I am in love with a Muslim man who loves me but his mother is not happy
I am a divorced christian woman with two children. My Muslim friend and I are in love he told his mother she said she will not talk to him if he will marry me. He loves my children, they love him, I love him, she accepts that I am a christian. When he told her of my two children she told him it could not work.
Is he able to ask his mother again after some time? Would his mother be more willing if I converted? I am not married anymore, my husband left me to have other women, and I tried to keep him.
Now I love this man and he loves me but his mother is not happy. Is there a way for me to please his mother?
~ purematch
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hi purematch
i hope you are doing well. You seem to be in a complicated situation. It is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a devout christian and Jewish women, as they are from the people of the book. But Islam has placed great importance on one respecting and keeping their parents happy by doing everything with their blessing and dua. it is said that for a Muslim man Jannah (heaven) lays under the mothers feet. Also we are taught in Islam not even they 'of' to our parent as they have brought into this world and loved and cared for for which we can never repay. Especially the mother who carried her child and went through hardships of labor and upbringing of that child.
The mother is concerned with the welfare of her son and also you and your children as she knows of the possible problems that arise naturally in all marriages, but with your children the situation will be more delicate.She might be worrying as to what will happen if your children's father wants to be in your children's life?What tension and problems could that lead to?Will that cause distance between you and him or him and the kids? Also If you stay christian, how will you and her son deal with the everyday differences of religion? Will you say eat pork and drink? Which is forbidden for him? All this all complicated and you both need to know that for marriage to happen and work you will need to compromise and understand each other as this is for life . Also what impact will it have upon the children.
'Would his mother be more willing if I converted?' If you want to concert to Islam solely to marry this guy. Then it is disapproved. It will be better if you start reading and understanding Islam. And see if you are then interested to convert to Islam inshallah Allah will open your heart to Islam.
About anyway you could please his mother maybe you could try to talk to her and get to know why exactly she thinks it won't work?And maybe if she is open to the idea she could meet your children with her son and see how much affection and bond is already present with this guy and your children and also get to know them to .That may soften her seeing her son and the kids bond.
Lastly i would strongly advise you to only marry if you have his mother's blessing and also read about Islam, sister you will see inshallah what is peaceful and beautiful religion islam is. I hope what i have written will benefit you in someway and please forgive me if i have given the wrong advise to you. I hope your problems will sorted soon
Purematch, to tell you the truth, I would probably take the same position as his mother. I don't think this is a good match. A Muslim has an obligation to raise his own children as Muslims. This is the most important thing. So if he marries you and the two of you have children, will they be raised as Muslims while you are Christian and the other two children are Christians? It's too difficult and too confusing.
Wael
IslamicAnswers.com Editor
I am in the exact dame position. I feel do bad for you guys this has caused major
heartbreak for us. We are on three years and no one even knows me.
I feel so rejected. I feel like he won't defend us. Why do the se guys even date us when
They know this will become a issue. I don't understand any if it. I just know that we are hurt
In this mess. I tried to leave and it's hard, but I know it's what should happen.