How do I approach my father to be a believer again?
As-salamu alaykum,
I have a problem: when my mother (a Muslim) married my father, a Protestant Christian, he converted and became a Muslim, alhamdulillah. My younger sister and I were brought up as Muslims by my mother. However, my father has long since lost his faith and is currently not religious at all, even though my mother has tried for so many years to put him back on the Straight Path. He never does his salah, never reads the Qur'an, etc.
I am about to go to college now, and before I leave my father I really want to sit down alone with him and convince him to become a good Muslim again, but I don't know what I should say or how I should say it...
Thank you for your help in advance my brothers and sisters 🙂
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MarcHussein, Walaykumsalaam,
Alhumdulillah you are concerned about your father, may Allah reward you for your sincere intentions. I am sure it must be both extremely worrying and frustrating seeing one of your loved ones, especially parents wandering from the path of Islam to kufr. I am not saying your father has left Islam, he may still be Muslim, but may have become weak - I do not know.
You must remember that it is only Allah who guides to the truth, we servants of Allah can only convey the message and will be held accountable if we fail to do this, as Allah says in Surah Al Qasas, Ayah 56: "Verily, you (O Muhammad [saw]) guide not whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills. And He knows best those who are the guided." If you keep this in mind, it will help you not to despair, as you will know that it is up to Allah whether your father comes to Islam or not.
With regards to helping your father turn back, I guess it is not always enough to just be a good Muslim 'quietly', hoping that your practical example of a good character will attract him back. Many a time, we need to do more and be direct. I am hoping you have a good comfort level with your father, so you can talk to him openly about life and death? What is stopping you from asking your father directly whether he still believes in Islam or not? I think you should ask him straight out, atleast then you will know where you stand. If he does still believe, then its just a case of Imaan boosting and giving reminders.
But if he no longer believes in Islam, then other issues will arise aswell; i.e. the validity of your mother's marriage to him, as she being a Muslim woman can only be in marriage with a Muslim man.
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So Bro, establish whether your father still believes in Islam or not and then take things from there inshaAllah.
May Allah guide us to the truth.
SisterZ
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
As salamu alaykum Marchusseim,
What I can add it is my support to your decision about talking to your father, you are old enough to sit and talk straight to him, don´t worry about what to say, you have been thinking on that many years, just be who you are and open your Heart to him. You have shared a life time with him, you have been watching him closely, now you are an adult, talk straight, loving and respectfully, listen to him and don´t pressure, this way you will let the way open to future interviews, insha´Allah.
You may not get the answers you want now, but more than answers give him reasons to think about it, put the seed in his Heart and maybe when you come back on holidays you would be the surprised one. Give him his time, be loving and respectful to him whichever is his decision, this way the soil will be soft and moisture and the seeds that you planted would be able to grow, insha´Allah.
All my Unconditional Respect,
María
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
Good advice.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
u cant convince ur father to b what he dont want to be ...
i pray that Allah wud guide u through