Islamic marriage advice and family advice

Should I forgive my brother?

My younger brother ran away from home about six months ago. He called the police on my family and has told people that our family physically abuses him which is not true.

Since this he has turned to alcohol and going to clubs and pre marital sex with his girlfriend, who not many of us like. His girlfriend has been disrespectful and rude to myself and my family.

I want my brother to come home but my family is stubborn and will not open to the possibility of forgiving him. I really want to forgive him and I feel like I should, but it puts me in a difficult position with the rest of my family.

I am a Roman Catholic but am not sure if that is for me I am learning about Islam and practicing in my own little ways.

I don't know what to do about my brother. I know as a Roman Catholic we are always taught to forgive, but as a Muslim what should I do?

- Adriana


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5 Responses »

  1. Hi how are you? Hope you are doing well, ok about your question its pretty tuff situation, in a muslim point of view I would say to forgive
    Him. since everyone is impetfect everyone makes mistake.is your lil brother trying amend his ways? If so I suggest you help him, hope things workout

  2. As Muslims, we are supposed to forgive. Even if you were Muslim and this occurred, Islam does not prohibit you of hating you loved ones (Family) due to their actions. Instead it promotes you to help them. But you must understand this occurs with Muslim families as well and they act the same way that your parents did, its only natural. What you should do is try to bring him closer to you and in nice ways you can help him overcome such things. This is the way of Islam. The only time you abandon anyone is when they try to change you from good to bad. Or in Islam, when they oppose you for being a Muslim or they leave the Islam faith for another. Reach out to your brother and both your parents. I will tell this to make you feel much better, Allah has reached out to you and loves you. In the Quran, Allah mentions and repeats how "He (Allah) guides whom He Wills". All things occur in Allah's Will, and this is something you should be very happy about. Let me add a saying that I use with non-Muslim friends and non-Muslims who ask me about Islam, I always mention: "If I was born other then a Muslim, I would embrace Islam without any hesitation". And Allah is my witness that am not saying this so you can convert, but it is to support you to make this change to the right path. I ask Allah to guide you and your family and I ask Allah to help you, your loved ones, myself, my loved ones and all humanity.

  3. Salaams Brother...I pray this helps Allah Willing...

    Surah Al Imran, Verse no: 159

    "...It is part of the Mercy of Allah that thou dost deal gently with them. Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (their faults) and ask for (Allah's) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of moment). Then, when thou hast taken a decision, put they trust in Allah. For Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him).

  4. Peace brother, I would forgive him. People do not go off the rails for no reason, and you are in a much better able to give him advice which stands upon your relationship of love, respect and kindness to eachother than a relationship based on grudges and judgementalness of eachother.
    Peace,
    Leyla

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