Islamic marriage advice and family advice

What is an acceptable age difference between bride and grooms?

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Marriage age differences in U.S. couples

What is an acceptable age difference between bride and groom?


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13 Responses »

  1. any, as long as its morally right.

  2. Do you think age 17 and 28 is fine?

  3. @sad girl
    I think the most important thing is love, and responsibility, and that is for the 17yr old, if the 17yr old feels that they are ready and can handle the responsibility of being a spouse and all that comes with it then it is fine, however if the 17yr old has not fully anticipated this i would suggest thinking over, so yes its fine, but only if both are sure they can face and handle the responsibilities and conditions of marriage.

    Hope that helps.

  4. Age is not a criteria in islamic marriage,, prophet muhammad pbuh marriage to his first wife khadija is a good example. She was 15 years older than him.. He married her when he was at the age of 25 and she was 40... And to every muslim, muhammad pbuh life is the best examplary life to copy,,. He also married women that a younger than him

  5. Difficult one.

    Although Islamically there is no set age limit, and we cannot say it's forbidden for a couple of certain age gap to marry there are some important factors to consider.
    What is acceptable in society is one factor, so of course only marry above a certain age - don't marry a minor! Be aware that large age differences can cause problems. People are at different stages of their lives at different ages. A 20 year old thinks very differently and wants different things to a 30 year old.

    Many couples who marry and have very large age differences often do not work out because they are simply too different. So bear that in mind. Also personally I think age differences matter less as you get older. So I think a 17 and 27 year old would have more trouble then a 37 and 47 year old in general. That's my opinion though. I believe this because when you get older you become more set in your ways and more settled in general. The impulsiveness of youth fades.

    Personally I would definetly not want to marry someone more than 10 year older than me and believe that is the maximum for me. Ideally in my opinion 3-5 years difference but again that's opinion.

    Sara
    IslamicAnswers.com Editor

    • I agree with you Because there has already started to be problems with me and my fiancé because of this age difference. I want to continue my studies and do something In life but he wants me to stay home and not work and have kids now but I want to have kids later... What should I do?

    • Should I talk to my dad?

      • Asslamu Alaikum my dear sister,

        I was in the same situation. My fiance said the exact same thing, though i was 17 and he was about 24. He didnt want me to go to uni, be a housewife..but it wasent a life i could live with. Temporarly, i would have been happy if i married him and in a long time relationship, i dont think i would have liked it and would have been very unhappy but i still agreed to him conditions as I loved him very much but in the end, he cancelled the marriage and at that time, i was devastated!! it broke my heart but sis, taking a step back and thinking about what happened. I think he understood very well that we were not suitable for eachother and when i was in my holiday 1 month ago, he got proposed to another girl, and mashallah, shes just like the girl he wanted and i'm really happy for him and inshallah, i hope the Allah(swt) will give me a better husband than him so Alhamtillah, im happy that it went well for both of us so i would definetely advice you to speak to your father and sort the problem out with your family. My cousins have no choice to marry early and have kids..they dont have a job,always cooking..so, i've realised its not the life i want. Like you said, i want to do something with my life.

        Anyways, I dont know the exact details of your relationship but sis, dont rush into any judgments just yet, speak to your family with you hubby and come to a decision. Ask yourself is that wat you want?? will i be happy in the future? what impact does this have on others??
        I wish you the best of luck sis and i hope that everything works out for you with the help of Allah(swt)

        And dont forget to make dua to Allah(swt), he knows whats best of us, trust me, he honestly knows. Maybe, we wont understand it now, but as time goes, we will be happy about the things that happenend in our lives.

        • Thank you I think I might go with this but my parents might be upset.. Not only them, but my uncle and aunts and my whole family and people talk behind me. He's actuLly one of my uncles son, he's my cousin and won't it bad to break up because I have commited sin and kissed him and a few other things. He loves me very much and I like him but idk. What about the consequences with breaking up? And I cheated on him once after we argued about having kids now and stuff... Idk what to do... I feel like Im gonna end up cheating on him again. He's in another country and I'm in another country.

      • Salaam Sad Girl,

        Getting married and giving up your education and life are separate issues and conditions. If you feel that you are ready to be married - great, get married - and continue on with your life.

        If you feel that you are not happy to drop out of education and start a family and your husband wants this from you - then you must have a discussion about it and try to reach an agreement before you marry, as sacrifices of this nature can cause resentment and pain later on in life. You must be in acceptance of each other in order to have a healthy and happy marriage.

        Age 28 is a natural time to start thinking about settling down and starting a family, but at 17 you are but a teenager and have your whole life ahead of you and it is natural to want to get an education and a career.

        Overall, it sounds as though you have not discussed the future with your fiance enough and you have not reached an agreement as to what the next 5 years will hold.

        Therefore my advice to you is to negotiate and discuss, and if your fiance will not agree to your education - then you may have to wait until after you graduate to get married.

        Successful marriages are not based on age - but a mutual understanding, respect and appreciation of each other. You can be the same age as a person and not have these things, or you can be radically different ages and have these things: it all boils down to communicating effectively at the start and maintaining this communication throughout.

        So - start talking, discussing and coming to an agreement before you move forward into marriage.

        Peace,

        Leyla
        Editor, Islamic Answers

  6. in islam, an old man can marry a little girl, and an old woman can marry a young man.

    when the prophet[saww] was an OLD MAN, MOST of his wives were 30/40 years younger than him.
    saffiah [ra] was 17 and the prophet[saww] was was an old man.
    'Aaishah [ra] was 9 and the prophet[saww] was an old man.
    juwayriyyah [ra] was 20 years old, and he [saww] was an old man.
    Umm Salamah [ra] was in her 30s and the oldest, and the prophet[saww] was an old grey man.

    Most of the companions married teenage girls.

    there is no age gap which is too big.

  7. assalamoalaikum,
    i want to get merry with a girl who (Question deleted. Please log in and submit your question as a separate post. Thank you, IslamicAnswers.com Editor)

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