subject on this website. Please search our archives and you will find many good answers inshaAllah.

    Wael
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

  3. Assalaaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatu.

    You have to be consistent with raising your emaan, brother and that would prevent you from Fahishah. So find a deed to raise your emaan and hold on to it.

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