Can I See My Husband Before Marriage?
November 29, 2006
This question is answered by Wael Abdelgawad, the AskBilqis.com and Zawaj.com Editor and Administrator.
QUESTION:
Dear Bilqis,
Can I see my future husband before marriage?
- Nadia from Morocco
WAEL ANSWERS:
Dear Nadia, As-Salamu Alaykum wa Rahmatullah,
Yes, of course you can see him. I don't know how things are in Morocco, or if your culture is very conservative, but Islam allows the prospective bride and groom to meet one another and talk.
However, your meeting should not be in private, in other words it should not be just the two of you alone. You should meet in a public place with a chaperone, for example her parents.
You can talk about your ideas about life and your future, and your ideas about marriage, so you can find out if you are compatible for marriage and if you like each others' character.
Both parties must observe proper rules of Islamic hayaa and etiquette. That means controlling the gaze, not touching one another, and discussing only subjects that are "ma'roof", in other words nothing lewd or inappropriate.
If any readers have some additional advice for this questioner, feel free to post your comments below.
Glory to You Allah, we praise You, we bear witness that there is no God except You, we ask Your forgivess and we repent to You.
Best regards,
- Wael Hesham Abdelgawad, Administrator
AskBilqis.com Islamic Marriage and Family Advice
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Actually his parents being there or not doesn't matter and isn't important. The condition on which they can meet is that the girl's mahram has to be with her. Mahram is a relative (father) passed puberty to whom marriage is forbidden in the Qur'an. She should also dress according to islam for the meeting. The point of the meeting is not to fraternise or anything, it is just to ask each other their views so you know what the other person is like.
In the light of Islamic teachings there is no permission to meet, talk and share ideas about future life or any other talks with the future husband, Iam very sad to say that people only find Islam to make there exercise with sharias matter without the basic knowledge of Islam. I request M/s Bilqis to stop giving blunder fatwas
Kotch, please do not confuse your culture with Islamic teachings. What is your evidence? Remember, we are not talking about a meeting just to fraternise, as lehaska pointed out, but to share views with the intention of discovering if the other person is a good marriage partner. The woman must have a mahram present, and both parties should observe Islamic rules of hayaa. What problem do you find with this?
As salamu alaikum.
Hey Guys,
Jazakallahu khair for the thread. Just to be more clear and be well aware of the whole issue where does it specifically say that "Islam allows the prospective bride and groom to meet one another and talk". Because in the circles I sit, it is very important to know the source to discuss and share anything relating to Islam. I would much appreciate a reference that talks of the issue explicitly or implicitly, like an interpretation of some quranic verse, hadith or some occurence with the sahaba or the best of the generations after them.
Any help in this sense would be greatly appreciated.
Jazakallahu khair.
Assalamulaikum,
Indeed, Kotch posited misinformation. Especially considering the fact that during the time of the Prophet Muhammad (saw), and generations afterwards, men and women would in fact meet in the public areas (market place, transactions etc.). In cases, the reason was for education purposes. There were in fact female scholars and male scholars, both of whom would share their knowledge to both men and women. None of this occurred in private, sure, however it is an instance where opposite genders did in fact interact and discussed deeper material (ex. Islamic philosophy etc.). Kotch, you must provide your evidence, your points are not found in the Qur'an, nor even implied.
Thank you!
Kotch, please do not confuse your culture with Islamic teachings.