We want to marry but her parents hate me
Her parents found out as I was beginning to convert and we were planning on talking to her parents on marriage but they stopped us from talking and refuse to even speak to me.
I'm now a Muslim, as is she, and we want to marry but don't know how to talk to her parents about it as they hate me.
Help would be appreciated and very welcomed! Thank you all.
-zeeda
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Assalamu alaykum Brother Zeeda,
Welcome to Al Islam.
This now seems to be a serious problem among Muslim parents. Not allowing kids to marry by choice. This is not fair at all.
If a person has good iimaan and the daughter is content with what the guy has on offer, why should the parents have problem?
Marrying to a good Muslim should be the top most priority, for the girl, as well as for her parents.
Brother Zeeda, you may make peaceful efforts to get the message across to her family through a person known to her family who may arrange for your meeting with them and make them understand.
It is difficult, but not impossible. Put your trust in Allah and wait for the best results with Sabr.
To people who want to marry the person of their mutual choice, I have always one advice: Both the girl and the boy should tell the parents: I would be happy to recieve your blessing for marrying so and so, if you bless me Alhamdulillaah, if you do not, I would wait for the day you bless us and marry us to teach other.
But you should really consider the facts before doing this, is the person worth waiting for?
There are important things we ought to do as Muslims and we should continue to perform our Islamic duties irrespective of whether a particular person becomes our life partner or not. We can pray and trust Allah.
He brings the night from the day and the day from the night, He is able to do all things. He provides you with food, various fruits, clothes, a home to live with, internet, phones, communication tools, livelihood, vehicles for transport and ease in life to perform your duties well as Muslim. So keep your duty to Allah, continue being a good Muslim, spreading Allah's word and keep living life side by side whether you get the person you want or not.
Remember, in Islam, next to du'aa to Allah or prayer comes Sabr. Patience. Not getting impatient for anything. Allah has set term for all things and in time we all shall know what is in store for us, Insha Allah.
17. O my dear son! Establish worship and enjoin kindness and forbid iniquity, and persevere whatever may befall thee. Lo! that is of the steadfast heart of things.
18. Turn not thy cheek in scorn toward folk, nor walk with pertness the land. Lo! Allah loveth not each braggart boaster.
19. Be modest in thy bearing and subdue thy voice. Lo! in harshest of all voices is the voice of the ass.
20. See ye not how Allah hath made serviceable unto you whatsoever is in the skies and whatsoever is in the earth and hath loaded you with His favours both without and within? Yet of mankind is he who disputeth concerning Allah, without knowledge or guidance or a Scripture giving light. - Surah Luqmaan.
You entered Islam, now love Allah the most, make Him the love of your life, do good deeds in HIs love, feed the poor in love of Allah, help the needy in love of Allah, pray in love of Allah, sacrifice in love of Allah.
Read the Qur'an with meanings, back up your conversion to Islam with sticking to the fundamentals of Islam and removing from yourself the unislamic habits of pre Islamic period in your life.
Insha Allah you will shine out in the light of Islam. May Allah guide you, help you, support you, love you and make you a Muslim who is an example for others to follow.
My good wishes for you brother. Do not get disheartened. If you need to talk anytime, Insha Allah do write me back.
Salaam,
Your brother.