Islamic marriage advice and family advice

My friend doesn’t always reply to my texts

text message

Asalamu Alaikum,

I had a good best friend. He was really good and helpful, and I always used to go out with him to places. He was really a good friend, he always used to correct my mistakes. He made me go to the mosque, as he knew I didn't go to mosque- he said to me, "You should go to mosque as it's more rewarding than praying at home". So I listened to him and I started going to mosque, and I felt happier than before.

I was also getting judged by some people as they were saying I was "too religious" and things, and then I told my best friend about it and he said just leave and ignore them, that they are just jealous. He was giving me good advice about this life and akhira, saying that this life is temporary. He said if I got something to say about someone, I should say it to them in front of their face and not keep it in my heart. Also he said I should hold on to my deen like I am holding on to hot coal.

I listened to his advice and it made me stronger, and I was happy that Allah gave me a friend that remembers Allah and the prophet and the teachings of Islam. I had a problem, then as I am the person who texts him first and he sometimes responds...but some texts I send him he doesn't respond. I ask him how his has day been and things, but he doesn't respond to any of them. I just leave it until 4 days pass, then I text him again and he responds, and then we talk for about 2 days. I text him on the 3rd day then he doesn't respond again, so I just leave for 4 days again. Please help me, I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong.

Jazak Alllah khair,


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12 Responses »

  1. Are you a male or a female?

    If you are a female, then your friendship according to Islam is haraam.

    If you are a male, then you need to chill. You don't need to talk to him everyday. In addition, you can't force others to be in constant communication with you. Perhaps, your friend is busy. Perhaps he's stressed. The more you become clingy, the more distance you will create between the two of you.

    • I think his a male he wouldn't ask a female to visit the masjid a female gets more reward praying at home

      • Blackceena,

        Where does it say that a female gets more reward praying at home? I am genuinely curious. 🙂


  2. I think you should talk to that friend and ask him why he does that. Talk to him about that. And ask what you did wrong and if he doesn't still change then honestly his done a very good deed by helping you so you should just cool down and know that you shouldn't expect too much from people nor depend on them, not everyone you care so deeply for does exactly same for you

  3. I think the poster is a girl. If so
    He got bored with you and doesn’t want to develop friendship with you. Guys usually send mixed signals like this. One minute they will show that they really are into you and helping you, and then next moves on to another person. He is clearly not into you. Try to move on.

  4. Your friend got gay vibes so he ran. You have the characteristics of a female. You need to relax and increase your testosterone levels. If I'm being honest to you, you sound very needy and you don't have anything to offer to the friendship.

  5. Brother salamualaikum,

    I've had a very good friend since grade 7. I'm 41 now. We sometimes don't communicate for months. When we were young the only reason we communicated was was to do something plus there were no mobiles or anything. Even if there were, that's how guys go about. Don't worry he is and will be your friend without you reaffirming your vows daily! Whatever you do don't "talk to him about it" it's going to make things awkward. Perhaps you can take up memorizing one ayah each day. Before you know it, you'll have the most amazing, bestest, most wise, strong friend in the world and hereafter.

    Make the Quran your most trusted friend and they world will bow at your feet. Whenever you think of your present friend, make dua that Allah swt grants him and you jannah so you can hang out aameen.

    Hope that helps.

  6. As someone who's in your friend's shoes, I thought I would give you my two cents...

    I have a handful of friends that text me every single day just to ask me how I am, how my day is going, and to generally have pointless chitchats with me. While the thought is lovely, and I'm glad my friends like my company, these friends and their constant messaging are actually annoying me tremendously. Everyone leads a busy life and has things to do on a daily basis, so trivial daily messages about nothing are inconvenient and even frustrating. Like your friend, I have also started to not respond to my friends' messages when they text me - it's just too much to hear from them every single day, or even every single week. These people don't even give me a chance to feel like I miss them...because they are constantly in my face with their messages. So, what I would advice you to do is to back off a bit. Give your friend some space to breathe, and allow your friend to reach a point where he actually feels like he misses you and WANTS to talk to you. On own initiative. As it is right now, you're basically smothering him, that's probably why he's backing away from you. It's way too much to text someone every few days or even every week. I don't even talk to my bestest friend of 15 years every week...I work and have things to do, she works and has things to do, too. We probably see each other 3 times a year as well, despite the fact that we live literally 5 minutes away from each other.

  7. Assalaamu alaikum Text fan,

    Sometimes people are in our lives only briefly and this guy's purpose was to help you towards your journey to the straight path. You can't treat people like a crutch and have to learn to stand on your own two feet. He tried to help you but in return you became like a burden. Sounds harsh but the truth often is. Just allow people to breathe and you will find they will warm to you much more. Let's hope you haven't spoilt the friendship.

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