Muslim fiance betrayed me
I am a non muslim, I was supposed to get married to him this year, he is a muslim. We were together for 3 years we already meet each other families and everyone knows we are getting married soon.
He is a very nice guy he thought me alot of muslim and he say he know how to be faithful and he love me alot I love him alot, until last month he told me he is love with a chinese collegue in the same company.
I am also working in the same company and everyone knows we are going to get married, when thsi thing happen everyone start laughing at me, but he dont bother he come to work with her eat togather and go back together I have beg him plead with him but he dont bother, his family also dont know why is he doing this, as for me I resigned the job already I cant see him with a another girl we already make arrangments for our wedding, but I dont know why is this happening to me, I know he is not that kind of person even if he wants to cheat me why after 3 years, it already been 3 months but I still crying and praying every day. I am jobless and my savings with him I don't need money I just wish that he would change and come back to me.
Please may Allah change him
~Siva
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Asalaam alaikum,
You need to realize that if this is the way he treated you before marriage, then just imagine the heartache that Allah (swt) has saved you from by not getting married to this man. Please see this as a blessing and not a curse or anything of that nature. You may not know it through your tears and heartache, but you've already won as God has shown you his true character.
Try to find solace in that fact and start to rebuild a new life for yourself. Anyone who would tease you or make fun of you is not your friend, by the way. Instead, focus on yourself for the time being, and try to enjoy the simpler pleasures in life that you should be grateful for. In time, you will find the right man to love you, who will respect all religious bounds before marriage and will respect you in the same way.
May Allah (swt) grace you with patience and love, Sister Siva. I hope you find it in your heart to accept His decree and perhaps, to also understand that through His Divine Mercy, God is leading you closer to Him. I pray that your relationship with Allah (swt) strengthens and that you'll be encouraged to also look into how the religion of Islam can help you heal your heart in the most magnificent way.
God be with you.
Salaams,
It sounds to me like you are suggesting that she stay in this man's line of sight in order to take him back if the liason with the Asian woman doesn't work out. Yet, you are also mentioning women with low self esteem...don't you think that for someone to "wait around" to take back a man who did this to her would be having low self esteem?
Any woman who values herself would not even think twice about trying to get such a man back in her life. Even if the guy comes begging, she knows that there are countless men who would've never done this to her, and would treat her the way she deserves through the relationship. Guys who act like this are not, in my opinion, a safe bet on being a dream husband.
The truth is, there are many men who wouldn't go off with another woman no matter what that other woman was doing to throw herself at him. They would see it for the desperate and shallow maneuver it is and run the other way. Those are the men this poster should be making efforts to find, not waiting around for the leftovers of what was hers to begin with.
-Amy
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
As salaam o alikum,
I agree with Brother Professor X and Sister Amy.
Sister Siva you need to say Alhamdulillah to Allaah (swt) for saving you from this man. Imagine if you were married and he did this. It isnt a good character quality of his to just out of the blue go off with another woman and act as if he did nothing wrong. Shame on him. Leave his actions up to Allaah (swt) to judge.
"If Allaah helps you, none can overcome you: if He forsakes you, who is there, after that, that can help you? In Allaah, then, let Believers put their trust."
Surah Al-Imran 3:160
Dear Sister forget about him and move on. InshaAllaah you will meet someone who will be worth your love and devotion and trust.
"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect."
Surah Ar-Rum 30:21
Allaah knows best!
Khuda Hafiz
Sister Hafsah