Dating a girl, having sex, not doing prayers
Life is as fleeting as these summer wildflowers that bloom for a short period, then die. We should plan for the hereafter as zealously as we plan for our futures in this life.
Question:
Salam,
I just wanted an answer to a question that I have about my relationship with my girlfriend. I know its haram for me to even engage with a woman on a physical level but I do it anyways.
I've been dating this girl for about 3 years and we've had sexual intercourse numerous times and I plan on continuing my relationship with her until I get into dental school, which is in about a year or so.
I've stopped praying, fasting, just about everything because Allah said that he hates hypocrites more than anyone else in this world. I feel that I would be a hypocrite if I prayed because I am knowingly coming sins on a daily level that has been absolutely been forbidden in Islam, yet I expect that my prayers would be valid.
This isn't something small like not lying or backbiting, this is oral and sexual intercourse DAILY. All I want to know is if I should keep doing what I am doing (meaning not doing anything Islamic) or should I be the best Muslim I can be in all other areas.
Again, I. have no intention of breaking up with my girlfriend or stop having sex so please don't just give me an answer about how I'm supposed to distance myself. If you could please let me know that would be great.
Thank you.
- Brother Habib
Wael's Answer:
Dear Brother Habib, As-salamu alaykum,
So for the sake of some physical pleasure you would cast yourself into Hellfire, throwing away all your deeds of this life, and dooming your soul?
Your hypocrisy is that you are thinking ahead when it comes to things of the world - you are studying, and planning to go to dental school in a year (does this woman know that you will dump her then?). You obviously care about your future. The problem is that you only care about your future in this world. You care about your degree, your career, etc. What about your soul? What about your disposition in the aakhirah? This life is very short, brother, it will flash by your eyes before you know it, and how will you then explain your disregard for Allah's commandments?
To answer your question in the limited way you presented it, yes you should continue your other Islamic obligations such as salat (prayer), sawm (fasting), etc. If my house suffers some damage, such as an infestation by termites on one side of the house, I'm not going to get a bulldozer and smash down the whole house, leaving myself homeless. And that's the thing that you don't seem to see, that by abandoning your deeen you are destroying yourself spiritually.
Brother, although your behavior is not Islamic, the fact is that you are still a Muslim. You are a sinner, but you recognize that. Zinaa (fornication) is a major sin, but does not throw you out of the fold of Islam. So don't throw yourself out of the fold. Continue doing your prayers and other Islamic obligations. It may be that in time Allah will touch your heart through those practices and you will make a change.
And Allah knows best.
If any readers have some additional advice for this questioner, I invite you to post your comments below.
(O Allah), Guide us to the straight path; The path of those whom you have favored; Not those with whom you are angry; Nor those who go astray.
Best regards, - Wael Abdelgawad
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Is there any forgiveness for all these bad deeds ??
Sister Ayesha: Allah is Al-Rahman Al-Raheem, Al-Ghafoor, and He forgives all sins. One only has to turn to Him in repentance and ask.
yes Allah(swt) forgives all the sins if one repents. brother try to stop ur sins just for one week and then try to become close to Allah(swt) by the time u become close to Allah(swt) then u'll know that how great and joyful is being close to Allah(swt) that nothing can be so great as this. and then u can controle urself from doing bad deeds. have mercy on your soul and give him once a chance to grow.
Brother, if you're so determined not to stop...why don't just marry the girl if she's muslim????
May Allah help you...seriously. And may He help us all.
"Oh Allah, Controller of the hearts, please make our hearts steadfast on Your deen"
Please reply back.I commited a MAJOR SIN MAJOR MAJOR I AM "SUNNI"...I repented then did it again now I red in the book of Al-Kafi
A person who is guilty, he confesses and undergoes the penalty for it in this world, and thus he will have atoned for his sins and will not be subjected to the torture of the hereafter. Even so, it is better if he refrains from revealing his secrets and submits his case only before the Almighty. He should repent, weep and beg for forgiveness from Allah. Insha Allah, Allah will forgive him. However, a person should not be complacent after seeking forgiveness. While he is hopeful of Allah's Mercy, he should be in dread of Allah's retribution and must continue to implore Allah to forgive him. In this way, he will attain a degree of piety and emerge a far better human being than he ever was.
IF I CONFESS 4 TIMES FRONT OF JUDGE WILL Allah S.W.T forgive me?I dont live in Islamic society..
i have a question..
i have been married since one year.. after geting married i came U.S and then i have come to know that my husband watch porn videoes i have seen him 4-5 times by my self but at that time i was so confused i could'nt say anyting to him i was surprised because i didnt aspect these things from him.on one day i asked him but he got mad at me and he refused all that things that i have seen. he said you are shaki. but cant say it shaki because i have seen by my eyes how could you say that i am shaki. and because of this pornography we dont have sex relationship anymore. sometimes i want to leave him but i love him so much please tell me what to do. i am sorry if i said amything wrong, i couldent share these things to anybody else please help me i want my answer as soon as posible. tell me any dua that will stop him from bad things and him the way that Allah and his Rasool hs told us.