Should I believe his interest in me?
Broken trust?
assalamualaikum,
I am a unmarried girl. My matches are running meanwhile my uncle met a person. This person studied in & working in london & searching for a good match.
my uncle talk with him about me. he said after his haj he will meet with me. between this he spoke with me once. i am not yet believe him because he is from london.
While doing haj he spoke with my uncle lot of times after haj he never speak with my uncle. after 4 to 5 months i talk with him. He told me that he is cheated by a girl whom he likes a lot. Now the problem is he made a mistake with that girl he don't want to cheat her.but the girl taking time to get marriage.
Before i know these all things i ask him a help that is i want to marry him. but the situation is, he said that if i agree he wants make me a second marriage. i dont know what i have to do. but i have my problem is that i am a elder girl in my family my parents are searching for a good match but they are not getting.
please advice me, what shall i do? how much i believe him?
- Mrs. Nayeem
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Walaikumassalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu.
Sister,
please be patient.
inshaAllah you will find a good match.
and your question is not clear at some places
you said "Now the problem is he made a mistake with that girl he don't want to cheat her" what does this mean ? its not clear
and did he say that if you agree he will take you as his second wife ?
________
May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet, his family and Companions!
Assalam ualikum...Well He is ready to make you as his second wife not the 1st one...Be patient n take Help with prayer Allah will make available better man for you..Belief on Allah n ask Him Only..As HE could do it for u no one else.
Mrs. Nayeem
Are you already married ? I mean Mrs. Nayeem makes me curious ?
Sister, this guy is confused. It seems he is unsure aout marrying the other girl. My advice, dump him while you can (and before you get emotionally attached to te bloke) and find a better guy. There are tons of guys out there who have a better and clearer sense of direction in their lives and are confident with themselves, you should marry one of them.
No pne should waste their time with a confused guy . If he is hopeless in making decisions now, how will he handle difficulties later on life (and a polygamous marriage problems are even more complex). It seems he'll just make a weak and confused husband to both you and the other girl.
And why does he want to make you his second wife even before marrying his first? If he is so honest with you shouldn't he marry youfirst? It seems like he wants to possibly use you as in the West you will have no legal or financial support as his legally recognised wife if there are any problems in your marriage (and trust me there are more problems in an average polygamous family than an average monogamous marriage).
Please stop communicating with him yourself and ask your uncle or someone else from your family to deal with him. Women face all sorts of problems when they deal with the men themselves.
True that !! and our prophet warned them.
assalamalaikum
please advice me, what shall i do? how much i believe him?
JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE YOU ARE NOT TRUSTING ALLAH- IN SEEKING A DISCUSSED AND INTERACTION WITH NA MOHRIM-FOR YOUR MARRIAGE-
When love affects and invades all feelings- it is called passion AND INFATUATION-
and when it gets so deep and irresistible as to burn with the desire of union,
it is called fervor and enthusiasm.
As for the love that stems from repeated looking, haraam mixing or correspondence,
the one who does that is sinning to the extent that he does haraam things in his relationship and love.
Correspondence between the sexes is not permissible, because that provokes temptation and usually results in evil. If a man corresponds with a non-mahram woman in letters that are not seen by anyone else, that leads to many evils.
YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE PERSON WHOM ALLAH DESTINED FOR YOU
FOR THAT YOU MUST NOT SERACH AND FINALLY LAND UP WITH SOME 2ND MARRIAGE PROPSAL WHICH WILL EFFECT YOUR FAMILY AND IF HE IS NOT A RIGHT PERSON YOU WILL LAND UP IN DEIVORCE-
SO IT BETTER HAVE PATIENCE - ALLAH TO SEND YOU YOUR COMPANION OF LIFE-
THAT WILL BE SAFE-
REGARDS
ALI YOUSUFF